Little ray of sunshine

Oneshots:

Monday Mornings (Fluff)

Draco is a morning person, you are not. A classic Monday morning where he tries to wake you up for breakfast, but you just want to sleep longer.

Apologise (Angst to Fluff)

You've been bullied by Draco Malfoy since 2nd year when a rumor about you liking him spread around the school. It's fourth year now and you've just about had enough of his rude remarks, so you stand up to him for the sake of your own mental health, catching him off guard with an apology.

Tightrope (Angst to Fluff)

You and Draco have been happily married, and you have a son and twin daughters. Draco has important business to attend to at the Theatrical Hall in Muggle London, when you see on the Daily Prophet, a picture of Draco kissing an unknown woman.

Practice Makes Perfect (Fluff)

Draco has been trying to learn to braid your hair, and day after day, he becomes a master at it. Next up- braiding his hair...

Don't Be Like Him (Angst + Fluff) *TW

Your parents have lots of fights, and there hasn't usually been any like this one. You're on your mum's side, because your dad calls your mum a lot of nasty things and burdens her with his family. You come home one day, crying to your husband Draco, and you tell him to promise you that he will never be like your dad.

Twoshots:

Fake smiles (2 parts) *Personal Favourite

Fake smiles (Angst - Part 1) You and Draco have been dating for 6 months now and the relationship is going great. Until Daphne Greengrass introduced her younger sister Astoria. Draco and her seem to be getting friendly with each other, and you find that you have been fake smiling far too much.  Real Smiles (Angst to Fluff - Fake Smiles Part 2) A heavy hearted Draco contemplates his actions and tries to win your love back, and he earns that real smile that he's been wanting so see in a long time.

Series:

Deadline series (3 parts) *Popular + Personal Favourite

Deadline (Angst - Part 1) Draco notices the love of his life slipping through his fingers. Will he win her back? Or is their love a deadline long overdue? Should he show his final act of love by letting her go? Not Him (Angst - Deadline Part 2) After Draco ended things with you, you decide to move on with someone new. It's only then you realise that you can't forget him, you wish you could but it's so natural for you to love him. It doesn't help that Theo constantly compares himself to Draco and tries to be like him so that you love him. Our Happy Ending (Angst to Fluff- Deadline part 3) After Theo ended things with you, it was hard to face life again. Loneliness consumes you as you realise that there are no such things as happy endings. Theo has already moved on, but the question is, have you?

My Sunshine series (Ongoing series + regular updates) *Popular + Personal Favourite

My Sunshine Masterlist (? Parts) You're a muggleborn Hufflepuff student at Hogwarts, a bright girl with a wonderful circle of friends from houses all around. You may not be popular but you are well known in Hogwarts for your kindness. You never thought you'd ever interact with the Slytherin Prince, seeing as he had a strict friend group with very strong opinions on blood purity, but you find yourself falling for him and his charms. You see a side to him that you were sure no one else saw, but did he actually see you as something more than an acquaintance? Or did he have his eyes on someone else?

Harry Potter (Requests Closed)

Never Let Go Of Me (Angst) *Requested

---

Morning light filters through the dorm window. You wake up disoriented, hair a mess, and find a folded note on your bedside table small, familiar handwriting.  You smile softly to yourself, the gesture giving you a whiff of nostalgia. You already know who it is before reading it.

"Couldn't bear to wake you again so I carried you back. Sorry for what I said, it was way out of line. You shouldn't throw away the life you've worked hard for to save me." - D.M.

You felt a pain in your chest as you read it twice, fingertips lingering over his initials. For a second you almost smile, then you realise how crushed he probably felt when you didn't return his feelings. He was probably feeling terrible for opening up like that. And all you had said to him in return was that you couldn't leave Chris. 

You tuck the note into your journal quietly looking around for Hannah but your feet take you to the dining hall before your brain can think, needing to tell someone about all of what's happened.

Taking a seat next to Hannah and Zach at the Hufflepuff tables and Justin squeezes next to you asking if you're gonna eat your food and taking it anyway when you don't respond.

Your attention is elsewhere.

You spot a familiar head of blonde hair at the Slytherin tables. He looks solemn, isolated from the present world as his eyes are fixed on his untouched plate in front of him. When he finally glances up, his eyes meet none other than yours. It's short, but it hold a thousand words.

As quickly as you looked, you snap your head away, tapping Hannah on the shoulder as she laughs along with Chris. 

"Hannah can we leave?" you say in an urgent tone

"Sure? Is everything okay?" she asks her fingers intertwined with Zach's, reluctant to leave.

"I just... a lot happened I need your help. I just need my best friend" you plead.

Hannah nods quickly understanding the importance of the situation. By the time you got back to the dorms, the Hufflepuff common room was nearly empty, the warm glow of the lanterns casting soft golden circles on the walls. Hannah was sprawled across her bed, half-buried under her yellow blanket, muttering to herself. You could tell something was up, she usually was more cheery than this. Looks like you both had some drama to spill. 

“Okay, what’s wrong with you?” you asked, shrugging your robe off as you sit next to her sprawled figure on the bed. "And don't say nothing, it's clearly something."

She groaned dramatically. “Zach. Obviously. He told me he doesn't like my PDA. After two months of holding hands, sneaking kisses in the corridor, and holding my waist in public. Why is he only telling me now! If it bothered him he could've told me earlier, now I'm going to have withdrawals” She pouts playfully.

You couldn’t help but laugh, folding your legs beneath you. “He’s probably just scared. You know him, Zach is shy, cut him some slack.”

Hannah threw a pillow at you. “You’re defending him? You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I am on your side!” you said through a fit of giggles. “But Hannah come on, you know Zach’s basically obsessed with you. He just needs a little push.”

She grumbled but smiled, her frustration fading. “Yeah, well, I wish things were as simple as you make them sound.” Her tone softened, her eyes flicking toward you. “What did you need to tell me? You sounded pretty urgent at breakfast.”

You hesitated, chewing your lip. “I don't even know where to start, it’s… complicated.”

“Complicated like boy complicated?” she teased, sitting up instantly.

You nodded slowly.

“Is it Chris? Hah! Spill,” she said, cross-legged now, eyes wide with curiosity. “Everything. Right now.”

"It's- It's not Chris... that's why it's complicated" your eyes flick to your lap not really wanting to face Hannah. 

You sighed and started talking. About the willow tree. About the note. About how Draco looked at you that night, like he finally saw you for real. You told her about the confession, his apology, the way he’d said it was you all along.

Hannah didn’t interrupt once. She just listened, her hand tracing the stitching of her blanket as you poured it all out every messy, aching detail. The apology note, how he knew it was you who told Hermione about the ring, how he had broken up with her because he said he needed you.

When you finished, there was a long silence.

Finally, Hannah exhaled softly. “Y/n… I think he means it.”

Your heart thudded painfully. “What?”

“I mean, the way he looks at you... even I can tell he's in love, and I don't give half a fuck about that bastard. You know I’m not his biggest fan, but… it’s different now. He’s different. Dare I say he's changed.” Hannah say's incredulously.

“He said he didn’t care about Hermione anymore. That he missed me. That he-” you stopped, your throat tightening. “That he loves me.” you say in a smaller voice, almost hoping Hannah didn't fully hear you.

Hannah's jaw dropped, clearly taken aback. “He said that? Oh my gosh Y/n!!!” She's in full excitement panic mode from the revelation slamming a pillow into the bed repeatedly as you grimace. "Y/n the dude hasn't talked you properly in weeks then suddenly says he loves you? Zach hasn't even been able to say it to me its been months."

You nodded, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. "But I feel terrible I mean obviously I didn't say it back- but like I straight out dismissed his feelings, said that I was with Chris now. It didn't matter what he felt."

She quickly stopped her little freak out episode as she realised how genuinely overwhelmed you were by the situation. She reached over and took your hand gently.

“Listen to me, okay? You don’t have to make any decisions tonight. You’ve got Chris, and he’s good to you, just let it play out, whatever happens; happens.”

“But he said he loves me, Hannah...” you said weakly, the words barely leaving your mouth.

“Do you still love him?” she asked softly.

There was silence for a few minutes, neither of you daring to speak.

"I don't know but I wish I could just pretend it didn't happen. Just store it away in a safe and never unlock it again" you admit quietly.

“But you’re trying to bury something that’s still alive. And one day, it’s gonna dig itself back up.”

You stared at the afternoon sun creeping through the curtain slits. The room was warm, but your chest felt hollow.

“I hate this,” you whispered. “I hate that I still care.”

“I know you do,” Hannah said, squeezing your hand tighter. “But that's just you y/n, you always care.”

You laughed through the ache, leaning into her shoulder. “When did you get so wise?”

“When I started dating an idiot,” she quipped, earning a tired giggle from you both.

The room fell quiet again just the faint crackle of the fire and the soft hum of the castle outside.

“I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, breaking the silence.

“Don't do anything then.” Hannah simply stated. “Just breathe for now. Let things happen. The right people always find their way back to you.” She held your head as you leaned into her shoulder comforting you.

"Thank you bestie. For being there for me." You whispered vulnerably, grateful that you had her with you.

You didn’t notice the faint shuffle of footsteps outside your door.

---

Chris had been standing there for longer than he meant to. Flowers in one hand, a folded Gryffindor jersey and a golden Quidditch ticket in the other. He’d come to surprise you with front row seats to watch the next finals that he was playing, to make you smile after the stressful week. He hadn’t meant to listen. But then he heard his name.

And Draco’s.

Your voice carried softly through the crack in the door, every word slicing through him like glass. He said it was me all along. He said he loves me.

Chris froze. For a second, he thought maybe he’d misheard. But he listened on.

“But he said he loves me, Hannah…”

“Do you still love him?”

Silence.

The painful silence confirming every fear he’d ever buried.

You still loved Draco.

He felt his throat tighten, eyes burning with something he didn’t want to name. The flowers trembled in his grip before he slowly lowered them to his side as they slip slightly from his grip.

He didn’t storm off. He wasn’t that kind of person. He just stood there, letting the ache sink in. It was the kind of betrayal that didn’t come from lies, but from truth. And he definitely didn't expect to feel betrayed by you.

When you finally stopped talking, he took one long breath, forcing his heartbeat to steady. Then he fixed his expression plastering a forced smile, cleared his voice, and knocked on the door.

The sound made you and Hannah jump.

“Come in” you called softly, glancing at Hannah before the door opened and you beamed, happy to see another familiar face after all the events of the week. "Chris" you simply say his name in relief, utter relief.

He smiled, or at least, he tried to. “Hey, y/n” he said, holding out the bouquet. His tone was gentle “Thought you could use some flowers. And… front-row seats to tomorrow’s match.”

Your heart melted at the gesture. You threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. He hugged you back, but didn't go in for a kiss as he usually did when he first saw you.

You noticed. 

"Are you alright? You seem tense?" you ask him worriedly, holding his shoulders as you pull away and scan his figure.

"Yeah I'm just tired" He chuckles "Y'know, big match tomorrow"

You embrace him and sooth him by running your hand along his back in a repeated motion. "You'll do amazing, you do every year when Gryffindor and Slytherin battle it out in the finals. And I'll be there".

To Chris, your arms still felt like home, and that was the worst part. The scent of your hair, the warmth of your voice when you said his name it all made the ache in his chest twist even tighter. Because for the first time since you’d started dating, he realized he wasn’t the one in your thoughts.

And in that moment, Chris promised himself.

He’d never let Draco Malfoy take something from him again.

---

a/n: Omygosh guys I feel so bad for Chris, but yk we gotta do what we gotta do. The reader obv ends up with Draco so he was going to get heartbroken eventually:( Side note- really glad I gave the reader and Hannah some bestie bonding time hehe

Guys!!! Be excited the next chapter is one of my FAVSSS. It hurts in all the right ways. follow and like to stay updated and all followers will be added to my taglist:) Comments keep me going so lmk what you thought of this <3333

---

You and Chris are the new talk of the town, everyone is gossiping about it. The common Hufflepuff with the Gryffindor quidditch star.

You can't help but think that it's a nice change of atmosphere, unlike before when everyone used to talk about Hermione and Draco. Now they were kind of just... there, but there was no need to talk about them, they were old news.

Although you still felt that sting in the back of your mind whenever you saw Draco, you like being with Chris, he was kind of like the perfect boyfriend. 

He would take you on special dates to the gardens, or to Hogsmeade, you two would have alone time in the Gryffindor common rooms after his trainings on Thursdays, and he would take you to each of his games and give you his sweater to wear, showing you off to all his mates that you were his.

The last month felt productive. It was like everything was slowly falling into place like you wished, and for the better too.

Zach and Hannah finally confessed to each other, and now they were the cutest couple ever. You heard that Daphne was talking to Theo, and it meant that she had more tea to tell you about him every Friday. And of course just everything in general was going great, you hadn't thought about Draco at all, but he was always somewhere in the back of your mind.

Why couldn't you just forget about him?

What made it more difficult now was that there was a small rumour spreading, that you had heard from multiple people; Draco and Hermione were on the verge of breaking up. 

You had mostly heard it from Astoria, which was why you were a little bit skeptical about it. She tends to lie straight through her teeth, especially if it has anything to do with Draco.

---

"Hey y/n"

You hear a quiet whisper behind you as you're sitting in the library listening to music as you are studying. You turn around to see Hermione standing there looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh.... hey Hermione, what's up?" You questioned

"I need some advice from you. You were the first person I thought to talk to." She admitted shyly. "Draco talks about you a lot and I wanted to ask some things"

"Yeah no, of course go ahead." 

You weren't really sure why she was talking to you specifically or why she decided to bring up that Draco was talking about you. It did leave a sinking feeling in your stomach though, as if things were about to get ugly.

Hermione took a seat next to you.

"I don't know if you've heard but uh... me and Draco are going through a rough patch right now and I think it's my fault."

"Is it okay to ask what happened?"

"Well you know he doesn't like Harry and Ron, but they're my best friends and I have a hard time choosing who to spend my time with. He got upset at me the other day because I accidentally was late for one of our dates... and well he hasn't seemed to forgive me since then. What do I do?"

Part of you wanted to give the shittiest advice, ruin them from the inside out. But you were too nice.

" I say you make it up to him, gift him with some of his favourite things." You say hesitantly.

"That's what I was thinking, but I don't really know what he likes. Remember when you two used to hang out a lot? Did he say anything" she asks shyly.

Your heart ached. It sent you back to when you and Draco had those late night talks and snacks. When he seemed like he actually cared.

"Mmm he liked walnut and coffee muffins, and he always talked about wanting one of those new collectible silver rings, they're pretty expensive though." You said deep in thought, trying to recall what kind he was talking about. "I think he doesn't have the third edition and he wanted the whole collection... kept ranting about it" I chuckle dryly, my heart stinging a little as I thought about it, and how much we used to talk.

"Ohh! That's perfect! I'll get his initial's carved into it too to make it more special. Thank you so much y/n!"

And she was gone just like that.

"You're welcome." You said quietly and continued.

---

The next day you were exhausted. You couldn't sleep for some reason and studying til 12am just before curfew didn't help. 

As you were walking to transfigurations with Hannah you caught a glimpse of Draco and Hermione together.

He was wearing the ring.

Except he still didn't look happy, it looked as if something was bothering him, like there was some piece of him that just wasn't satisfied.  

Hermione, all giddy, was grabbing onto his hand as he tried to shake her off. His eyes looked tired, pleading. As they drifted up they caught sight of you and his gaze softened, maybe not on purpose but it was noticeable.

Hannah walked off to be with Zach and you were left alone waiting to enter the classroom. Looking down at your shoes you wondered about nonsense; interrupted by footsteps. You looked up to see a pair of warm blue eyes piercing yours. You flinched as you were not expecting him to be so close.

"Malfoy." You greeted.

"Y/n don't be like that... I just- I feel like I haven't seen you in ages." He sighed.

"Well we both have our own things to worry about now" you say dismissively.

"Yeah but-" he was cut off by Professor McGonagall unlocking the door to the classroom and ushering kids inside. Nevertheless Draco managed to sneak a small note in your hand before leaving.

God that smell, his smell. That intoxicating poison. You wanted to drown in it, but then you remembered Chris. 

You realised that nothing would go back to the way it was, and it would be impossible now to be with him even if things worked out. You were just too different.

You opened the palm of your hand to see the small crumpled note. Walking slowly into class, you opened it to reveal small neat writing.

'Meet me under our tree tonight after curfew, I need to talk to you. - D.M.' 

You sigh. Their tree, the willow tree that they've come to know and love, where so many memories were made together. He's probably still wondering why you stood him up that day, even though it was ages ago. 

You probably shouldn't ...

But you want to.

---

The window is ajar, the lights turned on, and the room a mess after pillow fighting with Hannah and Daphne. The three of you are laughing your heads off when a knock interrupts your child play.

You walk over to the door and open it before lips crash onto yours and arms wrap around your waist. 

After a while you pull back and giggle, eyes locking with the beautiful hazel green ones before you. 

"Hi Chris" you laugh, amused at his greeting.

"Hey baby." He smiles "Lucky I got the right girl because I didn't even look, I just assumed you were going to open the door" he chuckles as you playfully slap his chest. You could hear Daphne and Hannah giggling in the back.

Two seconds later you feel a hard blow to your head, and laughing follows. You and Chris both grab pillows and start fighting with Daphne and Hannah when a large chime vibrates through the castle, stunning all of you.

"What the fuck was that?" Daphne says in shock.

"It's McGonagalls new safety measure to remind all the students about the curfew " Chris groans as he rubs his head. "Well I better get going then, she might lose her balls if she finds out I'm in a girls dormitory" you laugh as you pull him in closer.

"You can't leave me here" you whine, but he just lifts your chin and kisses you to stop you.

"I'll see you in the morning baby, goodnight" he says sweetly as he leaves the room and you close the door.

"You guys are way too cute I swear" says Hannah.

You blush, "Yeah, but so are you and Zach". She blushes in return. "What about you Daph, how are things with Theo?"

She looks away sheepishly, "I actually have to go meet him... like right now. I don't know if it's a date or not" she tries to hide a smile but fails.

"Awhhh Daphne! You guys will be adorable together" Hannah squeals, "We can have triple dates if everything works out!"

The three of you chatter in excitement together then finally escort Daphne out so she can go meet her man. But then you realised, you have someone to meet too. And of course you have to tell Hannah.

"Hannah" you whisper as you two start getting ready for bed "I need to meet with Draco tonight"

"What? I thought you were cutting off all ties with him? What would Chris say! Chris hates his guts!" she says in a worried tone.

Hearing Chris's name brought back your consciousness, and it made everything hurt a bit more .

"I don't know Hannah but he said it was important... I'll tell you everything afterwards" you don't let her say another word before you leave the room and start walking towards your favourite willow tree.

---

"You're here earlier than I expected." You hear a deep voice come closer as you're sitting on the bench. "Then again, I wasn't sure you would show up at all" he chuckled dryly while taking a seat next to you.

"Hi Draco" you sighed.

There it was again, his name falling off your lips, just the way he wanted. His voice got a bit stuck in his throat and his heart was beating slightly faster. 

He almost seemed nervous.

"What is it that was so important?" You question.

"Y/n" he starts off, taking a deep breath "I ended things with Hermione" 

Your throat goes dry and your mouth gapes slightly. How was that possible? They were like the perfect couple.

"How is that possible? You guys were like the perfect couple." You think out loud.

" No y/n we weren't perfect, it was only from the surface. I thought that she was everything that I wanted but I slowly learned that... maybe she was more stuck up than me." He looked away shamefully. " And she would always try fix our relationship like I was some naive puppy, give me gifts and hope that I would just comply."

"You didn't like her gifts?"

"I liked them" he said quietly, looking down at the ring wrapped around his finger and twisting it absent mindedly "But I know it's not from her, you're the only person I told about this ring y/n. You're the only person who knew I wanted it."

Your eyes widen in realisation.

"Y/n I broke up with her because I realised I was chasing the wrong person. She didn't care if I felt okay, or whether I smiled, she just wanted me there." he looked lost, like a little boy with no home. " And if I'm being completely honest y/n, I really missed us hanging out every night."

"Draco... part of it was my fault too, I didn't realise you were hurting and I shouldn't have avoided you... I just wanted to keep distance because you were with Hermione." You said feeling guilty, you were on the verge of tears, and he noticed.

"Y/n." He said gently, holding both your hands. "Don't cry please, I'm okay. I just wanted to tell you that I don't care about her anymore because I have you."

"What?" You were pulled out of your guilt and placed into panic. What was he doing?

"Y/n I have you. I've always had you and I don't know why I don't notice sooner that it was you." He shifted nervously in his spot, waiting for you to say something.

"What are you saying Draco?" You say skeptically, hoping he didn't mean what he said.

"I broke up with Hermione for you. I want to be with you y/n, I realised that I hated being away from you, and that I was missing a piece of me when you weren't there. And I feel so stupid for not realising it sooner and telling you, because now everything seems different." He sighs and looks down at both of your hands held together. "I don't know if I'm delusional to think that some part of you feels the same way." 

He looks up at you with pleading eyes. Never in your life would you have thought that the Draco Malfoy would be here confessing in the most unlikely way possible. Yet here was this beautiful boy in front of you, icy hair, baby blue eyes, perfectly sculpted face, the school heartthrob. It was the right person, wrong time.

"Draco I can't." You cry, feeling your heart ache because even if you wanted to you couldn't. "If only you had told me sooner... everything's different now. I have Chris, and I can't just end things with him. He has never wronged me" 

Tears were streaming down your face as you felt overwhelmed. Draco's strong arms wrapped around you and he held you to his chest while rubbing your back gently. You felt safe, comfortable, more comfortable than you should be.

"Y/n don't cry, I already told you. I just wish that you could be mine, that loving you wasn't wrong."

Usually that line would give you butterflies, but right now you felt sick. You felt disgusting, for falling for two amazing guys at once.

"Draco I'm sorry" you say while sniffling. "Please don't hate me." 

He holds you protectively while hushing your cries.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you." He tells you as he rocks you gently to sleep.

"I hate him."

---

a/n: Gosh I haven't written for this series in agessss, I had two possible outcomes for this next chapter but I ultimately stuck to this one because I think it makes more sense for the way the storyline is going to continue.

I really liked the other one too!!! It was going to be super angsty and wayyy more drama than this one, and i lowk feel like not posting it went to waste:( If you guys want to know what the alternate 'reality' was going to be I might post it as a oneshot later! But let me know in the comments:))

@secretfangirl154 @missshrimpy @brosuckballsss @fakeblondsworld @mysticcheesecakepost-blog1 @fredj-weasley @winter-solstice24 @artvoyager @lafrone @rafeecameronsbitch @thomascigarette @metalarmedobsession @dannaae @tnhanson11-blog @harrysolaf @celesteblac @kalpal-03 @lizlovell @am0iur @avhfvhhfdhn @yourchaoticbitchneighbor @amaliarosewood @bjaw2317 @classymesstuff009 @amongstthehollows

Draco Malfoy is the school fuckboy, everyone knew that, especially all the girls in your year.

You didn't know how, but Draco had managed to fuck just about every girl in your year, and a few of the girls in the year below. You supposed it was due to his charms and charisma, I mean he was unarguably attractive if he wasn't such a dick.

Draco had a new girl clinging onto his arm every other day, meaning every other day he had successfully managed to get another new girl in his bed, and he did it all with a smirk plastered on his face. 

From what you heard he was a sex warrior, he would have you on your knees, begging for more, he would make you feel good in all the right places, and he would certainly get you cumming more than once in one night.

You didn't really understand why every girl was begging to be in his bed, especially because so many of them complain about the lack of aftercare he provides. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to care, why would he? He gets a new girl every week, so why would he need to care about any of them when he has an entire line of them waiting? After all, he only uses them for his own pleasure. Once he finishes, nothing else matters.

You had heard of Draco's infamous rules during his sex sessions, I mean he only had one to keep the girls in line. 

No kissing. 

He believed that it only led to impractical feelings of love, which was useless to him. You were sure he had fucked more girls than he had kissed, which was a tiny bit disturbing to you.

You couldn't deny, he was very good looking, and you always had wondered what he would be like in bed. There was always one thing stopping you. The thing is you've never had sex before, yes, you're a virgin; and you wanted your first time to be special and meaningful with a guy who loves you. You didn't really want to lose your virginity to a guy who has shagged every girl in the room.

You scanned the room and looked at every girl currently sitting in your divinations class. You could probably bet a couple million dollars that every one of them had been in Draco's bed at some point of their time at Hogwarts. It disgusted you. Even Hermione at some point confessed to you that she had slept with him, which took you by surprise as you always thought she had better judgement.

Chatter was heard through the classroom as you all waited for the second bell to ring, signaling the start of first period.

You looked up at the doorway, waiting for your friend Marie to come and occupy the empty seat beside you. You had been waiting for about ten minutes in class looking at the doorway waiting for her to walk in.

As you continued staring at the doorframe, a familiar head of blonde hair appeared in the doorway, you knew exactly who it was, and you groaned at the sight of him. For the past few weeks he had been trying to convince you to get into his sheets because apparently he had 'already fucked every girl', and you were the last one he needed to complete his list. You watched him with disgust filled eyes as he once again had another girl hanging off his arm, Astoria. He had already slept with Astoria before, but you guessed he was going for second rounds since he had nobody new to fuck.

Draco and Astoria sat down in the two seats behind you and you tried to ignore the fact that he was probably smirking at you from behind.

"So darling, have you considered my offer?" He said in a cocky but soft tone.

A few days ago he had made you on offer. Your friend Amelia had told him about how apprehensive you were in having sex for the first time, so he came up to you to give you a deal. I guess he took that as an opportunity to finally tick you off his list of girls he's slept with since you were probably the last one. He told you that if you did decide to sleep with him, he would be gentle since he knew it was your first time. At first you gave him a glare because you didn't buy that Draco would ever be gentle or soft, but he seemed so sincere about it. He was so adamant on it that now, you were considering the option. I mean you were probably the only virgin girl in your year and it was quite embarrassing to some extent. But at the same time you were a bit grossed out about losing it to the school fuckboy.

But surely if he promised to be gentle, everything would be alright?

"Draco I told you I'm not very enthusiastic about losing my virginity to the school player" you deadpanned as you turned to face him. "Plus I want to have it with someone who will treat me well"

"I told you I'll be gentle. I know it's your first time"

"Draco that's not what I meant. Someone who will treat me well and not throw me away after one use"

"But darling it will benefit the both of us. You will have the time of your life and I can tick you off my list-"

"See Draco that's exactly what I mean. I'm a person, not a checkbox. I want to matter to someone is that too much to ask? Now shove off."

You were annoyed at him. Could he not see that girls wanted to be treated like people and not trophies? 

"Y/n that's not what I meant I-, just give me a chance I promise I will make it memorable for you. You're not a checkbox you're right, but I do just really want to give you a wonderful first experience." He admitted as he looked into your eyes softly.

He was very convincing. Scarily convincing. Maybe it was because you were a little bit desperate, maybe it was the embarrassment kicking in, but you were considering his offer more and more. You just didn't want to be another one of his girls.

Draco on the other hand wasn't lying. He did want to give you a memorable and pleasurable first time. But he would never force it on you, even if he wanted you so badly. He didn't know why he was so drawn to you or so desperate to get you to fall for him, maybe it was because you were different. Maybe it was because you didn't give into him, like all the other girls. It was your attitude and your morals, that drove his feelings towards you. If he didn't know any better he would have thought he had maybe a slight crush on you. He couldn't deny that he had thoughts and dreams about you, not just sexually, but simple and sweet things, like holding your hand on a date to Hogsmeade, kissing your lips before he goes to sleep, hugging you when you needed his support. He would never admit it though, that he was falling for you . 

Of course he didn't just want sex with you for some stupid list, he just had to tell you that because he didn't want anyone thinking that he had fallen for a girl who would only deny his every offer. He wanted to be your first because he didn't want someone else to be, and it was selfish, so utterly selfish of him, but he wanted to be the first one to elicit those beautiful sounds from your mouth, he wanted to be the first one to make love to you, he wanted to set the standards high. He wanted to make sure to treat you like a princess, he wanted you to know that you meant so much more to him than a stupid list.

But he was a coward, he could never tell you that, he could never tell you that he only fucked other girls to satisfy his love lust for you. Pretty much every girl he ever screwed was only to get his mind off you, and more times than not, he would imagine you as the girl anyway.

---

Draco was doing some potions homework when he heard a frantic knock on his door. The advantages of being a prefect was having a dorm to himself, which was why Draco usually got away with having so many girls in his room.

"What the fuck" he mumbled to himself. It was 7pm, everyone should be at dinner, why would someone disturb him at this time?

He walked up to the door and opened it only to find you standing there playing with the hems of your hoodie looking nervous. 

His eyes softened at the sight of you. 

"What are you doing here y/n?" He asked with a gentle voice.

"uh-" you looked down at your feet. You had skipped dinner because you were feeling hot, as in horny, and as much as you tried pleasuring yourself, you couldn't help but think that Draco could do it better. You had decided to take that offer, but you weren't sure how much you'd regret it later. " your-your offer, I was thinking about it, and I think I want to do it, with you " you stuttered a bit embarrassed.

Draco stared at your nervous figure with wide eyes. Was this really happening? He saw your hot and bothered body and realised that you must be horny, that's why you came to him, but he didn't mind, the girl of his dreams had just confessed that she wanted him to be her very first. He played it cool on the outside when on the inside he was totally freaking. 

"Y-you want to do it? Right now?" He asked a bit surprised. 

"No! I mean yes, I was just feeling horny but if now isn't a good time then-"

"NO- it's okay now is fine, uh just give me like five minutes okay..." he was definitely freaking out now, what was wrong with him? He's so experienced, why is he all of a sudden feeling nervous and doubtful about his own sexual abilities?

He shut the door in your face suddenly and you were confused and a bit hurt. 

Behind the doors though, Draco was a mess. 

"She wants me to fuck her? Gosh what if I'm not good enough for her first time, what if I hurt her?" He was making a mess out of himself as he set up his room to set a sensual atmosphere. He charmed some rose scented candles and placed them around the bed, and he casted spells to litter the floor and bed with flower petals. He dimmed the lights and panicked a little bit before composing himself and opening the door again, not wanting to keep you waiting too long. 

"Draco uhm, I was thinking this probably isn't a good time, and you're not ready either, so uh-"

"No y/n it's okay I just set up the room for us... unless you are changing your mind about things, then that's completely okay I don't want to pressure you into anything." He trailed off and you peeked into the room. 

You gasped softly and covered your mouth with your hands as you saw the romantic layout of Draco's bedroom. It looked very beautiful. Draco watched your expression and smiled at you, his stomach always did flips whenever he saw you happy.

"Do you do this for every girl?" You asked, a bit hopeful that he had done this as a special thing for you. 

"Oh... Yeah definitely" Of course he didn't do this for anyone else, he just wanted your first time to be really special and to make sure you enjoyed every second of it. 

You grew a bit disappointed with his answer, but what were you expecting? He probably didn't see you more than another girl he could seduce into his bed. 

Draco took your hand gently and led you into the room. The scent of roses filled your nose and you smiled. Draco's heart was beating fast as he started to realise that this wasn't just a dream and that you were really about to do this with him. That you trusted him. 

You grew nervous as you saw that he had already stood in front of the bed and started to take off his shirt. Maybe you weren't ready for this.

"Darling, are you okay?" Draco checked on you, as his now shirtless figure came closer to yours. You fiddled with the sleeves of your hoodie as you looked anywhere but his toned body.

"Uhm, yeah. I-I just- I don't know how ready I feel about this" you hesitated, as you finally looked into his concerned and worry filled eyes. 

"Y/n, like I said you don't need to feel pressured about anything. We don't have to do anything at all if you don't feel like you are ready. I-I don't want you doing something with me that you will regret." he reassured you.

"No, it's not like that. I mean I'm sure if we do this, it will feel good... I'm just, inexperienced you know?" you sighed as you sat on his bed and played with some of the rose petals. "I-I don't know the first thing about sex, what noises are okay to make, how painful it will be, how to position my arms or my legs, how to make sure that it's not just me having a good time." getting it off your chest felt good for once. 

"Y/n, this is about you not me. You don't have to worry about how to position yourself, I'll take care of that. And you don't have to worry about me having a good time, today is about you, but I assure you I will definitely enjoy myself. You don't need to worry about being too loud, or too quiet, it just matters that you're comfortable. And if you find it too painful, or if you are starting to regret things, then do not be afraid to tell me to stop. I will." Draco sat down next to you and grabbed your hand as he stroked in with his thumb. 

You looked up at him and realised that he was so much more caring than he let other people see. He looked back at you and scanned your eyes for any discomfort, but he only saw admiration. 

"Thank you Draco, I-I feel a bit better now" you said, feeling your cheeks heating up.

"It's okay y/n, is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable before we start?" He asked, he wanted to make sure your first time was perfect.

"I- I wouldn't know, I've never done anything like this before" you said nervously.

"Okay... I'll do my thing and just tell me, please tell me, if you feel uncomfortable at any point. I will stop immediately. You have the upper hand, you have the control." he stated as he slowly stood up in front of you, signalling for you to also stand up.

You whispered a small 'okay' and stood there awkwardly, unsure of Draco's next move.

He began to move his hands to the hem of your hoodie, playing around with it before asking for your permission to take it off. He was more than pleased to see you wearing nothing but a bra underneath. 

"Stunning my love, you're beautiful" he whispered in your ear as his hands found their way to your back, finding the clip of your bra. You blushed as you heard the unclipping of your bra, and your breath hitched as the cold air hit your breasts. 

"You alright y/n? Do you want me to stop?" He asked softly, as he tried to resist the urge to look down at your chest.

"I'm okay" you whispered breathlessly "Please keep going Draco" he loved the way his name rolled off your lips. 

He motioned for you to lie down on the bed, and you obeyed, your heart beating fast as he threw your black laced bra somewhere behind him.

He crawled on top of you, sweatpants still on, and he lowered himself until his face was at the crook of your neck. You felt his hot breath at your collar bone before he started placing small kisses upwards and towards your jawline. Your hands made their way to his blonde hair, and started pulling gently, making him groan. You held back a moan as he started sucking on the spot that made you feel oh so amazing. 

"Darling, don't hold back, I'd love to hear your noises" he reassured you, as he moved on of his hands down to your waist as the other held his body up. 

You let out a few moans as he continued marking your neck. He brought his hand away from your waist and towards your chest, as he grasped at one of our breasts, toying with your sensitive nipple. You arched your back, pressing your lower body against his, allowing you to feel just how hard he was. He groaned in response and settled between your legs, gently grinding his clothed member against your core. 

He moved his lips away from your neck and attached his lips to your left breast, his hand still kneading your right one. He sucked gently on it, his tongue playing with your perked nipple. You whimpered at the new sensation, it was unfamiliar, a bit odd, but it sure did feel good.

Draco loved seeing you in this state, in such a pleasured and needy state. He wanted nothing more than to just take you right then and there, but he wanted to go slow with you. Take his time. 

He slowly separated himself from your body as he stood up, taking a second to admire the sight before him. You looked so beautiful to him, so perfect, he wanted to have every inch of you to himself. 

"Fuck" He whispered, growing hard at the sight of you beneath him.

Draco's fingers slowly made their way down to the waistband of your sweatpants, playing with the material for a little bit, before pulling low enough to see the lace of your panties.

"May I?" he whispered gently.

"Yes" you nodded, feeling yourself become hot at your core, his fingers so close, yet so far from where you wanted them to be.

He swiftly pulled your pants and your laced underwear off in one movement and let them fall to the floor as he stared at you glistening pussy. He spread your legs apart more and placed his body in front of your dripping core, staring at it for a few seconds that felt like hours. 

You felt his warm breathing tickle your core, as you shivered at the feeling. 

"You're so perfect y/n, so beautiful. So wet for me aren't you?" he teased you. You breathed shakily as you screwed your eyes shut.

You suddenly felt a pair of lips attacking your clit, making a loud moan escapes your lips. You feel his grip on your legs tighten as he hears you moan his name continuously. God he loves the way you make him feel.

His tongue makes its way to your entrance as he fucks you with his tongue, his nose nudging gently on your clit, increasing the pleasure. Your hands made their way back into his blonde hair, as you gently tugged from the roots. You earned a moan from him in response, sending vibrations straight to your core. You whimpered at the feeling.

"Does this feel okay darling? Does it feel nice?" he cooed as he continued working on your pussy. You nodded in response.

"Words darling, I need words" he said, as he circled your clit with his tongue. 

"Y-yes Draco, fuck yes, it feels amazing~" you moaned breathily. You felt him smile against your core, before he shoved a finger into your hole. 

You winced in discomfort, earning a worried look from Draco as he removed his finger and moved away so his face met yours. He looked at you worriedly, checking your face for any signs of regret.

"What's wrong y/n? I'm so sorry did I hurt you? Oh fuck I didn't mean to" He babbled, you just looked at him awkwardly.

"No, no you didn't hurt me, i-it's just it felt weird. I can't even fit a tampon in there without it feeling uncomfortable, I don't know how it's supposed to feel... pleasurable" you admitted. He looked relieved for a second, knowing that he hadn't hurt you. 

"Well darling, like I said it's perfectly normal to be nervous or uncomfortable, and we don't have to do anything else. I can promise you though, that it will feel pleasurable, I'll make sure of that."

You nodded in response, just looking at him with wide eyes as he traced his fingers back to your dripping core.

"Do you want me to continue? We can stop whenever" he cooed gently.

You nodded, as you grabbed his hand and placed it in on your heat. He chucked at your neediness as he hovered above you and played with your wetness. He gently inched a finger into your hole, as you made faces of discomfort. Draco took notice and leaned in to kiss at your neck, as he continued thrusting his long finger in and out at a slow pace.

The discomfort slowly subsided as he kept thrusting his finger in and out. It slowly turned into pleasure as he ever so slightly curled his finger to reach those lovely spots inside of you. 

You moaned quietly, earning a smirk from Draco as he buried his face into your neck. He dragged his finger out, making you whimper, then he slides two fingers in. The discomfort comes back, and Draco notices your change in expression. He leans down and captures your lips in a kiss, a sweet one, distracting you from the pain and discomfort.

Taken aback, you widen your eyes, but you slowly melt into the kiss, tugging at his hair and pulling him closer to you. You feel yourself getting hotter, and a coil start to tighten in your stomach. Draco feels you clench around his fingers, and he kisses you deeper, his thumb playing with your clit, increasing the pleasure. 

It doesn't take long before you cum all over his fingers, moans and whimpers being muted by Draco's lips.

You're still shaking as you come down from your high, legs spasming and eyes rolled back.

"Good girl, you did so well" Draco hushed in your ear, before bringing himself down to your pussy to taste your sweetness. You moaned as he continued to eat out your sensitive cunt, as he held you down gently with his large hand.

"Did you like that darling?" he asked, as he came to your face and kissed below your ear.

"Yeah, that- that was really good." you breathed out. He smiled and kissed you, you could feel his heart beating so fast. Gosh he wanted nothing but to please you.

"Draco..." You moaned into the kiss, making butterflies erupt in his stomach at the sound of his name rolling off your lips. "Draco, I need you" 

His breath hitched and he looked into your eyes, only to see pure lust and neediness. 

"Anything for you darling" He said, as he smirked and kicked his sweatpants off. You saw a large tent in his boxers, leaving you more aroused than ever, and you palmed his erection through the thin fabric.

"Don't." He warned, "Today is all about you darling" He removed his boxers before bringing himself between your legs and lining himself up with your entrance. 

"Y/n, please tell me you're 100% sure about this. I-" he looked away, scared to face your beautiful eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, and I definitely don't want you to do something with me that you will regret. I can't stress that enough" He said.

"Draco, there's no one I know who is more experienced than you, please make me feel good." you whispered quietly. 

He nodded. "Your wish is my command" he replied, "Just know that I'm so honoured to be here with you right now, doing this, making you feel good." 

You grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down to your face, kissing him so he would stop ranting. He smiled into the kiss, his heart felt so complete. He moved to your neck once again, not kissing it, just breathing you in, and feeling you. 

His tip nudged at your entrance in the process. He grabs his length in his hand tapping it against your core, sliding the silky tip between your folds and over your sensitive clit, making you shiver with pleasure.

"Please Draco" You shuddered in anticipation. "I need you".

That was all he needed, to hear you tell him that you needed him. 

He lifted himself off of you and shifted closer to your lower body. He spread his tip over your folds collecting your wetness as a lubricant.

"Darling this will hurt" he warned with a slow nod. "I'll go slow for you I promise." he firmly reassured you.

You nodded eagerly, gripping his shoulders as heat spread across your face. You were about to do this, with the school player. He stifled a moan as he slowly pushed his tip into your core. He was right. It hurt. And he was probably not even an inch in. You winced as he continued to push himself in, his eyes watching your face carefully for any sign of pain. 

About three inches in and the pain worsens. You frown slightly, as you try and handle the pain. Draco's eyes are screwed shut, focusing hard on not making any noises of pleasure while you're in pain. He opens his eyes to see your face contorting in pain, so he moves his hand down to your clit and tries to distract you. You heart flutters as you feel his breath near you ear, small grunts coming from his throat as he pushes deeper and deeper into you. 

The pain and the pleasure slowly start to even out as Draco pushes himself all the way in. He freezes in place once he's all the way in, lifting himself to see the beautiful sight in front of him. You look gorgeous, curves and all, small beauty spots, messy hair, the best part is he's deep inside of you~

"Shit" He curses. "You're beautiful darling, you know that? Absolutely perfect." 

You feel his cold silver rings press on your skin as he grips your waist tightly. He drags himself out of you slowly, before pushing back in. You moan slightly at the friction, flicking a switch in Draco. He repositions his hands beside your face and holds his body above yours, before he starts rocking his hips into yours at a faster pace. 

"Oh darling, you feel so wonderful" he moaned, watching your eyes roll back as he slowed his pace. "You're so beautiful y/n, oh fuck".

He was already out of breath. He was Draco fucking Malfoy, and he was already getting tired during sex, when usually he could go on for hours. Or maybe it was just you. You made his world spin, you made him feel like he had something to prove, you made him feel grounded. 

He loses himself in you as he continues to slowly thrust his hips against yours. A loud involuntary moan escapes your lips as his cock hits a wonderful spot inside of you, pulling Draco back to his senses.

You moan as he angles his hips to keep hitting that spot inside you. He wants to hear those beautiful sounds from your mouth, steal them with his kisses. 

His breathing becomes laboured as he feels himself getting close, he can no longer hold himself up, something about you makes him feel like he's gravitating towards you. 

He stops his movements for a second, lowering his body onto yours, skin on skin, his face at your neck, as he slithers his arms underneath your waist. He feels this love, aching love, as you run your fingers down his back. 

"Draco" you whisper, but it's not needy, it's loving. "Draco~" You feel this love, this warmth all down your chest as you feel Draco's arms wrapped protectively around your waist, and his dick deep inside you, you don't want to let him go, ever. You bring your hands up and into his hair, twisting short pieces around your fingers, making him breathe harder.

Your heartbeats against each other, you had never felt so connected with someone before.

He slowly draws himself out of you, and slams in sloppily. The pace is slow, but it feels oh so good, like he's not just having sex with you - he's making love to you. He sighs heavily as he feels himself getting close.

"Baby, I'm so close, I-I don't know how much longer I can last." his breath hitched in his throat as he felt you squeeze around him. He looks down to your face, smiling as he sees your expression distorted in pleasure, eyes screwed shut, mouth open, hair perfectly messy.

He uses his last bit of strength to angle himself at a better position, hitting all the right spots inside of you.

"Oh~ Draco please" he hears you moan out his name, and it's almost enough to push him over the edge. "Fuck- Draco I'm cumming" He smiles, leaning back down to kiss your lips as he feels your orgasm wash over you. 

He breaks the kiss and throws his head back as he spills himself into you. Groans are heard echoing across the room as he thrusts a few more times before stilling inside of you. 

The two of you stay like that for a bit, Draco kissing at your neck, whispering praises in your ear as your eyes start feeling heavy with sleep.

He pulls out of you and you whimper slightly, missing the feeling of being full, full of him. 

Draco smiles as he looks to your pussy, a mixture of his and your cum seeping out, and he uses his thumb to gently push it back into your delicate hole as he cleans up the mess the two of you have made.

"Draco" you whisper, arms out signalling for him to come and cuddle you.

He chuckles, and scoops you up into his arms, pulling his emerald green sheets over your naked figures. 

The cold touch of the duvets against your hot skin feels wonderful, like taking a cold shower after a run.

You hold onto Draco's muscular body, as you feel his arms circle around you and pull you closer. You run your hands through his hair, still registering the activities you had just submitted to with this boy. 

You stare at him for while longer, before he leans into you, stealing your lips with a kiss. As if instinctual, you pull him closer into the kiss, craving the feeling of his mouth against yours. 

That's when it hits you.

No kissing.

It didn't make sense, it was Draco fucking Malfoy. His number one rule was no kissing. Expect for right now, he's doing the exact opposite. You don't know if you feel happy, or upset.

You feel like you're being played.

Why would he kiss you to lead you on, only to throw you away after one use like all the other girls. Why would he kiss you like he meant it when you knew he didn't. 

You break the kiss, not saying a word.

"Darling? Y/n are you okay?" He asked sincerely.

Silence.

"Did... Did you not like it?" he started to panic slightly. "Fuck. Y/n I-I'm so sorry if you didn't like it. Please tell me you don't regret it." he closed his eyes as if he would open them and realise it was a dream.

"No" you simply said, "Draco it was amazing don't worry. It's just- I just want to go to sleep, I'm so tired"

He sighed in relief. "Of course my love. And I'll be right here holding you when you wake up" He smiled softly at you and kissed your forehead.

Draco had never felt like this before. He had never kissed someone before, at least not the way he kissed you. He was addicted to you, your touch, your lips. He wanted more and more. It's like he couldn't get enough. 

He slowly fell asleep, content, more than content, because he was falling asleep with his world in his arms.

You on the other hand. You felt sick. 

He didn't love you, so why would he try to make you feel so loved. Kiss you, like you were the only one he wanted. Hold you like he never wanted to let go.

After a bit of internal debate, you finally drifted to sleep, but a restless one.

---

You woke up in the embrace of two strong long arms. A familiar scent tickling your nose, and a silky sheet wedged between your legs.

As memories of last night replayed through your mind, you gently wiggled yourself out of Draco's embrace, careful not to wake him. You turn yourself and grab at your phone, 6:06am. 

In any other case you would tell yourself to fall back asleep, but right now, you wanted nothing but to escape this place. 

You couldn't fall in love with the school fuckboy. You couldn't fall in love with Draco.

So what did you do?

You left without a second glance, without a second thought, you just listened to your head telling you that if you ever fell in love with him, he would only discard you like another one of his girls.

---

You enter class the next day, sore and heavy hearted. You take your seat in class, awaiting the embarrassment of having to see Draco again after what the two of you had done last night.

Your eyes darted to the doorframe as you watched a head of blonde hair enter, his eyes were frantically searching the classroom before they softened as they landed on you.

As everyone gaped at Draco, confused as to why for once he didn't have a girl hanging off his arm, Draco's gaze was only upon you; and you hated it.

You felt like the centre of attention, and it made you nauseous.

Draco however, he was worried as to why you left so early in the morning. 

He had been looking forward to you waking up in his arms, and cuddling before going to class together. He started to think that maybe you would never want to see him again because you regretted it.

He quietly walked over to the seat beside you, all eyes focused on the two of you. 

His eyes sparkled as he looked at you, worry, guilt, and relief swirling inside them. You felt your heart ache as you suppressed every urge to kiss him right them and there.

As Draco sat down, he placed his hand on yours under the desk and he gave a small smile, comforting yet it still made you feel sick to the stomach.

Something in your chest told you that this wasn't going to end well.

---

After a long class, the bell finally rung and you abruptly stood up and hurried off to second period.

Draco watched and tried to grab you before you walked away but he was too late, so he ran after you. He needed to tell you, all the things he left unsaid last night.

Your chest tightened, afraid that he might follow you, that you might have to face him when all you wanted to do was focus on anything else.

Your breath hitched as you felt a gentle touch on your shoulder.

"Y/n, please, listen to me"

"What do you want Draco?" you spat out, wanting to escape this conversation. 

"Y/n please I just- I want to know what I did wrong, why did you leave me this morning I thought what we did last night was special.... it was special to me." He said quietly, his words only meant for you to hear and no one else.

"Special? Draco are you hearing yourself? Why are you doing this to me! Toying with my feelings like this" you argued defensively, what kind of audacity did he have to call last night special when you were just another girl to him?

"Toying with your-? What? I'm not toying with your feelings y/n, if anything it feels like you're toying with mine. I gave you my everything last night, my first kiss, my love, my all. And you left me this morning alone I was so worried I had done something wrong. Why would you think I'd be playing with your feelings love?" he was desperate, he needed to know what you were feeling, if you felt the same or if he was fooling himself.

"Draco you play with everyone's feelings, can you really blame me for protecting myself?" you say in a quieter hushed tone as you two pace into an empty classroom closing the door behind you to shield your conversation from unwanted attention. "You- you kissed me, I didn't know what to think, I thought you were messing with me, I couldn't-"

"I kissed you because I love you y/n. It's as simple as that! And I loved every second of kissing you, I loved every second of being near you and I still do. I know you felt it too why can't you just say it back!" He was getting frustrated, for once he was laying his heart out on the floor, and you come and step on it.

"Draco are you crazy. I can't fall in love with the school player! You know how stupid that is?" your voice was laced with toxicity, and you instantly regretted the words as they came out your mouth.

"School player?" he scoffed his heart broken "So that's what you think of me, hah, I get it" He says dejectedly as he walks towards the door reaching for the handle.

"Draco wait- I- You know I didn't mean it like that" you say reaching your arm out to stop him "You're right I felt it too, I felt it in every touch and every heartbeat and it scared me." you say in a small voice, feeling vulnerable as you hang your head down.

"Why were you scared, I would never hurt you." his hand left the door handle and he embraced you resting his chin on your head breathing in the scent of your shampoo. 

"Because it goes against everything I value, you're entire self is nothing like the guy I'd fall for yet I did. And it scared me because I didn't know your true intentions, I didn't know what you wanted from me, and I didn't want my heart to be broken. I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologise- sweetheart why didn't you just tell me that last night, I would've listened I would've reassured you I love you. The only reason I went playing about with other girls is because all this time I knew I couldn't have you and no matter how much I tried nothing could ever satisfy this need I had to be with you" he said sincerely, and you laid your head sideways on his chest his heart against your ear "I want you, more than I can say, please don't be scared of me".

"I'm not scared" you state kissing his neck gently as you tilt your head up "Not anymore. I love you too"

His heart stalled as he heard the words leave your mouth and he dipped his head, his nose nuzzling near your ear "My darling, I want to hear those words come from your mouth for the rest of my life." 

---

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---

You and Chris walk slowly to the Hufflepuff dorms. The dark night engulfed in silence yet the dim lights of the castle illuminating Chris's pale features. His small freckles, his ginger hair, towering figure.

"You don't have to drop me off, you know" you said quietly.

It reminded you of when Draco used to drop you off to your dorm and it made your heart ache.

"No y/n it's my pleasure" he reassured "Are you okay though?"

"What? Yeah of course I'm fine" you said nodding your head. Of course you weren't fine, hearing about Draco and Hermione broke your heart more than you thought, and you just wanted to jump into your bed and cry.

"Y/n, I've known you for 5 years, I know when you aren't okay." he says sternly, worry in his voice.

"Fine, I'm not okay" you sigh

"Y/n tell me, I'm always here when you're upset you know that right?" he said, taking your small hands in his.

"But you're not going to like it..." You said. You didn't like keeping things from Chris, he was one of your closest friends, it's just that you knew he would get upset if he heard that you had been hanging out with Draco secretly, and that you might've been catching feelings for the stupid boy.

"Is it the thing you were going to tell me before? But you said you would tell me later because it was too complicated?" Chris's words recalled your memory. You were supposed to tell him ages ago?

"Okay, I'll tell you." you say. "Let's get to my dorm first"

All of a sudden you feel a strong pair of arms pick you up bridal style and rush to your dorm. You grip onto Chris's shoulders as you laugh at his impatience. He opens the door for you and chucks you onto your bed, heaving from running all the way while carrying you.

You watch him catch his breath as you sit yourself on your bed. 

"Okay tell me now" he says, sitting next to you impatiently waiting for you to confide.

You sigh as you begin to explain everything to him. 

From the late night meetings with Draco, to finding out about his crush on Hermione, feeling your heart break with every word as you realise that all you ever needed to do was talk about it with someone. You told Chris about the heartbreak, how you were such a fool to fall for him when inevitably he was going to break your heart because how could he ever love someone like you? You confessed everything, about how you wished you were as perfect as Hermione, all the dreams you had of being loved just the way you had read in every book. It was all fiction for you, only reality for the perfect people, the people who had no flaws.

Chris's eyes soften as he hears you rant. You can't look him in the eye, you feel so small under his gaze.

You feel bad, because you know that it's ridiculous to complain about heartbreak when Draco was never actually yours. 

You look at Chris, your chest a bit sore from letting all your feelings out. He looks back at you sympathetically as he rubs his hand along your thigh in a comforting manner.

"You're not mad that I talked to him?" you ask in a small voice.

"Why would I be upset? You have every right to talk to whoever you want. I just... personally don't like him" he said, reassuring you that it was okay and that he wasn't angry for any reason. "I don't like him even more, now that I know he made you upset" he chuckled, and you followed it with a giggle.

Being in Chris's presence calmed you more than you thought, it was almost like you were craving the feeling of being close to someone. It had been a while since you had genuinely laughed and you realised you missed the feeling, the feeling that Chris could so easily give you, the butterflies.

All of a sudden he guides your face to look towards his, tilting your chin upwards with his masculine hand.

You feel utterly small under his gaze, and you're afraid to make eye contact, afraid of the look that might be in his eyes if you look back.

When you do finally give into him, you see him looking right back at you with his eyes half lidded. You don't know what is pulling you towards him, but you lean in slightly, making the first move hinting for him to take action.

Your breathing turns heavy as he closes the gap between the two of you, capturing your lips between his own. The feeling is lustful, almost like you had been waiting for it for the past 5 years you've known him, like it was bound to happen, that he was always meant to be your first kiss.

"Chris" you whisper between the kiss.

He hushes you gently as he pushes you down to the bed. You tangle your hands into his ginger locks as he groans into your mouth. The kiss is hot, passionate, and it's absolutely mindless. 

Your head is pulling a complete blank as you kiss him, no thoughts ae running through, just the pure intensity of the moment.

You break the kiss to sit yourself against the headboard of your bed, and he leans over you, his white shirt tightly clinging onto his body, outlining all the desirable features. You stare at him with your lips parted before gently pulling his head down by his hair.

Chris gently holds your waist, as if careful not to break you, and he sets himself between your legs, once again working his lips against your own. The position is suggestive, but the both of you are sensible enough to make sure there is nothing more than kissing.

His lips make their way down to your neck, where he places small butterfly kisses along your jawline, giving you small whirls in your stomach as you let out an involuntary whimper. You feel Chris smile against your neck as you grip onto his hair tightly.

Just as he breaks contact, you hear the rattling of the door handle. The two of you don't have enough time to compose yourselves before you see Hannah walk into the room, stunned by the position you two are in. 

"What..." she trails off before coming to her senses. "WHAT IN THE WORLD?!" She yells.

Chris looks at her wide eyed. 

"I promise we didn't do what you think" he put his arms up in defence, as you chuckled. 

Hannah deadpans as she recovers from her shock.

"So what are you two now?" she asks, interested in the whole situation.

You look at Chris, giving him an approving nod.

The small gesture spoke a thousand words. You both knew what you wanted, and you wanted to be together, there was no other discussion to it, no argument, it was unanimous.

"She's my girlfriend" Chris said proudly, wrapping an arm around your waist.

A smile is evident on your face, as you realise the love you'd been waiting for was in front of you all along.

---

---

Weeks go by and Draco and Hermione are still dating. They're the lovable and unexpected couple, I mean who would've thought that Draco would give up his reputation to fall in love with a muggleborn Gryffindor girl? More specifically the girl who was friends with his one mortal enemy Harry Potter.

It always broke your heart to admit it, but they seemed like the most perfect couple. They both gave up so much to be with each other and they made it work, it was what everyone admired about them. 

The relationship didn't stop you from being friends with Hermione of course. It wasn't her fault or anyone's fault for that matter. Only yours. For falling for the one boy you could never have.

She seemed to be happier than ever, and even though you were friends it pissed you off. 

It tore you. To hear about her 'oh so perfect' relationship, and her 'perfect life' with her 'perfect boyfriend'. It's like all her wishes were coming true. She had the most popular, charming boy in school wrapped around her finger, she had good grades, she was every teachers pet, and had the most wonderful circle of friends. She had everything you wished for when you came back to school this year.

What pissed you off more was how you didn't see it sooner. 

How when you talked about your late night meetings with Draco she would stay quiet. How she would avoid the topic of love altogether whenever you two talked about it. Why she barely hung out with you, Daphne and Hannah anymore; because she was out with him, late night rendezvous, just like how you used to.

And the fact that you thought you ever had a chance.

It isn't that hard to completely distance yourself from Draco. To be completely honest, it's easier to ignore him than to make an effort to talk to him.

Plus it would be unfair to Hermione, because you were sure that if you talked to him again, you would start catching feelings. 

And they seemed perfect for each other, you would hate to be the person to ruin it.

Or maybe you wouldn't

Oh how much it hurt to see him with her

---

"Y/N!" 

You can hear Hannah yell excitedly in the dorm room as she gets owled a letter.

"What? Oh my gosh what happened!" you said, matching her level of excitement.

"Zach just owled! Get ready right now we're having a hang out with the whole gang at the three broomsticks!! You know how long it's been since the five of us just hung out together?" 

Your eyes widened in excitement.

Hannah was right, it's been ages since the five of you, being Zach, Hannah, Justin, Chris, and yourself, have hung out altogether to chill. It was going to be great.

As you two make your way to the Three Broomsticks you enter to find everyone already there and waiting. Warm welcomes and hugs are shared, food is passed around and laughs are heard. Looks were exchanged, gossip was spread, the warmth was engulfing. It was like a Christmas dinner with your family, just the pure happiness of being together.

It was in this topic of discussion where 'crushes' came around.

"So Hannah, any luck with the guys?" Justin inquires. Hannah flushes red, looking anywhere but Zach.

"N-no, I haven't had a crush this year yet" she stammers and I nudge her and she smiles widely to hide the fact otherwise.

"What about you Zach?" I ask, trying to see if I can get absolutely anything out of them.

"Oh-uh, y'know same old same old... no one yet" he says, more composed than Hannah. The rest of you sigh in frustration. It was so obvious that they fancied each other, yet they couldn't see it themselves.

"Awh come on someone has got to have a crush" Chris says, clearly annoyed that no one has any exciting news to share anymore. "Justin?"

"Hmphh wha-" We all turn to him stuffing his face with food as he grins sheepishly. "What was the question?"

"Have a crush?" Chris says rolling his eyes but still amused.

"Oh. Yeah nah. The girls are all over me this year for some reason, but I don't take interest in any of them." Justin scoffs.

"Yeah right, speaking of crushes..." Chris started. We all turn to him eager to hear something interesting. "Did you guys hear about that fourth year girl who apparently had a crush on me?"

"Fucking hell she scares me" I chip in. Remembering that one obnoxious fourth year who wouldn't keep off Chris.

"Yeah, apparently she's got a thing for gingers, it bloody terrifies me. She had a fucking crush on Ron Weasley before me!" he says, reliving the horrid memories of her confession. 

We all burst into laughter, and I nudge Chris a little bit.

"What about that little crush on Astoria?" I smirk at him as he groans. Everyone continues laughing.

"C'mon y/n what about you. Surely you've had a crush by now." Hannah says.

"Guys, you know I've never had a crush before, most guys just suck" I laugh and everyone joins in, its hard to tell I'm lying right through my teeth.

The topic slowly shifts from crushes, and rather to the new couple at Hogwarts.

"Have you guys heard about Draco and Hermione?" Zach asks, as everyone slowly starts indulging conversations about the unexpected pair. "Who would've expected a muggleborn with the Slytherin prince?"

You slowly feel yourself getting uncomfortable with the topic, and Chris can tell.

"Y'know guys I think I'll be off to bed now but this was really great I missed it" You smile warmly and share goodbyes.

"Yeah me too guys" Chris chips in "Y/n I could walk you to your dorm?"

"Oh yeah, of course"

"I'll meet you two there!" Hannah yells before you leave the building with Chris. 

---

---

You don't go the kitchens for the next few nights.

You can't bear to see him again when you know that he has eyes for someone else. And that person wasn't just anyone, no slytherin, no pureblood, no bratty rich kid, it was Hermione Granger. 

Maybe that's why you were so upset. Because you knew that she was everything you that you were, except she could offer more. 

You can't lie, you miss your usual meetings with Draco, but you need to stay away from him, at all costs.

He notices. Draco can tell you're avoiding him. You dodge him during class, you don't save him a glance during breakfast, you don't come to the kitchens at night to talk to him anymore. He misses it. 

He doesn't know exactly what he did wrong. Or what might've happened on your end. He just knows he needs to talk to you. So that's exactly what he did.

---

"Y/n!"

You hear someone shout behind you after class that day. You keep walking, because that voice haunts the back of your head.

"Y/n, please." you feel Draco yank you backwards by your bag, taking you by surprise and making you stumble. You turn to him with anger written on your face, scaring him just a little bit.

"Watch it Malfoy!" 

Malfoy?

"Listen y/n please tell me what's wrong why are you avoiding me? Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine" you say with no expression.

"C'mon y/n, I can tell when you're clearly not fine." he rolls his eyes.

"I'm just on my period" you say, hoping he will buy it and leave you alone.

"Y/n you were on your period only 2 weeks ago?"

"It's irregular" you shrug.

"Y/n please don't be difficult with me" he says while rubbing his temples. "I just want things to go back to normal between us, please."

It was different hearing Draco Malfoy say please.

"You like Hermione right?" you blurt out. His eyes go wide and he stutters a bit before looking you dead in the eyes.

"How did you know?..." he says, taken aback. 

"Draco I see you staring at her in like practically every class." As much as it hurt.

He groans in response. "So what does that have to do with you not talking to me?"

"Because you're only talking to me because you know I'm friends with Hermione" you say "Right?"

"W-well yeah that was generally the plan." he sighs. "But I really do enjoy talking to you y/n, it's just a bonus that I can ask you questions about her and ask you for advice."

"No Draco, listen I really don't want to do this" you admit "I don't want to get between you and her, or give the wrong advice to you. I wish you the best with her."

"O-oh" he says slightly surprised. He wasn't very accustomed to hearing girls say no to him. "What does that mean for us? Are we still friends, will I still see you tonight?" 

No. That's what you should have said. "Maybe"

He flashes a smile. Usually it would make butterflies erupt in your stomach, now they were dying. You felt sick. You wanted to get away from his presence.

"Great see you tonight" he said. A hint of excitement evident in his voice.

He did not see you that night.

---

After talking to Draco that one time, you haven't spoken a word to him since. You decided that it wasn't worth it chasing a boy who is interested in someone else and would only break your heart.

You spent more time with your own friends, focused more on your studies, and slowly forgot about the whole situation. If you didn't matter to him then why should he matter to you?

Being around the ones who really cared for you healed you. It mended all those feelings of hurt, talking to Daphne, it made you smile, partying with Justin, Hannah and Zach, and it made you laugh, all those late night talks with Chris.

Nevertheless, you could never tear your eyes away from the blonde boy. It seemed as if everywhere you went he was looking at you with a pleading expression, maybe a slight bit of hurt; because you stood him up that night. Although you never actually said yes.

You shook away those thoughts as you focused back to the lecture. Transfigurations was never your strong point, but you could feel a certain pair of eyes boring into the back of your head longingly. 

Moments like those made you wonder if he ever felt the same way, but then you remembered the way he looked at her. The way his eyes lit up like she was his whole world, what you would give to be loved like that by someone.

The bell echoed across the room and you mindlessly started packing your stuff to finally see Daphne at the end of the day. Every Friday evening you two did the same thing. A girls catch up in your corner of the library, where you would just talk about all your drama, all the gossip, and all your worries for the next week.

"Daphne!" you shout across the hall, bustling with students at the end of the day. You wave your arms around catching her attention.

She walks up to you, and gives you a hug. You two have no classes together this year, which is a bummer because you rarely get to see her unless its your catch up day.

As the two of you laugh and make your way to the library, you see a couple heading out to presumably Hogsmeade, dressed in warm clothing and hand in hand. It's odd, because the couple looks unrecognisable, until you see a familiar platinum blonde figure laugh, and a girl with long brown frizzy hair kiss his nose...

There's no way.

You turn to Daphne and she's looking at you already.

"Is that Hermione and Draco?" You ask her, hoping that she wouldn't say what she was about to say.

"Yeah.." she started "I overheard Draco talking about it in the Slytherin common rooms this morning. They started dating just this Wednesday, apparently he's absolutely smitten for her."

Your heart breaks as Daphne confirms that they are most definitely dating.

That was all you needed to hear, the butterflies were dead.

---

----------------------

You woke up in your dorm room. Your mind was a bit foggy as to what actually happened last night until you suddenly remembered. You fell asleep underneath the willow tree, with Draco. How were you back here? You were praying it wasn't all just a dream. Until you found a small note on your bedside table.

'Carried you back to your dorm. I didn't have the heart to wake you up from your peaceful sleep. :) D.M'

Your heart skipped a beat. He carried you? All the way to the Hufflepuff dorms? You grew self conscious once again. Was I heavy? Oh no, did he struggle to get me back into my dorm? That's so embarrassing! He must've tucked me into bed too.

You flipped the note over and saw more writing at the back of it.

'I know what you're thinking darling, no you weren't too heavy I'm stronger than you think, also why did you not tell me you weren't wearing a shirt under that damn hoodie.'

You flushed red. Gosh no girl actually wears a shirt under their hoodie, especially if they are alone, its usually just a bra underneath. You laughed at the thought of Draco realising that you weren't wearing anything but a bra underneath before some dirty thoughts started to bubble in your head. You shook the thoughts away and got up to put the note into your drawer.

You had already missed breakfast, but you didn't mind so much. Hannah went though, so you were left alone in the dorm. You got ready in your school robes as you prepared for potions class next. 

---------------------------------

You arrived in potions class a little bit late. Luckily, Snape was taking his merry time to get to class so you got there before him and avoided a telling off and 5 points from Hufflepuff. You looked around for any available seats next to your friends, but you realised it didn't really matter because Snape was going to put you into random pairs for the practice test anyway. 

You took a free seat next to Ron, while Hermione and Harry were seated on the opposite side of the 4 seater table. The door of the classroom squeaked and you half expected Snape to be there, but instead you saw a head of platinum blonde hair, messy as if it wasn't tamed since Draco got out of bed. 

Your heart beat a bit faster as he entered the room. He smiled as he saw you and walked in your direction. He had his potions book in one hand and he grasped your shoulder gently with the other, making butterflies erupt in your stomach.

"Where were you at breakfast?" He asked in his deep voice. You giggled slightly, and Hermione gave you a weird look.

"I was asleep" you said, and mouthed a 'thank you' to him for carrying you to bed last night. He winked back at you and went to take a seat with his friends.

"Hello class" you heard the monotone voice of your professor. "I have paired you all for the practice test today. I will not be tolerating complaints or requests for swaps." The class nodded as he continued his list.

"Theo and Luna, Harry and Draco, Pansy and Hannah, Daphne and Blaise, Y/n and Hermione, Ron and Justin, Chris and Zach..." The list went on but you didn't listen to anything after your own name.

You were paired with Hermione which you were okay with, though she was acting a bit off lately. You didn't complain, you would rather be with her than with Pansy. 

You and Hermione started off with making the Veritaserum in the cauldron and mixing the ingredients. Hermione was brilliant at potions, but so were you, so you both were doing great so far. You decided to look around to see how the other pairs were going with their work. Theo and Luna looked like they were having trouble, while Zach and Chris looked practically done. You took a glance at Harry and Draco and how they were doing, you were actually surprised that Draco hadn't complained about being paired with his one true greatest enemy. Maybe he had changed more than you thought. 

That's when you caught him staring in your direction... but not at you. You followed his eyes, and realised where he was actually looking. Hermione. You inspected his gaze, it was a gaze of admiration, you could almost see love in his eyes, hearts. Did he actually like Hermione, is that why she was acting weird when you were talking about him.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach dying at the thought of both of them liking each other. 

It was like he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Draco flicked his eyes back down to his potion, and you were left heartbroken. Everything was sort of making sense now. Why he said he needed you for something. He needed you to get closer to Hermione, because he knew you were friends practically everybody, including her. The reason why he was saying he didn't mind blood purity anymore; why he said he had grown quite fond of muggleborns. It's because he was in love with one. All this realisation was hitting you all at once, and you didn't like it. You felt sick. You had just started to fall for him.

"Y/n!" You heard a yell from Hermione "Are you mixing the potion to the left?!" You snapped back to reality, tears threatening to escape.

"Yeah I am, sorry" you mumbled quietly.

The class went by fast, so did the rest of the day. And you were left to think about everything. You really were beginning to love that boy, but of course he doesn't love you. Hermione is fucking perfect, of course he likes her.

--------------------------

Meeting Draco in the kitchens became a regular thing for you two. You would both get lost in discussion and talk about all sorts of things with each other. All in all, you were surprised by his actions, you thought that you'd never encounter him again, or that he would treat you like a complete stranger during the day or in class. But he treated you like a friend, you liked that. You liked adding a new friend to your list, and you were glad that you had gotten to know the boy better.

It had been just over a week, of your and Draco's little late night rendezvous in the kitchens. You were enjoying them, and you were starting to see a side of him that you weren't sure anyone else saw. You were sure falling for him, slowly. 

You were in potions class now, your favourite class, and professor Snape had just assigned a new task, we were to make the Veritaserum potion with a partner in class, as a practice for our upcoming OWLs. You were looking forward to it, you could get along with just about anyone in the class, including Draco now, so it meant that you didn't really care who you were partnered with.

You were sitting in a table of 4, you were next to Chris, with Hannah and Zach opposite you two. The four of you were laughing with each other and mucking around when Snape entered the classroom.

"Quiet all of you" He threatened, "Now, as you all know I will be picking your partners for the practice assessment." 

There were groans all around the classroom, mostly from the table of Slytherins at the back. 

"Professor Snape, surely you can pair me with Draco" You heard Pansy whine like a four year old. You watched Draco grimace at Pansy's comment, as well as Daphne give her a glare, then turn to smile at you. Professor Snape didn't answer her question but continued talking.

"Unfortunately, Professor McGonagall is here to have a talk with you during this period, about some important matters, so this lesson will be cut short. We will not have time for our practice assessment today, I will pick your partners tomorrow; be prepared" He chose to drag out the last phrase with deep emphasis, which sent shivers down you spine.

You wondered what Professor McGonagall was here to talk about. As if on cue, she strutted into the classroom. You heard a chair scrape against the floor at the back of the classroom, and footsteps walk to the front of the classroom. Draco

"Morning class" She started "I have to have a chat about the night time activity of students in your year group. There are far too many students wandering around the school grounds at night" Draco stood by the Professor's side and nodded, in agreement to what she was saying. Hypocrite. You thought. He's in the kitchens every night! 

"Mr. Malfoy here has informed me of the many students he has found wandering the halls at night during his prefect patrols, I am simply appalled by the amount of you who have been caught doing anything but sleeping in your dorms. I cannot stress this enough. Students must be in their dorm rooms by 12 am, no later. If any of the prefects inform me of any activity after 12 am, I will be quick to act on this" Professor McGonagall looked furious as she spoke, though you weren't really listening to anything she said after. You were still stunned by what she said in her first sentence. Draco is a prefect. 

It hit you like a load of bricks. He wasn't just meeting you every night in the kitchens, he was patrolling. But then what did all those conversations mean? Those late night walks? Him walking you back to your dorm? Was it all for him to show Professor McGonagall that he was keeping students in line... why had he not ratted you out?

You were beyond confused, and you longed for answers.

--------------------------------

You decided that you would confront him in the kitchens tonight, you just hoped that he wouldn't put his duties over your late night cravings, and that he wouldn't hand you over to McGonagall.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you heard two people shouting your name.

"Y/N" you definitely recognised them "Y/N". It was Justin and Chris of course. What could they possibly want right now?

"Y/n, tell me, Chris over here thinks that the Gryffindor team is going to win the next quidditch game, what a load of bullshit. I'm here telling him that the Hufflepuff team is going to win. Can you tell him that for me?!" Justin ranted on to you as he eyed Chris, it made you giggle a little bit, and Chris shot you a warm smile. You blushed. Gosh what is wrong with me, first Draco then Chris?

You looked at Chris playfully once you had recovered from your blushing moment, and you smiled wickedly.

"Sorry bout this one Christian, but the Hufflepuff team is 100% going to win. If I was in Gryffindor I would tell you otherwise, but you came to the wrong person" You snickered at him as he smiled down at you. He had such a warm smile, he was so sweet too. Gosh y/n get yourself together, this year isn't about finding a love life. Or is it?

"Oh trust me" Chris started "The Gryffindor team is going to win, and when they do you will be running back to me for autographs" he chuckled, a bit full of himself as he was the seeker for the Gryffindor team. You fake pouted at him as he patted your head as if to say 'hush child'.

"Trust me, y/n and I will stay quite a distance from you, plus our team is definitely going to win, especially because I'm the seeker" Justin flexed

You couldn't help but giggle, you loved hanging around with Justin and Chris, they were best friends and you were left in the middle of their stupid arguments. You didn't mind though.

"I don't think I can stand around this dumb ass any longer y/n, you can have him I'm going to the library to find Hannah. "  Justin winked at you and left for the library. 

You sighed. You knew exactly what Justin was up to, everyone usually shipped you and Chris, and Justin was one of those people. You didn't really understand why, I mean you two were great friends, and sure you made flirty jokes here and there, and maybe you two spent a lot of one together and looked as if you were a couple... you sort of understood what people meant now. 

You never saw Chris as more than a friend though, but now you weren't sure. He was a great guy and now that you think of it, a lot of the stuff you two do together might come across as things a couple would do. Even if you thought you liked him though, you doubt he would like you back. He already told you a while ago that he fancies the girl from the year below you guys, Astoria Greengrass.

He could have picked anyone else and you would have supported his opinion, but there was no fucking way you would ever support his crush on Astoria. You wouldn't tell him that though, you hadn't told anyone about your hatred for that girl yet, only Hannah.

"So..." you snapped back to reality as Chris tried to start conversation. "Anything interesting happen for you lately?"

He started the conversation off a bit awkwardly for your liking. 

"Not really" You told him. There was no way that you would ever tell him about how you and Draco have been talking to each other after school hours, he would be furious. "What about you? And your little crush?" You nudged him playfully.

"Y/n I told you, its not a crush. Its just a half crush, she is pretty and she has a really pretty smile, but I know she has a shitty personality" He admitted, he didn't want you getting ideas, because he genuinely didn't like her in a romantic way, he just admired the way she looked, and her natural beauty. 

"Yeah, yeah. I totally believe that" you commented sarcastically. I mean he was a great guy, you definitely knew he deserved better than a bratty fourth year who slept with who knew how many guys. You started to imagine what kind of a boyfriend he would be, he would certainly be kind, and he would treat you like a princess. He would be there for you, you could confide in him, as you're wrapped in his strong arms, looking into his warm blue eyes, running your hands through his blonde locks, playing with the rings on his fingers. 

You weren't thinking about Chris anymore, you were thinking about the one and only Slytherin prince. Then you remembered that you were a bit upset at him, for not telling you about his prefect duties and leading you on. 

"What are you thinking about y/n?" You heard a voice chip in, and a hand on your forearm. "You always make that face if you're thinking about something important" You looked at Chris and sighed. Should you tell him?

"Nothing" you said. You hated keeping secrets from him, you told him practically everything. "Even if I did tell you, you wouldn't like it"

"Ridiculous" he scoffed "Y/n, if something is bothering you then you can tell me, even if I don't like it." he hugged you around your waist, he had strong grip. Your head was against his shoulders, face near his neck and hands against his chest. You two were in a position that definitely looked as if the two of you were anything but 'just friends'. You giggled to yourself at the thought, and Chris loosened his grip.

"Okay, I will tell you, but just not now, it's a bit complicated" you explained

"That's alright y/n. Just tell me whenever you're ready, no pressure." he reassured you. You hummed in reply as the Golden Trio started walking up to you two.

Harry and Ron went up to Chris and they started talking about the upcoming quidditch match, as they were all in Gryffindor. You started talking to Hermione, and you realised you never actually had the chance to have a fully fletched conversation with her this year. It was nice talking to her again, you ended up talking to her about the upcoming OWLs, her Christmas holidays with her family back at the muggle world, and your love lives.  Which weren't actually very exciting seeing as none of you showed particular interest in any guys yet. You were confused as to why you hadn't heard of any guys having crushes on Hermione, I mean she was perfect. She had beautiful hair, and lovely eyes, and the perfect body, the perfect smile, the confidence, the friendliness. You just didn't understand.

"I'm just waiting for the perfect guy you know, someone where I have something special with him" You nodded at her statement, you were looking for that one guy too. Hopefully he would come soon.

"I get what you mean, the guys here at Hogwarts really need to up their game" You laughed, she joined in with you.

The three boys all decided that they would go to the Three Broomsticks, to get a drink, so you and Hermione tagged along with them. It was nice and calming, you were glad you had a lot of friends that you could count on. When you came to Hogwarts, since first year you promised yourself that you wouldn't make enemies in your school years. So far you had lived up to that promise, you could get along with just about anyone, no wonder you were placed in Hufflepuff.

----------------------------

"So you're telling me that you have been meeting up with THE DRACO MALFOY every night after school hours?!"

You were sitting with Hannah, Daphne, and Hermione in your dorm, explaining the late night rendezvous you had with the slytherin prince. Hannah and Daphne were over the top dramatic about it. Hermione, well, she was silent the whole time, you weren't very sure what sort of reaction she was displaying.

"Yeah..." you said

"That boy is actually so damn fine, I can't believe you've been talking to him behind our backs girl" Daphne said.

"Yeah, I heard he fucked 12 girls in our year last year. I dunno how he managed to pull one every month" Hannah laughed as well as Daphne. You were quick to stay silent on that one. Something about discussing Draco's body count was uncomfortable to you. Maybe you wanted to be the 13th one.

"Hermione are you alright?" You asked, to break the awkward silence.

"Hm? Yeah I'm fine" She sounded distant, like the conversation to her was nonexistent. You shrugged it off and suggested that it was late and that all of your should go to sleep. 

You and Hannah were left alone in the dorm, you were closest with Hannah, you told her everything and so did she. It was 12am, and Hannah was already fast asleep. You wanted to go to the kitchens to meet up with Draco again, but it was all different after knowing that he was a prefect, and was only talking to you because of his duties. You sighed and got out of bed anyway, putting on your hoodie and heading out the door. Except you didn't go to the kitchens.

--------------------------

The breeze was soft, and the clouds blended in with the dark blue sky. You headed over to your favourite willow tree, that had lost its leaves over the winter. You could see a few new leaves sprouting, but other than that it was completely bare. You took a seat on the bench that was underneath it and let your hair down. Playing with the hair tie between your fingers, you thought about your conversation with Hermione, and how you two were talking about your love lives. Hermione seemed so confident in her love life she seemed so sure that everything was going to play out for her and that she would meet the perfect guy. 

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn't hear footsteps approaching you from behind. The person came to sit next to you.

"I was looking for you, why weren't you at the kitchens like you normally are?" Draco asked, he was a bit concerned. You completely ignored his question as he shuffled a bit closer to you on the bench.

"Forgot to wear pants did we?" he chuckled as he looked at your bare legs, goosebumps were noticeable because of how chilly it was outside. You were wearing shorts, they were just not visible because of your ginormous hoodie.

You stifled a laugh, successfully. You didn't reply to him once more, you just wanted your questions answered.

"You're a prefect Draco" his eyes widened a bit, he didn't know why he felt weird when you said his first name. He was a bit confused by your question. What were you on about?

"What?" he replied.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a prefect Draco? And that you were here because of your duties?" You questioned him, your tone of voice was rushed, you were nervous for some reason.

"I-I thought you knew..." he trailed on.

"No Draco, I didn't." you sighed, disappointed in yourself for not knowing sooner. "It just makes me question a lot of things."

"Like what?" Draco said softly.

"It makes me question why you ever talked to me in the first place. You duties? Or actually getting to know me?"

"Well I mean it's a bit of both, I'm glad I got to know you and the prefect patrols just make it a heck of a lot easier to talk to you alone"

"Yes, but why Draco?" you were exasperated

"Why what?..."

"Why am I not in detention right now! Why am I still meeting you every night? I don't get why! Why have you not told on me? Gotten me into trouble for being out of my dorm past 12?" You let it all out.

He fell silent. He didn't really know why himself. He had snitched on practically everyone. The 3rd year Gryffindors he spotted in the corner of the common rooms making out, or the Ravenclaws up in the astronomy tower, or even the Slytherins from first year trying to hex each other in the Great Hall. But he chose not to for the Hufflepuff girl in his year, he did need you for something though. He didn't want to tell you, but he felt like he could trust you.

"I..." he started "I need you for something, I need help with it, I just need advice" he sighed, avoiding eye contact with you. "It's embarrassing, though"

"You can tell me Draco, I won't judge you. I'm the last person who would do that" you reassured him honestly.

"I know, I know. But it's nothing like me, nothing like how I used to be." he looked away shamefully. Was that... blush spread across his face? "I haven't told anyone, not even my friends"

"Am I not your friend?" You giggled

"No- no that's not what I meant I-"

"No it's okay I know what you meant" you laughed. He smiled at you. He knew you didn't like your smile or laugh, but he thought it was really contagious.

"You have a pretty smile" he pointed out blatantly. You grew self conscious and stopped laughing and stared at him wide eyed. 

"I didn't tell you to stop laughing" he chucked at you. You just looked away to hide your blush. Draco fucking Malfoy just told you that your smile was pretty.

He probably sensed that you weren't going to say much more because you were self conscious. He placed an arm around your shoulders, which didn't help with your blush. You swear you were falling for this boy each day, it just felt like he opened up to you in a way he hadn't done to anyone else. You thought back to what Hermione said, having something special with someone. Maybe he was your special someone. You regained your confidence and decided to play flirty.

"Draco" you said, leaning your head on his shoulder as his arm slunk over your shoulders, "What would you do if I fell asleep on you right now?" You tucked your legs under your hoodie and sunk your head deeper into his shoulder, you could smell his cologne, and the soft fabric of his sweater, as you playing with the drawstrings.

--------------------------------

It was around 2:16 am in the morning. You couldn't sleep at all. There was just too many things going on in your mind, this year you felt all the pressure coming back in a rush. You were a sixteen year old girl in Hogwarts, fifth year was something you weren't looking forward to very much, I mean you were only 2 weeks in so far. It seemed like this year would be full of boredom. I mean first year was great, everything was new and all, especially for a muggleborn like you, it was all an adventure. Second and third year was all about making new friends and mucking around, Fourth year was all about the excitement of Yule ball and the Triwizard tournaments. Fifth year needed to be real drama filled for it to top last year.

You glanced back at your clock again. 2:23 am. You groaned in frustration, it must've been your period or something, but you were suddenly craving those little French macarons you remember tasting when the Beauxbatons students had come over last year. Surely they would have some in the kitchens still?

You were about to find out. You couldn't sleep anyway, a small snack at this time of night wouldn't hurt?

You quietly shifted yourself out of bed, wincing as the cold air hit your warm skin. You quickly threw on your favourite blue hoodie that was oversized. You slipped on your fluffy muggle slippers that your parents had gifted you and headed out the dorm room quietly; careful not to wake Hannah up.

After you had exited your dorm room, you grabbed the claw clip inside the pocket of your hoodie and clipped up your hair. You slowly made your way up to the kitchens, your craving for any sweet little treats growing stronger with each step. Determination filled your veins as you quickened your pace in search of the kitchens. 

Finally you arrived at the kitchens, you started searching through the cupboards and looking for anything that could satisfy your cravings. You sighed in content as you found the large cupboard full of your favourite muggle sweet treats, macarons, tarts, muffins, muesli bars, chocolate fingers. Grabbing your desired treats, you placed them on the counter and opened them, the plastic wrap making an awful lot of noise.

"Hungry?" You heard a voice behind you and you froze. It was a deep attractive voice.

You turned around, the warm candles of the kitchen illuminated his face perfectly. Draco Malfoy was talking to you. You stood there for a while, trying to think of how else to answer his question. You were usually a really talkative person who could give good comebacks, so seeing yourself tongue tied around him was odd.

"What the fuck do you want Malfoy?" You spat out shocked at how toxic your voice sounded.

"Woah, feisty." he chuckled. God why is his laugh so attractive. "I was just wondering what you were doing in the kitchens at this time of night" he shrugged.

"I could ask you the same question" you shot back at him without a second thought. You were quite good at that. "I'm just hungry okay? And my cramps are killing me." You said in a slightly whiny voice as your period cramps started to kick in once again.

"Cramps?" he said, and you swear you saw a flash of concern in his eyes. But as soon as you noticed it, it disappeared. 

"Yeah. My period cramps." you said, not awkward about the topic.; it was normal

"So that's why you have a hoard of sweets in front of you. Mind if I have some?" Draco eyed at your treats. You defensively covered them with your arms. Why was he even talking to you? It's not like he has ever shown interest in you before. the only time you two ever spoke to each other is if you needed to in class. What was he even doing here.

"No. I found it, go find your own food." you retorted playfully.

"Alright, alright" He put his hands up in defeat and left to find something. He came back with two muffins in his hand. 

"Walnut and coffee" he said as he handed you one of the muffins in his hand. You were feeling a bit curious, so you took the walnut and coffee flavoured muffin out of his hand cautiously. You took a few bites of it and furrowed your brows. Why does it actually taste really good?

"Like it? They're my favourite muffins" he said, as he inspected your facial expressions while eating the muffin.

You didn't answer him, you just looked at him with confusion.

"Draco why are you even talking to me? Don't you have this big thing about not talking to Hufflepuffs, let alone Muggleborn ones?"

----------------------------

Draco's POV

"Hungry?" I asked the girl as I watched her freeze in her place.

Y/n turned around, and stood there for a while. I'd never really talked to her much, I never had anything to say to her, but I did find it particularly amusing to find her roaming the kitchens at this ungodly hour, with snacks laid all over the counter.

"What the fuck do you want Malfoy?" she spat at me. I knew she didn't like me, but I didn't think it would cause such a reaction at just the sight of me. Sure I had made fun of her friends in the past, but I had never insulted her personally. I had respect for her, plus this year I've a change of heart, I want to be a better person, for many different reasons, I'm was just sick of being a stuck up prick.

"Woah, feisty." I chuckled. "I was just wondering what you were doing in the kitchens at this time of night" I shrugged.

"I could ask you the same question" she shot back at me with a glare. "I'm just hungry okay? And my cramps are killing me." 

"Cramps?" I said. I was genuinely confused, and I must admit when y/n said that I did get a bit worried, though I didn't know why. I had no reason to care about her after all. 

"Yeah. My period cramps." Ah, that made more sense. I knew a little bit about girls on their periods. They were usually moody, hungry, and had cramps often. That's what Blaise told me anyway.

"So that's why you have a hoard of sweets in front of you. Mind if I have some?" I looked at the treats that she was defending.

"No. I found it, go find your own food." she retorted. She's probably confused why I'm talking to her. 

"Alright, alright" I went to the pantries to find some treats that I might like. Walnut and Coffee, my favourite. I grabbed two just in case y/n wanted to try some.

"Walnut and coffee" I said as I handed her one of the muffins. "Like it? They're my favourite muffins" I said. She showed no facial expression, so I wasn't quite sure if she was enjoying it or not. She wasn't spitting it our in disgust, so I figured that she found it tolerable at the least.

She was quick to change the subject.

"Draco why are you even talking to me? Don't you have this big thing about not talking to Hufflepuffs, let alone Muggleborn ones?" 

Draco. I wasn't too sure why she was calling me that. It was sort of nice to have someone call me by my first name, most people usually just spat out my last name. 

I thought about her question. Why was I talking to her? I mean, I could've just walked past her and carried on with my patrol, but instead I joined her. I did need her help though, but right now didn't seem like an appropriate time. She was having cramps and was probably really hungry. Plus I don't think I want to mess with this girl on her period. I was enjoying her company though, as much as I wish I wasn't.

"Well I guess my opinions have changed. I think you'll find that I don't mind people from other houses now. I think I'm quite fond of muggleborns now actually." I wasn't lying. I waited for y/n to respond. She just gasped dramatically.

"Draco? Fond of muggleborns? His father must be hearing about this!" And she burst into a fit of laughter. Her laugh was pretty, I can't deny, it's quite contagious too. I ended up joining in with her laughter. She was a nice person to be around, from what I knew she didn't have any enemies at this school.

----------------------

Your POV

You and Draco chatted for a while in the kitchens. You sort of forgot about how stuck up he was, and just started talking to him like he was one of your friends. You started to think that he actually wasn't that bad at all. I mean maybe he has changed like he said so. 

You let out a yawn, and he yawned a few seconds after.

"I think I'm going to go back to my dorms" you giggled "It's like 3:30 am"

"Yeah you probably should go back to sleep" He paused for a while "Do you want me to drop you off to your dorm?"

You were a bit shocked by his kind gesture. I mean Draco being kind to you was a shock in itself, him talking to you was even more shocking, but walking you to your dorm? That seemed a bit fishy in your opinion, but maybe he was genuinely being kind. You hoped he was.

"Uhh" you contemplated what you were about to say next. "Sure I guess". He flashed you a small smile, and the two of you walked towards the Hufflepuff dorms in silence. 

"I've never been to the Hufflepuff area of Hogwarts" Draco said, breaking the silence. "It's quite nice"

"Yeah I guess it is" You said. 

"I've been to every other houses common room and dorm areas, but not Hufflepuff. It's probably because I've never slept with a Hufflepuff girl yet" He chuckled. He was probably hoping that you were going to laugh at the joke too, but instead he watched your face contort into a grimace. You didn't know how to reply to that, talking so openly about the girls that he has slept with was a bit disgusting in your opinion. Though it did make you wonder how good he was in bed.

"I don't do that anymore y/n" he said a bit quieter, he probably noticed that you found it a bit awkward "I used to, but I've changed". You believed him, he did seem like a different person now.

"I believe you" you stated. Then you reached your dorm room. "I guess this is goodnight then"

"Yeah, I had a good time y/n" he admitted, "See you around, goodnight". His kindness once again took you by surprise, and he smiled at you. Softly, but it was genuine. Smiles suited him well.

"Goodnight Draco" You said, and you closed the door as you walked into your dorm.

He found it odd that you were still calling him by his first name. He wasn't complaining. 

You walked further into the dorm room, you were still recovering from your encounter with Draco. You didn't like him like that did you? Then why were you feeling hot all of a sudden? Gosh he was charming, and he was funny, but why does he all of a sudden have a change of heart? You were full of questions, hoping they'd be answered.

---

---

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks, and each day you hear the rumor from a different person.

"Did you hear that Malfoy slept with that other girl, I feel bad for y/n"

"Poor girl, she doesn't even know she's dating a snake."

"Do you think she knows by now? Maybe she's just in denial."

There had been a 'rumor' going around school that your boyfriend slept with another girl, multiple times. You didn't want to believe it, but with each day your suspicions grow further.

Maybe it was because he had cancelled your last few dates, without any warning, or any reason. Maybe it's because he didn't stay overnight like he usually did, and you were left alone in the cold empty sheets by yourself. Maybe you knew he was cheating, but you just didn't want it to be real.

You only ever experienced 'love' with Draco, he was your first everything. 

It felt weird, wrong, to ever think that you could love anyone else, and stop loving him. 

You were a kind girl, rational at best. But you felt yourself succumbing to this rumor every leading day, like when you tell a lie so much you start believing that it's true.

Maybe part of you knew it was true.

---

The next day you decided you were going to confront Draco about it. Ask him, because you trusted him to tell the truth.

You found him in the corridors, seemingly alone in the dark, whispering to himself.

"Draco" you whispered, meeting his wide eyed expression and flustered face. "I need to talk to you."

"O-oh of course love" he answered nodding his head.

"Draco... are you cheating on me?" you asked in a small voice, but wanting to get right to the point.

You didn't get an answer for what felt like forever.

"Y/n, I promise I never meant to hurt you... I think we need to break up." Those words sparked something in your heart, the fact that he didn't even fight back. Didn't beg for you to stay, beg for your forgiveness. 

"When were you going to tell me?" you said, your voice breaking. "Were you going to tell me after I gave my everything to you? Were you going to tell me once I had given up all I had just to be with you?" He looked at you with a pitiful expression, it was almost pathetic.

There was a long silence before you heard a shuffle from behind the pillar next to you.

"Just come out" Draco says, clearly irritated at the situation. 

You give a confused look, before your eyes widen seeing a girl emerge from behind the pillar, top buttons undone, and hair ruffled. It hurt more to see it than to hear it.

You felt every emotion and hint of sadness turn into anger. Sure, you were angry at him for cheating, but you were angry at yourself for not seeing it sooner. The red flags, and the deceitful lies. 

How dare he cheat on you, and then he gets the satisfaction of breaking up with you, when really you should be the one tearing him to pieces for being disloyal.

"No." you simply state. "No Draco, you have no right to break up with me" your tone is warning, heavy with emphasis and anger, yet you keep your calm as you strike the palm of your hand against his face.

He stutters as he hold his left cheek, the girl next to him gasps and gives you a glare before you whack her in the face too. There's no protest. No argument. They both know they deserve it, they both know what they've done wrong.

"I'm breaking up with you" you say in a low voice, it's enough to send shivers down Draco's spine as he watches your face flare in anger. "You have no right! To break up with me when you were the one to cheat in the first place. You know what I gave for you! You know how much I had to go through when I heard people saying that you deserved better? I used to feel like shit, but now I feel a little bit better knowing that all along, I was the one who deserved better."

You studied his face, a soft expression evident, and a heavy heart.

"No. Don't go gentle with me, it won't work anymore Draco." you warned.

"And if anyone asks. I broke up with you"

---

---------------------------

You yawned as you dug your head into the pillows. The sunlight had leaked into your Hufflepuff dorm room, and you winced as the sunshine made contact with your eyes. 

"Come on sleepyhead. We're gonna be late for breakfast, or I'll leave without you."

You heard Hannah, your dorm mate, yell at you from the other side of the dorm. You groaned and pushed the sheets off your body. You took a look at Hannah to find her all dressed up, it looked as if she'd been awake for a few hours now just getting herself ready. 

"You look nice?" you complimented her.

She did look stunning, she was a very gorgeous girl. She was wearing her Hufflepuff uniform, robes with the yellow and black striped tie, but there was something different about her face. She must've caught you staring in concentration.

"I was trying out some muggle makeup" she said "It's taken hours just to get both of my eyelids looking the same, it would've been much easier just using a charm to fix it up, I don't know how the muggles do it" she laughed.

You joined in with her laughter. You fixed your glasses on your face and started searching around the room floor in hopes of finding your school robes somewhere. You found them in the corner, a bit crumpled and had some potions stains at the bottom. You fixed it up with a charm and put it on. You sighed as you looked at the mess of your hair in the mirror. You attempted to tame your (straight/curly/wavy) hair, and ended up just using a claw clip because it just suited your sleepyhead aura at the moment. You put on some lip gloss that your muggle friends had given you over Christmas break.

You decided that you were ready enough to go to breakfast, plus you were starving. You were so starving that your stomach started speaking to you. 

"Okay, I'm ready now we can go" you told Hannah

"About time" she chuckled.

----------------------------------

As you made it to the first breakfast in fifth year, you took a look around at the people around you. After break, a lot of the boys and girls in your year had matured. Girls around you were gorgeous, and the guys had all done some working out and grown taller. You couldn't lie, some of those guy friends of yours were starting to fit under that category. You walked with Hannah up to the Hufflepuff tables, and you met your other Hufflepuff friends Justin and Zach. 

"Hey y/n" Justin said, a smirk played on his lips as he saw you looking up at him in awe. Yes. Looking up at him. 

Justin looked awfully great. It was scary how much a person could change over Christmas break. His arms were muscular, his short, dirty blonde hair was grown out now, and it fell over his forehead. You just wanted to run your hands through his locks, because they looked so soft and tempting. He was much taller than you now, before you two seemed to meet eye to eye, but now he was clearly a whole head taller, and you weren't complaining.

You had always considered Justin one of your guy best friends. You had a few, and that was because you had a lot of friends form a lot of different houses. You had friends from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor. You only had one friend form Slytherin, and that was Daphne Greengrass. She was a lovely girl, and she didn't let your house or blood affect your friendship. You didn't quite like her younger sister though, Astoria. She was stuck up, annoying, and bratty- to you. She would put on an innocent act in front of everyone else, and what was just as unfair was that she was extremely beautiful. She was gorgeous. It just wasn't fair.

You snapped out of your thoughts and replied to Justin after what seemed like an eternity of being lost in thoughts.

"Hey Justin" You replied, copying the smirk across his face.

You couldn't help it but you just gave him a hug. You were great friends after all, and hugging was normal at that point for you. You did end up running your hands through his hair. He chuckled at your actions in which you just raised an eyebrow at him. You giggled after that and let go from the embrace. You walked up to Zach and also gave him a hug. He had also gotten much taller and his brown wavy locks were grown out and sharply shaven to give a clean finished look. Zach had always been taller than you so hugging him didn't seem much different. You could tell that he had switched to a different cologne, however. 

The four of you chattered at the Hufflepuff tables in the great hall, eating breakfast and discussing all sorts of exciting things that happened over break. After a good hour of talking you decided to go look for your other friends from other houses. You wanted to see who else had matured and grown over the break.

You went over to the Ravenclaw tables first, where you greeted Luna, who was looking gorgeous as always. You two had discussion for a while, but the conversation was interrupted by a tall black haired boy who was seemed to take an interest in Luna. You then walked up to the Gryffindor table.

You had a lot of friends in Gryffindor, and yes, you were also friends with the Golden trio. You weren't extremely close to them, but you were close enough to them to have comfortable and interesting conversations. As you were walking to the tables you felt muscular arms wrap your waist from behind. It took you by surprise at first, but you immediately knew who it was when you smelt his cologne and saw a few ginger strands of hair.

"How's my favourite Gryffindor?" you chuckled. You heard a deep chuckle in return. Damn his voice has matured too.

You laughed and turned around to face Chris. He was muggleborn just like you, which was probably why the two of you got along so well. He had also matured over the break, though he was equally just as charming as the year before. He had definitely been working out during the break, and you could tell, and his jawline was more prominent. His freckles dusted his pale mature face in a majestic way, and his hair looked more dull ginger, instead of bright orange like previous years. He had always been insecure of his hair, he considered going blonde a few times, but you kept talking him out of it, because in all honesty you loved his ginger hair, and you thought it brought out his eyes. He was one of your more mature guy friends, and he was a great one too. You could come to him for advice, or just to cry, and you knew that he was always there for you, unless he was having a bad day, he could be really disregarding, which was one thing you found very annoying about him. He could be as cold as Draco Malfoy. You thought.

"I'm good y/n. You look good, did you do something different with your hair?" He looked into your eyes, focused, which made you a bit nervous, as much as you didn't like to admit it. It was mostly because he looked so much better, as did everyone else in this freaking school, and you sort of looked the same.

You were quite insecure of the way you looked, or more just you face. You never considered yourself pretty, nor had you heard anyone else consider you as pretty. People mainly knew you for your friendliness and willingness to get to know new people. Sure, you loved your body, you wouldn't change a thing about it, but your face? That was a different story. You didn't like your smile, or your acne, or your eyes, which were a boring colour. You didn't like your hair, which was also such a boring colour with such plain texture. You didn't like how your lips were shaped, or the way your nose sat on your face, your jawline wasn't sharp, you squinted too much when you smiled, and you just saw everything wrong with your face. You swore to yourself that was the only reason why you were single. You didn't see any other reason why; you had a wonderful personality.

"No" you replied to him, "I don't think my hair looks that different, it looks the same as always."

"I think it looks good in the claw clip though." he reassured you with a honest smile.

"Thanks" You shot him a smile back, suddenly insecure of how much of your eyes he could actually see, in case you were squinting too much.

"Have you noticed how everyone has been having glow ups over break?" you quickly changed the subject to hide the fact that you were starting to feel a bit insecure standing next to him.

"Yeah I've definitely noticed. You look great too after the holidays" He said calmly "N-not saying you didn't look great before" he panicked slightly, he always did that when he thought he might've said something wrong.

"No its alright" you laughed, slightly amused at his panic "I don't think I look much different, which kinda sucks. Everyone in this entire school is looking damn fine now, and I guess I just missed the memo" you laughed again, a bit dryly.

"No, don't say that-" he placed a hand on your shoulder, but he wasn't looking at you, he was looking at someone behind you. 

"Where are you..." You trailed off and looked in the direction he was looking. He was looking at two people behind, Draco and Blaise. You watched Chris's face, and you could see him clenching his teeth. He loathed Draco Malfoy with a passion. Draco constantly made fun of his ginger hair, and his muggle background. Draco had never commented on your muggleborn heritage though, which you found slightly odd, seeing as you and Chris were around each other most of the time.

You took a look at the boy who was walking with his mate. His straight platinum blonde hair looked as fine as ever, and as much as you disliked him for bullying some of your closest friends, you couldn't argue that he has very charming. You stared a while longer at the Slytherin Prince, he looked so handsome over break. His eyes were a pale blue, he had a muscular figure that was slender. He had a sharp jawline, and an attractive expression on his face. His white button down and black pants looked perfect as it covered his tall towering figure, and his hand was holding onto a glass of water, his pale, long, slender fingers wrapped around the cup. Gosh I wonder what those fingers could do.

You quickly expelled any traces of any inappropriate thoughts about Draco Malfoy. I mean it was no secret that he slept with many girls in your year at Hogwarts. 

Just as you snapped out of your thoughts, you were about to stop staring at the boy until he stared right back at you. His blue eyes pierced yours, and you were someone who didn't blush easily, but you were sure you were blushing because of the heat at your face. As Draco looked at you a little longer, you noticed that his blue eyes looked happier, he didn't have a scowl on his face, his eyes didn't look like they were filled with disgust, even when they looked at Chris. It was almost like he was a different person, yet the same. 

"Y/n are you okay?" Your head quickly turned back to Chris, and your blush disappeared almost instantly

"Yeah" you said, absentmindedly "Let's... Let's go back to the Hufflepuff tables"

---

Why was life so hard?

It's torturing, that everyday, every waking moment, you have to live up to your families expectations. Even if it goes against your own values and beliefs. 

Life was a dark endless tunnel for you. There was never a way out. With the Dark Lord rising to power, you were up for nothing but sacrifices. It meant sacrificing your happiness, your innocence, maybe even your life.

The only light in your life was the golden boy, the chosen one. He was always there, your lifeline. You knew he would always be there when you needed him. Your anchor, always pulling you back, making sure you never drifted too far.

But the pressure. It was over whelming.

Your thoughts scared you sometimes.

So why were you here.

The tall blonde boy next to you, fear written on both your faces as you had just watched your headmaster fall, murdered in the presence of the one he trusted most. 

Silence bombarded the empty room, memories flooding back. 

Harry told you never to do this. 

---

"Y/n why did you not tell me before?!" Harry yelled

"How was I supposed to tell you! You were only ever going to react like this!"

"But y/n! Dumbledore! He's the headmaster! You can't possibly let him die? Let alone be the one to kill him are you fucking out of your mind?!" He said exasperated.

"HARRY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! It's my family! You know how fucking hard it is to betray family, especially when your  life is on the line" You yelled back, why could he not understand.

"No, y/n I- I'm not talking further about this, I trust you'll make the right decision before it's too late." he said firmly before walking out of the room in a huff.

There. 

That was just it.

Your relationship, it was built on so much trust, he would risk a life trusting you.

It was so wrong, he shouldn't have trusted you

---

He shouldn't have trusted you. 

Because here you were. Shaking, scared, but all in all, a murderer.

A witness. An ally. 

To the death of the headmaster.

You feel sick, because Harry told you, never to do this, and yet he trusted you, trusted you to make the right decision when in the end you were never meant to. Dumbledore was never to survive, whether it was up to you or not.

You walk back to your dorm that day, stomach weak, and head hung low. 

But there he is, the golden boy, sitting upon your bed, smiling at you and you can't help but smile back.

You crawl into the bed, not bothering to wash your hands, even though they are covered in guilt, and the blood, the life, of the Hogwarts headmaster. 

But when Harry holds you it's like nothing else matters. 

He kisses the top of your head, and hugs you like he's going to lose you. 

"Never let go of me" you whisper. 

---

It had been just about two weeks since Theo had broken your heart. Left you crying, drowning in remorse, kneeling by the astronomy tower, for the second time.

What was worse than going through heartbreak? Going through the same heartbreak twice. 

You'd skipped most of the classes you had those two weeks, at least any that either Draco or Theo were in. You couldn't face them. Not in this state, where everything felt so empty, hollow, like someone had scraped out every piece of love in your heart and placed the empty shell back into your chest. 

It was dull. Life had never seemed so grey, to the point where you would cry yourself to sleep, hugging your pillows, pretending that someone, anyone, was there.

You hated it, you wished you were stronger. Wished you could show people that nothing could hurt you, nothing could break you. But love has it's ways.

As you sit at the (your house) common rooms, you contemplate on your next step.

What do you feel? You still love Draco, but you knew he deserved someone much better than you, someone who knew exactly how they felt, someone who would hold a strong relationship for him and give him the world, just like he did for you. He deserved so much more than what you could offer.

But maybe the next step wasn't to jump back into love, after all, it's never ended well for you. Maybe it was time you started to work on yourself. Treat yourself. Show the world that you were strong, that you could get back up again after the fall.

---

So that's exactly what you did.

The next week and you felt so different. So alive.

You were glowing. 

As if you had found something long lost, dug yourself out of a deep hole. 

The door creaks as you walk into your potions classroom. Hair tied, not let down, glasses on, contacts out, smile proud, frown gone. You looked like your second year self, and you loved it.

It reminded you of those simpler times, where relationships didn't matter, only school and friends. 

Eyes darted your way, surprised to see you after two weeks, and you seem so different, maybe not just how you look, but the aura around you.

You make eye contact with your friends, not sparing anyone else a second glance. They smile at you and make space at the table, while their smiles seem happy, they are still worried about you and where you've been.

You don't have to look around to know that people are staring at you, but you don't mind it at all. You feel safe, at ease.

That's until a familiar head of brown hair walks through the door, the same one that broke your heart just a few weeks ago. Your mind was set to panic, as you see Theo, but what hurts more is he's not alone. 

There's a blonde girl, she's beautiful, hanging off his arm like they've been in love forever. 

He makes eye contact with you, cold gaze, no emotion, but you feel tears prick your eyes as memories come flooding back from that night. You weren't upset that he broke up with you, you were upset about how he made you feel that night. So alone, helpless.

Little did you know, there was a pair of eyes boring into the back of your head. A pair of blue eyes, watching the interaction, making sure you were okay. 

Draco.

He never stopped thinking about you. Not ever, since the night you two had broken up. He didn't want to stop thinking about you, it was like everything he ever loved was taken away from him when he lost you. 

You were his love. There was no replacement, not when he gave everything to love you. You were everything that Draco was taught to hate, you weren't in Slytherin, you weren't wealthy, you weren't a pureblood, and yet, Draco still fell for you. He fell for your smile, your carefree eyes, you calm scent, your warm embrace. He grew to love everything about you, you changed him so much, and for so long, he thought that you were his happy ending. 

Draco was forced out of his thoughts when he heard a chair abruptly scrape against the wooden floor. He looked in front of him to see his love run out of the classroom and burst into tears. 

It tore him. To see you like this, knowing that if he never left you, none of this would've happened. 

He didn't know why he did it, why he broke up with you in the first place. Even though you were clearly falling for someone else, Draco never expected that he would actually break your heart, he always thought you would be the one to break his. Maybe he just did it because he wanted to prove to himself and you that he was capable of living without you by his side. But, oh, was he wrong.

He didn't know why he did it.

But his feet took him where his heart wanted. And he found himself leaving the classroom to look for you, scared that he might see something that would break him.

But there you were, knees to you chest, and face low, body shaking as you cried to yourself. 

You thought you were ready, ready to face the world again. But you thought wrong.

It hurt. 

But it hurt less as you felt a warm embrace envelop your small body. Part of you hoped it was Theo, running back to you to apologise, but more of you knew that it was Draco. Because you knew that boy inside and out, and you knew his touch, his breathing, his cologne, his tall, towering body. 

There are no words exchanged.

Yet the silence is so comforting, like something you've been missing for so long.

You look up, face hot and tear stained, but you don't care, neither does Draco. Its been so long since he's looked you in the eyes, been this close to you. He missed it, and he missed holding you like you were his everything.

Draco looks into your eyes softly, and hold his gaze for a few seconds, leaning into you.

The two of you share a short sweet kiss, igniting a fire that long ago burned out. The kiss is soft, but it holds so many feelings, and a hint of desperation. Being away from him for so long was damaging, and you didn't realise how much you needed him until he was gone. 

"What was that for" you whispered, as you broke the kiss. He smiled and held your hand lovingly.

"My love, that was for our happy ending"

---

---

You sit in your bedroom, alone, heart aching as you can hear your parents fighting in the living room across you.

You just came over to spend some time with them in the muggle world since you haven't seen them for so long, but practically nothing has changed. Still the same old screaming and shouting, the same one that haunted you as a child.

You toss around in your childhood bed, memories flooding as you cry yourself to sleep, wiping your tears on the hem of your blanket, where you can see tear stains from years ago; when the same thing happened.

"YOU EVIL WOMAN! WHY DID I EVER MARRY YOU" You can hear your father scream at your mum, followed by her hysterical sobs. 

"DO YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE I AM UNHAPPY? HOW COULD YOU SAY THESE THINGS ABOUT YOUR OWN WIFE!" You wince as your mum retaliates.

You hate these fights. Mostly because its always your dad who wins. You mum will say sorry, her opinions won't be heard. Because she's the woman, she's meant to be weak. In your dad's eyes she is nothing but someone to push around and bend to his will.

Part of you want's to go out there, support your mum, help her fight. The other part of you doesn't want to get involved, because it hurts too much to have to come in between your parents.

You take the third option; go back home to Draco.

You get up, pack your bag quickly and open the door. Staring your mum and dad in the eyes as they fall silent. You don't say a word and exit the door, not looking back. 

You don't want to leave your mum there, you don't want her to suffer alone, you want to stay and cry with her, make the pain hurt less. But it's too much. You don't have the energy to deal with more screaming. What did your mum ever do to deserve this. Why couldn't she just be blessed with a happy life.

Before you leave the driveway, you cast a silencing spell on both of them, so that they aren't able to hear each other or fight more. At least they could get some rest that way.

You sigh as tears brim your eyes as you head home to Draco.

---

As the night falls silent, you insert the key to yours and Draco's apartment. Inside is dark, but you peek into the bedroom to see the nightlight on, and Draco reading a book in bed, shirtless.

You make eye contact with him and he smiles, but a smile fails to form on your lips as tears start streaming down your face, as if you've been holding them in for an eternity. 

Draco's face drops as he sees your change in mood. He quickly gets up and walks over to you, cradling you in his arms as you cry into his chest.

"My love what happened what's wrong" he gently spoke.

"My parents..."  you sniffle "They're fighting again, I hate it"

He shushes you softly, and sways in a comforting manner.

"Are they okay now?"

"They only shut up because I put a silencing spell on them, but..." you start to cry again.

"Baby... please tell me anything" he coos

"My dad" you started "He called my mum an evil woman" you cry again "And said that he wished he never married her" you start to breathe hard and grip onto Draco's arms harder.

"I don't understand how he could say something like that Draco! I-I wish my mum had a better life" you cry, the tears aren't for you though, they're for your mum.

"No one deserves that my love" he whispers "You don't deserve that either, to see your parents fighting"

I fall silent for a bit, calming down.

"Draco?" my voice breaks again "Would you... ever say those kinds of things to me?" you say, feeling vulnerable.

Draco looks taken aback, "My love I would never. I love you too much to say those kinds of things, no matter how angry I am I would never call you evil, or regret marrying you, believe me my darling." he hushes.

"Good. Don't be like him "I wrap my arms around him, sighing into his chest. "I love you" I whisper.

"I love you too darling" he says.

---