you ever wonder why we're here?

2. Samantha

Mulder’s whole identity revolves around his lost sister, who’s been missing for decades, but he still doesn’t lose hope of seeing her again. I feel like he clings too hard to the title of an older brother to a sister who’s never coming back, of a son to an uncaring father and abusive mother. Clings to the dream of bringing Samantha home, of his parents finally accepting him. And that is why, in my opinion, he surpresses any and all thoughts of what it would feel like to be a woman. He’s scared of discovering who he is if not Samantha’s brother.

3. Paper Hearts.

In the episode Paper Hearts, Mulder is Alice in a nightmarish Wonderland. He follows the mad hatter instead of the white rabbit, who doesn’t drink tea with the march hare, but kills little girls. I feel like having Mulder wear a pink t-shirt in this episode was a deliberate choice, highlighting his femininity and the fear of growing up. Mulder is Alice who woke up to discover that her sister was nowhere to be found, and had to be confronted with the harsh reality where there’s no such thing as little green men and cheshire cats, but there are child molesters. This is further elaborating on point 2, Mulder asking himself “if I’m not Samantha’s brother, who am I?”, except I want to dissect this even more. In the dream, Mulder hugs his sister, which was obviously intended as him finally finding her, saving her, but we can also look at this from another angle. He’s hugging the little girl who he never got to be. By saving Samantha he heals his inner girl, finally accepting her, only to have her violently ripped from him. This is where Scully would roll her eyes, but Mulder would nod eagerly, so walk with me here. It was obviously not the writers’ intention, but if they make their “male” protagonist play Alice in Wonderland, they better be ready for the consequences.

4. All Things

If you've been following me for some time, you know I never shut up about this episode and its influence on transfem Mulder theory. Gillian Anderson woke up one day and thought to herself: hmmm what if I wrote an episode where Mulder and Scully get compared to a lesbian couple? And what if Scully keeps chasing this mysterious woman, and when she finally catches up with her, the woman turns around and it’s Mulder? There’s just so much to unpack. Scully has a heart-to-heart with a lesbian who tells her that she’d been so stressed about keeping her relationship a secret that she got cancer. And when she allowed herself to be open about it, she was able to get better. Scully, who also had cancer, and who is currently having doubts about her relationship with Mulder, listens to her intently. She lets go of the past (namely comphet), accepts that she’s a lesbian, and Mulder is, in fact, a woman. I’m barely even exaggerating, this is literally the plot of the episode. That’s it, case closed.

5. Denise

But of course. Even though I haven’t watched enough Twin Peaks to actually meet her, she is near and dear to my heart. I personally lean more towards butch Mulder, and don’t think that she’d change much of her appearance, but she’s an excellent point of reference for just how beautiful Mulder could be.