starscream gives everyone an aneurysm on national television
cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor

PR's Tumblrdome

romaâ
YOU ARE THE REASON
todays bird
Keni

ellievsbear
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
dirt enthusiast

Product Placement
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Stranger Things
Game of Thrones Daily
will byers stan first human second
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
seen from Canada
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@brighterbycontrast
starscream gives everyone an aneurysm on national television

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Explaining Internet Horror Things Badly
Local 58 - the moon is one scary ass motherfucker.
Gemini Home Entertainment - neptune is one scary ass motherfucker.
Mandela Catalog - what if jesus, but like among us.
The Monument Mythos/Nixonverse - THE STATUES ARE MOVING! Anyways, America is a country built on the suffering of oppressed peoples, and-
FNAF VHS - What if FNAF made sense?
Welcome Home - tumblr sexyman muppet feeds people to house (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT)
SMILE Tapes - Don't Do Drugs :)
Gilbert Garfield - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.
Kane Pixel's Backrooms - đś My life is like a videogame-đś
Vita Carnis - meat is everywhere.
The June Archive and Restoration Project - Fuck you nintendo, deleting hatena flipnote killed a junillion innocent stickmen
Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - funny muppet become scary muppet.
Mystery Flesh Pit National Park - It is a lovely morning in The Flesh Pit, and you are a horrible capitalist.
VibingLeaf - creepypasta if it was good
TMK - the whole thing was leading up TO A DAMN KARL MARX JOKE!
How come everyone has orbs now??? What the fuck!!! I want an orb!!! How do I get an orb????????
Are you a wizard?
Gotta be a wizard to have an orb.
What kind of a question is that? Of course Iâm a wizard! Iâm over here doing hot wizard shit and everything.
No no you have an orb! You showed me that one time! (Surreptitiously hands you a spare orb under the table)
ILLEGAL ORB TRANSFER
HALT, DIRTBAGS
YOUâLL NEVER CATCH ME! I HAVE THE POWER OF THE ORB!
(scatters handful of very small orbs on the floor) I cast fall on your ass!
NOOOOOO
In the Lake District for the weekend, had missed this part of the country so much.
get vaccinated so we never have to see CNN talk about an omega variant
An omega variant would be one of the last covid variants and the trend is that covid is slowly becoming more infectious and less severe with each mutation. This would mean that the omega variant would spread and multiply extremely easily, but would also be weak and mild in symptoms.
Therefore we can consider the omega variant submissive and breedable.
op here. i want a lobotomy
Ffs tumblr

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Wheeljack, drunk off his ass: i tell ya what. It was the best time of my life. I was closer to God and flush with cash.
Starscream: Wheeljack I really don't want to talk about the 5th grade anymore.
Oi @foolishglint this is what you get
Making me watch this show was not a mistake
Iâd been wanting to make something like this for a while, but I had to wait until the drama CD confirmed some things, so, in any case: hereâs my attempt at a rough timeline for the events of Kizuna, taking into account the time difference between Tokyo and New York. Some of this requires a bit of a stretch (the Eosmon battle has to effectively take place in a really narrow ~6 PM/5 AM window of time for the sky conditions to make sense), but I think ultimately everything here should roughly track.
Other considerations:
We know the July 20 date because of the news article that Taichi reads in class, so everything else here works with that as a baseline.
July 21 had some pretty awful overcast skies and rain in Tokyo, so I had to make some rough guesses at time of day (mainly using the 02 quartetâs clearer skies in New York as a reference).
The drama CD establishes that Daisuke and co. being in New York was a fully planned multi-day trip; the date of planning is ambiguous, but it naturally must have been sometime before July 19. Given the above timeline, itâs likely that the 02 quartet not participating in the Nakano battle with Parrotmon nor in the group chat in To Sora despite clearly being on call, and the reason Miyako decided she needed to âdumpâ Menoaâs request on Koushirou, was because they were all too busy preparing for this trip.
Because Takeru and Hikari are established by said drama CD to also have been planned to join the trip on the âsecond dayâ, but were not present on July 19 in New York even late at night, itâs likely that July 19 was their date of arrival in New York and July 20 that planned âsecond dayâ â which was, sadly, derailed when they got kidnapped. Given the timing of when their kidnapping was discovered, the 02 quartet would likely not have learned about the real reason for their âlatenessâ until late into July 20 (if they were even informed at all).
Jouâs exact kidnapping time is unknown, but Koushirou says heâs lost contact with Jou around the same time Takeru and Hikariâs kidnapping is discovered.
Itâs unclear whether Agumon and Gabumon disappeared on July 22 itself or whether they managed to hang on at least another day or two (hey, you never know!!), so Iâve left it out of the timeline. Piyomon disappeared sometime on July 22, but the exact timing is unknown.
Soraâs flower arrangement presentation, from the end of To Sora, is held on July 29; Taichiâs graduation (from the credits) is in fall, and the movieâs epilogue in spring 2011.
New Years 2020 > 2021 Just wanted to encapsulate the jarring difference in mood
Have fun in the war dumbass Iâll be at home fucking military wives
Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in
shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker
All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat
im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife
But heâs got shooters all over the world đ even when heâs away
just shot a load in his wife
You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and youâre here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, weâre not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.
Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you heâs a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son
The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast
your girl boutta be the feast soon as you get deployed boot boy
World Heritage Post
Who ever was the first person to post this is the biggest piece of shit in the world. Youâre an amoral ASSHOLE!!!!!
Hotmeat89 you are a disgrace you donât deserve to be called an American! You donât even have the right to call yourself a MAN!
I donât call myself a man but your wife still calls me to fuck

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âWomen Onlyâ, featuring Ninephe the elven aristocrat and Gwenbari the dwarven merchant. Art by @schpog-artâ ( Instagram | Ko-Fi | Twitter ) Story by @glasmond ( Instagram | Gwenbariâs Instagram )
i bolted up at 5am in a cold sweat to make this
tfw your coworker is such a creep that youâd literally rather be kidnapped by the local supervillain than be around him
Please can I have some more, op :âD
Honestly this is why I was sad when Megamind became a hero I wanted him to be the local supervillain who keeps the peace by ensuring heâs the only criminal in the game. And Metroman has a big staged fight with him every fortnight or so. And Roxanne gets âkidnappedâ by Megamind frequently but itâs really for a date so Metroman just goes âcool, pick you two up in three hours k?â But publically Roxanne and Metroman are dating even if everyone knows the truth, itâs a fun charade. And whenever a ârealâ supervillain shows up Megamind and Metroman have this big dramatic âtruceâ to team up and fight the bad guy Coming up with increasingly convoluted motivations so that Megamind is technically still evil. They have all night writing workshops and everything.
Anyway thatâs why I love this comic, because it feeds into that possibility.
Wa-
Iâm
Iâm listening
Iâm very listening
Bra size?
ak-47
i wonder what evolutionary niche clowns evolved to fill
Apex predator.
No im pretty sure they started as a prey animal, thatâs why their pupils are rectangles
Short answer: They are physiological designed to be the perfect childrenâs entertainer.
Long Answer: They didnât really evolve at all. They were selectively bred alongside mimes, which share a common ancestor, the Jester. Jesters are, of course, the domesticated descendant of Bards, from which the entire Entertainer genus evolved.Â
Clowns were bred to be appealing to small children who would (theoretically) be more interested in the clownâs bright colors, silly antics, and slapstick comedy.Â
Mimes were bred to be more appealing to older audiences, for whom color and simplicity are as likely to be disinteresting as fascinating.
This is a dangerous oversimplification. Party clowns were bred to entertain children, and many modern circus clowns are crossbreeds with high party clown content (the party clownâs bright coloration being a desirable trait) but the party clownâs gentle nature and poor reflexes makes purebreeds a poor fit for the circus. The ones you see in the circus are generally crossed with mimes or acrobats.
Generalizing clowns as childrenâs entertainment leads to tragedy when people think they can trust any clown with small children when many breeds are temperamentally unsuited for that kind of thing - rodeo clowns are notoriously high-strung, funhouse clowns can be mean-spirited, and while the evil clownâs name is something of a misnomer you should still never leave a child alone with one.
To that note. The ancestry doesnât stop at bards. It goes back to poets! See a particular breed of poet back in the Gaels time were actually quite formidable. They were ruthless and unstoppable to the point of dethroning kings with their sick burns alone. In attempt to harness their power and strength they were cross bred with european writers who were already fully domesticated under the heel of the ruling church. This produced the well known bard with their shanty and songs while still maintaining a bit of their ruthless bite they were prised for. While never quite as effective as the Gaelic poet they maintained their popularity.
The poets however began to fall out of favor and were mostly wiped out. But threads of their heraldry can still be seen today with americanized poet cross breeds. While not retaining their classic power of the Gaelic poets they still maintained their respectable cunning and might of word we can still see today in clubs and spoken word events.
actually entertainer species of one kind or another have been present throughout pretty much all of recorded history. even paleolithic art documents the evolution of homo coulros alongside early humans
history didnât begin with europe. humans and clowns have coexisted since the beginning
fun fact: while prevailing scientific attitudes tend to assume that clowns were predominantly a scavenger species, there is some evidence that early clowns & humans hunted together
This entire thread is a fever dream am I dead??
surely death would be more peacefulÂ
Unironically, as a trained clown (no, really) I find this really funny because you are literally describing how these types of clowns historically came about IRL and doing so with surprising accuracy. I learned this in actual clown school y'all. Your shitposting is accidentally (?) real, factual Clowning History and I canât get over that.
Theyâre still evolving

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a transformers contiuity where the bots are more or less genre-savvy to the whole "optimus won't be dead for long" thing. like optimus dies and the obligatory human companions are heartbroken but literally every one of the autobots is just like "eh we only need to worry if he's not back by next tuesday"
also optimus getting like fucking stabbed or something and just being like. sighs. and then fuckin dies with a faintly irritated expression
instead of a dramatic monologue before death its just everyone being like "god damn it not again" and optimus being like "arcee is in charge till i get back, don't throw any wild parties and remember to change the trash" and when he gets back in 5-10 business days hes gonna find literally noone changed the trash that entire time
either that or every single time it happens he makes his monologue even more ridiculously melodramatic and florid and the humans are absolutely distraught but the bots are just trying to hold in their fucking laughter