BowtiesAreCool01

Erm I'm one week late but happy pride! Maybe I'll decide to be brave and come out as trans to my friends this month, probably not tho, still testing the waters. Same goes for coming out to my family, but I really should come out as aroace to them first, soften the blow yk, "I'm not gonna fuck people and snog em and stuff" followed up by "oh yeah and I'm a man and I'm changing my name." Gonna wait until ik I'll be safe to come out or I'm an adult and in a good enough financial position to leave home before I come out as trans to my parents (so essentially never)

Low-key wish my parents gave me some fuckass horrible name when I was born (other than the full version of my dead name) so changing my name wouldn't feel so bad. (The name I go by is a shortened version of my dead name, it makes my full name (excluding dead middle name) alphabetical AND be 6 letters, discarding the end of my dead first name and my middle name is easy enough because they are horrific, but the rest of my first name is just too cool, and my new name is much longer AND isn't alphabetical, which is lame AF. So sometimes I don't even wanna come out BC the name I've got is too cool, I'm considering staying closeted irl forever and just legally changing my name to my short name and removing my middle name. BUT THEN I WON'T HAVE A MIDDLE NAME. (The shortened version of my deadname is pretty gender-neutral and sounds like a lot of male names anyway so it doesn't make me dysphoric at all)

I actually hate being a closeted trans masc irl so much because wdym I have to go around and pretend to be a boy "[dead name] why do you look like a boy" "are you a boy" "do you wanna be a boyyyy" IMMA FUCKING DIE I LITERALLY AM A BOY!!! and I KNOW my parents know and are trying to ignore it, you had a 9 year old saying they wanted a "boy haircut" and HASN'T GROWN IT OUT SINCE and yet they still gaslight themselves into thinking I'm not a guy. ISTG this closet is GLASS. if it weren't for the state of UK trans regulation and the political climate on LGBTQ+ rn I'd be out already, but I'm stuck in this fucking female HELLHOLE until further notice. FML.