posts funnier with timestamps on

We’re under a severe thunderstorm warning rn and my dad just opened the door to show my dog because he was begging to go out and it reminded me of that part in Dracula where Dracula opens the door to the howling wolves and Jonathan’s like um actually I’ll stay inside thanks

Did you know that you can stay up all night intending to do work, but if you don't actually do the work, the work doesn't get done, and then you've just fucked up your sleep schedule for no good reason, and you *still have to do the work*?

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

Sisyphus

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

In retrospect, consider the number 1 thing every grade-schooler knows about plants is they take in light, the idea they might be able to see should not wreck my shit as hard as it does

You know, as much as I'm a fan of horror and time loops, the absolute funniest interpretation I've seen of Dracula Daily is the one that goes that Jonathan Harker is fine and healthy and happy, he's just telling this story to his grandkids. Again. Because they love hearing the Vampire Story.

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree