Always Untitled

For all the Ghosties who are still trying ⭐️We see your star power ✨

me at 14: I cant wait till im in college I have so many plans for life and nothing can stop me :)

For me, being a man has meant a constant confrontation with standards of masculinity. I grew up in a culture where the term “biblical manhood” was often used, and so I looked at Jesus as the ultimate example of masculinity like my christian community told me, and for a while, I was fine with that because I was a sensitive kid and Jesus seemed like a sensitive and caring guy. Eventually, though, I noticed that the men who followed this ideal of biblical manhood often would attribute qualities to Jesus that I never would have expected. The more I moved towards this ideal of masculinity, the more I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and I noticed that no man in my life seemed like he was comfortable with who he was either. At this point, I’ve decided that there is no way to achieve masculinity. The boy who eventually becomes a man in his own mind inevitably feels weak at some point and is pulled along towards more and more toxic forms of masculinity. My hope now is that men of the younger generations will learn from movements like feminism and see the freedom that can be found in throwing away useless gender norms.

I buried you in every place I found and you bloomed as the prettiest words I ever wrote.

I want to kiss you in every corner you’ve never been kissed before. I want to buy you a house, a little house with ocean view. I want to pull your warm body closer to mine every morning and inhale your ever so lovely vanilla perfume you wear at night. Even though you always try to convince me to not surprise you with roses every Friday after work, I’ll do it anyway. I’ll do it every week until my heart stops beating. It’s the least I could do. You deserve galaxies, an ocean full of beautiful things, but most of all, you deserve true love. The kind of love I know you’ve always wanted, but never had. I want to give you that. All of it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you for everything you are and everything you’re yet to become. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

“Difficult things provoke all your irritations and bring your habitual patterns to the surface. And that becomes the moment of truth. You have the choice to launch into your lousy habitual patterns, or to stay with the rawness and discomfort of the situation and let it transform you.”