distant screeching

Levi knew you were hard on yourself the minute you messed up in squad training. 

Each time you did something wrong, your mood would immediately drop as you mumble curses under your breath, kicking at the dirt underneath your feet

It seemed that the other soldiers paid no mind to it, but after all Levi was your captain and paid attention to every little detail

Even after you became a squad leader, you put on a facade for the other cadets

You couldn’t look sad around them when death was crawling around at all times

It was just something you didn’t want

There have been multiple times where he could hear sobs coming from your room but chose it upon himself to give you the privacy you deserves, just like anyone deserves

Every time you greeted him, you always had a smile

A fake pained smile

“Good Morning Levi!”

“Why do you look like that?”

“Eh?! This is my face!”

“I mean that sad ass look in your eyes.”

Crap he noticed

Your smile faltered as you shifted uncomfortable, not liking the way he made you feel by saying that.

“What do you mean?”

He stays quiet as he observes your body language, taking in every detail “Uh huh..whatever you say. 

You nod quickly and turn on your heel, quickly walking away

On many occasions he caught you with tears in your eyes as you came up with a lame excuse how you yawned or dirt entering your eyes but Levi Ackerman wasn’t an idiot 

There was a final straw for you

This was your first expedition as a squad leader, everyone in your designated squad, their lives were resting in your good judgement 

You liked to think you had good judgement

But you didn’t that day 

You led your squad right into death’s arms, of course as if the universe was mocking you, decided to let you be the only one to survive but with horrible injuries

Your first mission, you let those that needed to survive the most, die gruesome deaths in front of your eyes

As you were making your way back for the walls, you resided in the wagon for the injured and stayed more quiet with bandages covering your abdomen and leg and a wrap around your forehead. 

Levi was riding in the wagon with you, staring at you intently as he rubbed his thigh, wincing from the pain he received moments prior.

After a moment of silence, you spoke up. “I killed them..”

“What?”

“I killed them. I killed my squad, Levi.”

“That’s not true and you know that.”

“How am I supposed to be a leader if I let everybody down back there?! If I were strong enough, fast enough or hell! Even smart enough! They would all still be here!”

“Their deaths are not your fault.”

“Then who is at fault?!” you screamed, ignoring your tears as they trickled down your face.

Levi watched quietly as he tried to think of the best answer possible. 

“It’s no one's fault. You or I didn’t know that would happen.”

You choked on a sob as you looked away, gritting your teeth together.

“I’m awful..”

“Listen here,” he snapped and grabbed your face in his hand, noticing the shock look in your life.

“You had no control over what happened. You didn’t know what the outcome would be. You thought that it would be the best choice to lead them in that direction. They did what they swore to do, risking their life for humanity. They gave their final waking moments knowing that someday, their sacrifices will lead to humanity’s freedom. Don’t you dare let me hear you say you’re awful again. You’re just as strong or stronger than any soldier here.”

“Levi..” you whispered softly. The said male let out a noise of fake annoyance and let go of your face, pushing you down softly to lay down against the wood material. 

“Damn brat..pull something like that again and I’ll personally bring you back and beat the crap out of you. I can’t lose you either, not like them.” 

“Someone sounds nice all of a sudden.”