I'm Not Real, I Made Myself Up.

Yeah we are easier to manipulate. Most (but not all) people with bpd have been raised by dysfunctional parents that are often also manipulative and/or abusive so a person with bpd can very easily get into an abusive relationship and miss every red flag because they are so used to it. It’s normal to them.

People with bpd also split. When they go from feeling bad about a person to good, they often forget every negative thing the manipulative/abusive person did. Manipulative people will recognize this. After they treat the bpd person like shit, they’ll do one nice thing to make the bpd person shift and no longer remember the bad stuff that happened.

I am unstable.

I am moody.

I am filled with this insatiable sense of emptiness which can only be filled by doing terrible things. (Self destructive behaviors.)

I have commitment issues.

I have abandonment issues.

I’m incredibly confrontational.

I do really inconvenient things like “splitting”, “dissociating”, “depersonalization”.

I’m stubborn.

I have extremely poor impulse control.

I have different senses of my own identity, but its like viewing me from a different angle, not a different personality. (Did you know that a lot of cases of DID are actually misdiagnosed cases of BPD?)

I can’t have stable relationships because I have this real or imagined sense that everyone will leave, and it becomes a sort of self fulfilling prophesy.

I’m just a person, with a condition caused by genetics (and/or trauma), that affects how my brain functions.

I have taken a plethora of different medications, some have helped, some haven’t, and some have made it worse. But the most important part of treatment is to talk. To go to therapy. To be self aware. To try and acknowledge and correct destructive behaviors. But that doesn’t mean medications can’t help or aren’t important.

- intense, uncontrollable sobbing when you get hit with that wave of unreality

- or screaming

- or both

- lying on the cold floor. that’s it. you’re just laying there, empty.

- doing something impulsive because you want to feel real/things to feel real

- i dont have a personality and nor do i have a body

- feeling more alone than you normally do because no one else is real

- stressing out for a few hours only to dissociate on continuum for the next couple weeks

Incorporating the elements

Air

Draw the sigil in the air using incense

Draw the sigil on your body and go for a walk

Energetically trace sigils in the air and let the wind carry and charge them

Draw the sigil on paper, rip it up, and let the wind blow it away

Draw the sigil onto a flag, let it blow in the wind

Trace the sigil in the air with your hand, push it away

Draw or attach the sigil to a windchime

Leave the sigil outside during a windstorm

Water

Draw the sigil on your body and take a shower

Draw the sigil on a piece of paper, submerge the paper in water, let the water evaporate

Carve the sigil into a bar of soap and wash yourself with it

When taking a bath, draw the sigil in the bottom of the tub with soap/bath salts/baking soda

Draw the sigil on a stone with water and wait for it to evaporate

Draw the sigil on you hand, then wash it away

Breathe on your window so that it fogs up, then draw the sigil on it

Draw the sigil on any surface using water

Sew the sigil into your clothes, wash them

Draw the sigil on paper and put it under running water

Draw the sigil on a beach, let the ocean wash it away

Draw the sigil on a rock and throw it in a river/ocean

Flush the sigil down the toilet (make sure it’s on biodegradable paper)

Draw the sigil on paper and place in in a jar, add salt and water, then shake it up (Optional: add a drop or two of essential oil matching intent)

Leave the sigil outside during a rainstorm

Put the sigil in a pot of boiling water

Draw the sigil onto a coin and toss it into a fountain

Earth

Draw the sigil on a piece of paper and surround it with crystals that match the intent

Draw the sigil on a piece of paper and bury it in the ground

Place the sigil with a plant

Draw the sigil on the ground

Draw the sigil on a rock and leave it somewhere that makes you happy

Draw the sigil on paper and put it in a jar of salt

Put a crystal that matches the intent on top of the sigil 

Trace the sigil with a crystal matching the intent

Tape the sigil onto a window during a full moon

Trace the sigil in dust/dirt, then blow it away

Use herbs matching the intent of the sigil, draw the sigil on paper and mix everything together, paper included

Burn herbs matching the sigils intent, pass the sigil through the smoke

Fire

Draw the sigil on a piece of paper and burn it 

Carve the sigil into a candle and burn with intent

Draw the sigil on the bottom of a tea light candle, let it burn out

Pass the sigil through smoke (any smoke works, but incense is best)

Draw the sigil on paper, leave it in sunlight

Carve the sigil into a candle, let it melt away

Sigils In everyday life

Eating and Drinking

Carve the sigil into your food before eating it

Draw the sigil under your kitchen table

When drinking tea, draw the sigil in the bottom of your mug with honey

Trace the sigil on the bottom of a pot before cooking with it

Draw the sigil on the bottom of your favorite cup

If you’re at a bonfire/cooking over a flame, carve the sigil into your food with a toothpick before you roast it (Hotdog, mashmallow, etc.)

Draw the sigil on a piece of bread, toast it

Draw the sigil in a pan with cooking oil, then cook

Draw the sigil out of ketchup on your food

Put pancake batter in a squeeze bottle, draw your sigil in the frying pan with the batter

In Art and Music

Incorporate the sigil into an art piece that has to do with the intent

Paint the sigil over a picture that didn’t turn out the way you wanted

Draw the sigil anywhere on your body and draw a pattern around it, don’t wash it off, let it fade on its own

Trace the sigil onto a pair of headphones/speaker with your finger, listen to music that matches your intent

Draw the sigil on the inside of your sketchbook cover

Draw the sigil and scribble it out

Draw the sigil on paper and tape it to the bottom of your laptop/tablet/phone if you write, draw, or make music digitally

Place the sigil in front of music speakers

Draw the sigil onto a CD that you love, and play it

Imagine the sigil in your mind while dancing

Draw the sigil on a dry erase board and erase it

Draw your sigil on the ground with chalk 

To Keep it With You

Draw the sigil on a piece of paper and put it in your purse

Draw the sigil on the bottom of your shoe

Sew the sigil into your clothing

Draw the sigil on paper and keep it in your wallet

Draw the sigil on your skin with water/oil/marker/etc. depending on intent

Tattoo the sigil onto your body (This only applies to certain sigils)

Draw the sigil on the back of a necklace you always wear

Draw the sigil on your nail, then paint over it with nail polish

Draw the sigil on your car steering wheel

Draw the sigil on your face with concealer, then blend it in

Put the sigil in a locket and wear it

Technology

Take a photo of your sigil, then delete the picture

Draw the sigil on paper and place it under a charging device

Draw the sigil inside your phone case

Set the sigil as your phone lockscreen, charge the phone

Draw the sigil on paper and tape it to the bottom of your laptop/tablet/phone

Download a sigil app

Directing Your Own Energy

Body Energy and Visualization

Visualize the sigil in your mind, think about the intent of your sigil

Draw the sigil on the ground/write it on a piece of paper and sit on it while meditating

Exercise while visualizing the sigil and your intent

Leave the sigil under your pillow during acts of passion

Masturbate while thinking about the sigil

Draw the sigil on a vein (wrist works well)

Recite a chant that goes with the sigil’s intent

Draw the sigil on paper and rub it between your hands

Draw the sigil somewhere on your body, tap it when you think about it

Draw the sigil on paper and stab it

Draw the sigil with blood as ink (controversial, not recommended)

Draw the sigil on your palm and clap your hands

Other

Draw a sigil on the corner of your homework assignments

§  High Functioning Borderline– The High Functioning Borderline Personality shares many core aspects of the low functioning borderline personality, except for the fact that they can manage their lives, appear to be productive, and generally keep their relationships civil (even diplomatic in nature). High Functioning borderlines can appear to be normal, driven people one moment; then moody, inconsolable, and manipulative the next. Somehow, there is a mechanism within the minds of High Functioning Borderlines that allows them to lead somewhat “competent” lives, despite the fact that they are in a constant battle with BPD. High functioning BPDs are no better than low functioning: it’s basically the same face wearing a different mask.

§  Extroverted Borderline– Anyone familiar with the Meyer-Briggs personality tests will understand the psychological differences between extroversion and introversion. When these characteristics are mixed with BPD, there are two different results. The Extroverted Borderline pushes all their feelings, fears, manipulation, rage, and moodiness outward to the people around them. In essence, if you are around an extroverted BPD, you feel like you’re living through their emotions while coping with your own at the same time. Further, extroverted BPDs will attempt self abusive acts in plain view of others in order to avoid abandonment or to express their rage. For example, an Extroverted BPD might cut themselves and then immediately share it with family and friends around them, hoping to gain sympathy or attention. In most cases, these types of behaviors frighten non-Borderlines, and they wonder whether or not the Extroverted BPD should be committed to a psych ward.

§  Introverted Borderline– Contrary to popular belief, “introverted” doesn’t necessarily describe someone who is a recluse (agoraphobic). Instead, introversion is characterized by experiencing life in a self-reflective, private, and at times distant manner. To others, introverts may appear shy or lacking in people skills. This might be true, however, introverts make up for their lack of social skills with rich inner lives, thoughts, and deep thinking. As a result, the introverted Borderline primarily focuses all their BPD emotions and reactions inward. Instead of having a rage episode in public, they might retreat to their rooms and cry for hours on end, perhaps even cutting themselves for their own amusement or as stress relief. Introverted Borderlines live in an odd world: on one hand, they spend most of their time in personal thought and reflection, looking to fill themselves with a viable sense of self; but on the other, they are conflicted by emptiness and the bottomless emotional pit that BPD produces. Introverted BPDs might be harder to “spot” unless you happen to know one personally, in which case you might notice occasional depressive symptoms and evidence of self harm.

§  Transparent Borderline– The Transparent Borderline is a bit of a mix between a high functioning borderline and either extroverted or introverted tendencies. In plain terms, Transparent Borderlines live double lives: on the surface, “in public”, they appear one way, but in private, amongst immediate family and friends, they appear completely different. As a result, they may or may not be high functioning due to this conflicted state of mind. Transparent Borderlines spend most of their emotional energy trying to balance the personality demands of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the both of which experience strong BPD emotions like anyone else with the disease. Like Introverted Borderlines, Transparent Borderlines are harder to spot, and often only confess their true disposition after a harrowing rage, major break up, or other severely traumatic event that brings all their BPD feelings to the fore.”