book talk

- weak start into the nursing career, immense pressure from highly qualified and experienced coworkers, mental health crisis, quitting dream hospital job overnight after 2 week sick leave

- new soft nursing job, vaccinating children, working with friends, finally developing proficiency

- spending every evening, night, weekend and holiday at home instead of the ward

I went into bedside nursing because that's what I thought I needed to do to survive. I sacrificed my peace for a dogma, that charging straight into personal and other people's suffering will allow me to defeat it once and for all, like a knight slaying a dragon.

I don't think I'd have the strength to go through all of the clinicals if it weren't for that delusion, at least now I have a pleasant and well paying work thanks to that damned diploma

Some of the books read:

Orlando - Virginia Woolf

Listy do Marysieńki - Jan III Sobieski

The Tenant of Widfell Hall - Anne Brontë

I think the one thing "this is going to hurt" did better, is when the narrative abandoned their convention for a second and allowed Shruti to break the 4th wall and say "I'm sorry. I really did try."

I grew to like "difficult" kids, maybe because you're a stranger to them, it's easier to become a "cool"(reliable) adult to them, at least that's how I tried to approach the issue of setting boundaries and staying kind at my job. I'm happy that maybe I did something for one of the boys of this kind, since he waved at me unprompted when I was leaving his room for the night, at my last shift.