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stratt and grace and the rest of the phm science team running on 4 cumulative hours of sleep at an unscheduled conference. dimitri and lokken are trying to explain a new complication in the hail mary's fueling system and the resources necessary to iron it out but they keep getting interrupted by government officials butting in until grace (who doesn't even look up from his laptop and checked out of the conversation two days ago) snaps "we raise our hands to speak"
complete silence for like 3 seconds. the french prime minister sheepishly raises his hand and stratt smiles for the first time that week (grace buries his entire head behind his laptop screen for wont of a better option, like jumping straight into the sea)
rocky's crew dying from radiation exposure, something humans go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of and grace's crew dying in their "sleep" with nobody watching, something eridians go to great lengths to prevent and are very scared of. cool book that is easy to read through your tears.
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Au where Batman doesn't want to tell the Justice League his secret identity but it's because he's really embarrassed about the things he's done as Bruce Wayne.
The thing is; Batman has spent years crafting and perfecting his public persona.
'Brucie Wayne' is supposed to be a dumber than life himbo, with daddy's credit card and the maturity of a seventeen year old. He's supposed to be someone so outlandishly ridiculous no one would ever even dare to mention him in the same sentence as Batman... And Batman has been acting that part perfectly.
It's a genius plan.
But then the league begins talking about maybe all sharing their secret identities, to become closer as a group and work better together. And the only thing in Batman's mind is 'Oh. My. God. Please don't'
Superman is saying something about trust and how he has come to value all of them as friends. Batman is thinking about last year Christmas' Gala, where he took off his clothes in an improvised strip-tease, and started swimming in the fountain.
Wonder woman is talking about how she wishes to strengthen their bonds so they become greater warriors. Bruce just remembered there's videos of him fucking twerking and pole dancing to Ariana Grande all over the internet.
Flash starts smiling and telling them he already trust them with his lifeā Bruce once said chocolate milk came from brown cows.
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something something something Price has to hire a new secretary. his old one left to take care of her aging mother and while heās sad to see her go, heās also relieved. she was a fucking spectacular secretary but my god was she a gentle soul. he caught her crying after she accidentally squished a bug once. how sheād managed under his employment, he had no fucking idea.
no, now heās hiring someone new and heās shitting it. he wanted someone older, less mid to late 30ās, more mid to late 60ās. no, instead he ends up with a woman whose mid to late 20ās.
he thinks the lads will eat her alive.
Soap is the youngest of his family, two older sisters who were more like bonus mums cause he was an oopsie baby. Ghost of course had a brother. he himself is the eldest of five boys. Gaz isā¦ well, he grew up around all his cousins so at least heās not completely crippled in that way.
she starts her first shift, all is well. second one too. third is grand. fourth is a little tense cause Soap called her a barn owl cause sheās always quiet with big eyes looking around.
fifth? the warfare fucking begins.
first she tells Ghost she loves his halloween costume!
itās fucking February.
then she tricks Soap into trying to say purple burglar alarm. follows up the disastrous attempts with a soft little click of sympathy and explains that sometimes even adults need speech and language therapy.
every time she sees Gaz? tells him media relations isnāt in this building and that the actors for the recruitment ads have to report to HR. refused to believe heās a solider.
prints out several mission reports for Ghost in size 6 font and then suddenly, the printer is jammed and thereās just no way itāll be fixed in time for his briefing.
Price shows up sans hat and asks her to unlock his office because he left his keys at home?
she slowly picks up the phone, not breaking eye contact, and rings him. maintains eye contact as he pulls his phone out and answers it.
āCaptain Price? Yeah, thereās a strange man here asking to be let into your office. He says heās you but, heās not wearing a hat so i dunno.ā
maintains eye contact the whole time.
starts a rumour that Soapās middle name is Alisha because his parents wanted another girl and refused to give up the name.
starts a rumour that Ghost drinks tea with the mask on so that when heās deployed, he can suck the leftover liquid out of the fabric.
starts a rumour that Gaz was a male underwear model in China after he skips a mission thanks to two broken ribs, stating that the reason he canāt go to China is he keeps getting recognised.
starts a rumour that Price glued his hat to his head by accident and that was why he hadnāt seemed to have taken it off in three days.
she inflicts maximum chaos and yet never lets her duties as his secretary slip. sheās fucking incredible at her job!
ā¦ and is also the youngest child with two older brothers. unlike Soap though, the age gaps are minimal. sheās just the most experienced rage baiter on base and thereās nothing short of begging for mercy they can do about it.
sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis
Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries āmon dieu!!!ā before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying āah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!ā and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement
Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.
Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i love how this show plays fast and loose with the fourth wall. what weāre saying makes sense in the show but also weāre punching through the tv to talk to you, audience :)
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