we're all so lucky that a cat can be orange. that's such an incredible color for a cat to be

got a good thing going where these bandits give me a half share of whatever loot they pull from adventurers i send their way & the best part is i don't even need to lie or anything since every hero is born with the unshakeable belief in their ability to win a fight against ten guys at once. just gotta say "we've got bandit trouble in the west, let me mark it on your map" and a week later i get $15 from Wulfric the Hound on cashapp

one fun thing about living in the midwest is that they're selling pigs on facebook marketplace. 300 dollars could buy me a new and interesting problem

tbh it’s a red flag that the inventor of chiropractic got the idea from a ghost. bones are like the #1 thing ghosts don’t have

guy working on an artwork they knew would push them technically: what the hell why do i keep doing this wrong. am i haunted by malevolent spirits and such

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

Double text me, annoy me, give me your attention. I love that shit