Hija De Tu Puta Madre

The US is crazy bc like so many people have intense conspiracy theories about the government like "I think there's a secret elite group of people who control everything" and you can tell them "actually you're not completely wrong, it's just not a secret group of people, it's a bunch of rich people and lobbyists who are doing it all out in the open" and they'll be like "hmmn I don't think it's THOSE people though. I prefer my racist & antisemitic theories"

They'll be like "I heard there's a powerful ring of pedophiles who are influencing the country" and you'll tell them "I mean yeah that's what the Epstein files are about" and they'll say "no I'm pretty sure this has to do with The Queers actually"

Conspiracy theory no one will ever accept: What if the people secretly controlling the world are the same people obviously controlling the world?

fortune magazine literally keeps a running tally

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

Ah, the fatal combination of having pride in my work but fuckall executive functioning.

20-somethings on this website doing none of the things we’re evolved to do for our health and then wondering why they’re so depressed. (smacking you through the screen) GO EAT A LEAF!!!!!!!! GO CRACK A NUT OPEN WITH A ROCK YOU SAD TORMENTED LITTLE APE

i know this is easier said than done and i do not mean this judgementally but you have to start treating yourself like the animal you are in any small consistent way you can. like imagine you went to a zoo and you saw a gorilla sitting in front of blue screens for hours with no natural light no physical activity no interaction with peers no nutritious whole foods no fresh air no water and a pack of cigarettes. you would run screaming to the local news about the blatant animal abuse. you would be demanding boycotts you’d be sledgehammering locks off cages. do you get what i am saying please go squish your toes in mud

This this this! You're your own zookeeper so stop violating ethics boards

my soft and comfortable mama

SHE THINKS HER LAUGH IS A SONG SO SHE SINGS BACK

@paperstorm

you will live to witness manmade horrors that are completely within your comprehension if you've paid any attention to a single piece of human history but are nevertheless still huge bummers

Does anyone else get a little excited when you're reading and come across a word you don't know and you get to look it up and add it to your vocabulary pile? weehoo! a little treat for me, a little exotic snack

Inshallah they find him.

Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD