Listen I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I live that dream ana lifestyle. Realistically I'm over 30. I have responsibilities. I do kind of want to actually live my life. I just want/need control. I eat. Sometimes like a "regular" person. Granted most of my consumption is disordered. I'm at the point where I realize I have to eat food when my brain and body allows if I want to seek any sort of enjoyment from life.
I can't afford to let anymore of my life slip past me because I'm sitting in a dark room too weak from hunger.
I'm not anywhere near recovered but I'm not going to romanticize not eating in order to reach my goals.














