It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

she’s out there making owl noises

who

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.

It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.

THIS IS WHAT GOOD PUSSY SOUNDS LIKE: [GEIGER COUNTER GOES WILD]

about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa