fuck you (oxfords your comma)

Growing up, older folks would always get confused when I expressed familiarity with media from their childhoods and would act incredulous when I attempted to explain the concept of reruns. They'd be like "How do you, a child of this fallen era, know of Looney Tunes" and I'd be like "Because it has never not been playing on television" and this would seem to be brand new information to them

older people who talk to kids like that are so funny to me because when a kid these days doesn't know about Madonna i'm just so full of despair.

im so tired i could sleep a horse

they invented like 1000000 foods by doing some bullshit to milk

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

If you feel like you look weird or ugly it's really vitally important that you look at yourself really really closely in the mirror and mess with your skin until it gets discolored or damaged and yeah

a middling season 2 of a show you really enjoy can be a kind of dead wife who came back wrong

ariel sang about "bright young women, sick of swimmin, ready to stand" and yet she didnt have any meaningful interactions with a single woman on land!! THE FUCK!!

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

if you want to dress gay but aren’t sure how, you need to focus more on finding clothes you actually like and that make you feel good when you look in the mirror. develop your style independently of what you think looks gayest and trust the homosexuality will follow. it goes where confidence and self acceptance are

we should mandate industrial themed nonbinary names to balance out all of the people naming themselves after trees. throw Anvil into the mix

executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather

sentencing will be carried out at dawn because it's the only time it isn't too facking hot to be out side