#youtumblr

"so, i chose to stay silent"

…..I’m not quite sure, tho…

DANA TERRACE CREATED ANOTHER MASTERPIECE YALL OMG ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!

can we all just say thank you tara for this!!!!!

(the eye contact is so hot, the bi panic i got from this video is literally so crazy)

- matt saying his into middle age woman (so sub!matt)

- the mask kink I LOVE THEM SM OMG

- him being so chill i literally love this so much

- him and tara (not trying to ship but) THEY LITERALLY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER OMG!!

( late post had to get my hair done but here u guys go enjoy 🥰)

Word count 2776

Tags #prank #goneworng #likeandsubscribe #fyp #followoursocial

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Paige leans in close to the lens, a wildly mischievous, scheming grin spreading across her face as she lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper.

"Hi guys, welcome back to the channel!" Paige says, clapping her hands together softly so she doesn't make too much noise. "Today, I am going to do the 'putting my girlfriend's friend on my phone screen' prank. And the person I'm gonna use is Jess. Jess, if you are watching this, I am so sorry, but I had to choose somebody she’s super close to, otherwise it’s not gonna work! If I used a random person, Azzi wouldn't care, but since it's Jess, she is definitely going to notice immediately."

Paige pulls her iPhone out, unlocking it and pulling up Instagram to find a nice, clear photo of Jess.

"Alright, y'all see the vision," Paige smirks, holding the phone up to the camera lens so the subscribers can see her changing her lock screen wallpaper from a cute picture of her and Azzi to a solo shot of Jess. "I'm just gonna leave my phone face-up on the kitchen island right when she walks in, ask her to check a text for me, and let the chaos unfold. Azzi thinks she’s the only one who gets to be a menace on this channel, but today the tables are turning."

She looks up toward the entryway, hearing the distant sound of keys jingling outside the front door.

"Oh shoot, she's back," Paige whispers quickly, her eyes wide with excitement. "Let me go set the camera up by the microwave so it catches everything. Wish me luck, y'all!"

The heavy front door clicked open, and the ambient quiet of the apartment was instantly shattered by the sound of Azzi walking in, her slides thudding heavily against the entryway floor. She had an absolutely exhausted, thoroughly annoyed expression plastered across her face, her eyebrows furrowed as she wrestled with her keys and a grocery bag.

Right at her heels was Max, tail wagging at supersonic speed, entirely oblivious to the fact that he was currently in the doghouse. He was panting heavily, his paws muddy from the sudden afternoon downpour that had turned the backyard grass into a swampy mess.

"Max, you are not going out anymore," Azzi grumbled, her voice dropping into a stern, no-nonsense register as she pointed a long finger down at the golden retriever. "Look at your paws. You literally just tracked mud all over the rug I just vacuumed yesterday. No, sir.

Paige is standing by the sink, completely locked into her role. She acts totally nonchalant, grabbing a fresh carton of strawberries and a bunch of grapes. She dumps them into a colander, turning on the faucet to wash them under the cool running water before transferring the damp fruit into a clean ceramic bowl. She glances over her shoulder, trying to suppress the massive smirk threatening to break across her face.

"Rough day, bae?" Paige asks, her tone dripping with innocence as she shakes the excess water off a strawberry.

"You don't even know," Azzi sighs dramatically. She stomps over to the stainless steel refrigerator, pulling the heavy door open with an exhausted yank. She reaches inside, grabbing a cold water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut with her hip. She twists the cap off, taking a long, frustrated gulp before leaning back against the counter, right next to where Paige’s iPhone is sitting face-up, its screen dark for the moment.

"It's like he knows that he’s spoiled and we can't say no to him," Azzi complains, gesturing wildly toward the living room where Max is already staring back at her with giant, unapologetic puppy-dog eyes. "He was out there acting a whole fool, Paige. A whole fool."

"Well, he is spoiled, and you don't ever say no to him, so he’s really just working with the system you created," Paige countered smoothly, a teasing, lighthearted lilt in her voice as she picked out a plump, dark grape and popped it into her mouth. She leaned her hip against the edge of the island, intentionally placing herself just a foot away from her phone. "But look on the bright side, at least you got him back inside before he dug up the neighbor's garden again."

Azzi let out a dry, unamused chuckle, rolling her eyes as she reached into the bowl to grab a couple of strawberries. "Yeah, keep defending him, P. Next time he decides to sprint straight into the mud right after a grooming appointment, you're the one chasing him down the block." She took a bite of the fruit, the cool sweetness momentarily taking the edge off her lingering frustration, though her shoulders were still visibly tense from the afternoon drama.

Paige knew this was her moment. The stage was set, Azzi was finally standing still in the exact right spot, and the hidden camera by the microwave was capturing every single detail in high definition. Paige reached out, her hand hovering right over her phone for a brief second before she casually tapped the glass.

The screen instantly illuminated, casting a bright, crisp glow across the dark granite.

Because Paige had adjusted her settings right before Azzi walked through the door, the display didn't just show a standard, dim notification banner. Instead, the lock screen unlocked for a brief moment via proximity, fully revealing the bright, crystal-clear, high-resolution solo photo of Jess that Paige had set as her primary wallpaper. Jess was smiling brightly in the picture, wearing a casual outfit from a brunch they had all gone to a few weeks prior, completely dominating the screen where a picture of Azzi and Paige usually resided.

Paige didn't pick the phone up. She just left it lying perfectly flat, face-up, right next to Azzi’s water bottle, and then casually slid it an inch closer to her girlfriend's arm.

"Hey, bae, my hands are kind of sticky from the fruit juice," Paige said, her voice sounding entirely nonchalant, an Oscar-worthy performance of pure innocence. "Can you look at that text that just came through? I think it’s Caroline asking about the morning shoot tomorrow, but I don't want to get smudge marks all over the screen."

Azzi didn't think twice about it. Still humming with the residual annoyance of dealing with Max, she mindlessly set her water bottle down and reached out with her long fingers, grabbing the edges of Paige's phone to lift it closer to her face.

She brought the screen into her line of sight, her thumb automatically moving to swipe up to view the notifications. But the moment her eyes actually registered the image staring back at her, her entire body froze.

Her thumb hovered entirely motionless in mid-air, a fraction of an inch above the glass. The irritated expression she had been wearing for the last five minutes completely vanished, replaced by a sudden, heavy, deadpan stillness. She blinked once. Then she blinked twice, her eyes narrowing as she stared intently at the glowing display, processing the fact that her girlfriend’s phone background was absolutely not a picture of the two of them, but rather a solo shot of one of her closest friends.

The silence in the kitchen became instantly loud. Paige bit the inside of her cheek so hard she thought it might bleed, desperately fighting the massive, hysterical laugh that was bubbling up in her throat as she watched Azzi’s brain try to compute what she was looking at

"Paige, why is Jess on your phone? Is she here?" Azzi asked, her voice a cocktail of genuine confusion and rising suspicion. She actually paused and glanced over her shoulder toward the hallway, as if expecting Jess to suddenly pop out of the guest bathroom or walk through the front door with a suitcase. When the apartment remained perfectly quiet, save for Max letting out a soft, pathetic whine from his cage, Azzi turned her attention right back to Paige, her eyebrows furrowing deeply. "Like... did she come over while I was out? Did y'all do a photoshoot in our kitchen or something? Why am I looking at her?"

Paige kept her face completely blank, leaning over the counter to pluck another grape from the ceramic bowl. She chewed it slowly, deliberately drawing out the suspense, before she looked up with wide, completely innocent eyes.

"What do you mean?" Paige asked, her voice a perfect imitation of pure, unbothered confusion. She didn't even glance down at the screen. "Nobody's here, bae. It's just us and Max. Did you check the message from Caroline or not?"

"I am not checking a message from Caroline," Azzi deadpanned, her tone dropping into that ultra-serious, quiet register that meant she was fully locked into detective mode. She turned the phone back around so it was facing her, staring at the high-definition picture of Jess smiling on the lock screen. "Paige. Look at this. I am looking at your home screen, and instead of my beautiful face, or a picture of us at the beach, or literally anything else, I am looking at Jessica. Why is my friend your background?"

"Oh, that?" Paige shrugged casually, turning back to the sink to wipe her hands on a dish towel, her back facing Azzi for a split second just so she could let out a silent, shaking laugh. When she turned back around, her face was a mask of calm. "I mean, it's just a really good picture of her, don't you think? The lighting from that brunch was immaculate. She looked cute, so I decided to use it for a little bit. Is that a problem?"

Azzi’s jaw practically hit the granite countertop. Her eyes widened, and she let out a sharp, incredulous breath that was half-laugh, half-gasp. She set her water bottle down with a definitive clack, completely forgetting about her rough afternoon with Max as her competitive, protective girlfriend instincts took the wheel.

"Is that a problem?" Azzi repeated, her voice cracking slightly in sheer disbelief. She held the phone up right in front of Paige’s face, tapping the glass aggressively with her index finger. "Yes, Paige, it is a problem! She is my friend! Well, she's our friend, but that is beside the point. You don't just put another woman—especially my close friend—as your phone wallpaper and act like it's a normal Tuesday afternoon! If I put KK or Caroline as my lock screen right now, you would literally throw my phone off the balcony!"

"I would not," Paige lied smoothly, a tiny, subtle smirk finally beginning to tug at the very corner of her lips, though she desperately tried to suppress it by biting her bottom lip. "I think it's nice to support our friends. Jess has been doing great lately. I'm just showing some love."

"Showing some love?!" Azzi scoffed, looking at the phone, then at Paige, then back at the phone as if she were trapped in a twilight zone episode. She shook her head, her long braids swinging over her shoulders as a wave of possessive stubbornness took over. "No. Absolutely not. The love-showing boundaries have been officially crossed. I am deleting this immediately."

She immediately tried to swipe up on the screen to unlock it, but because the phone didn't register Paige's face from across the island, the little padlock icon at the top shook back and forth, demanding a passcode.

"Paige, unlock your phone right now," Azzi demanded, holding it out across the counter like a piece of evidence in a courtroom. "Unlock it so I can change this back to me. Matter of fact, why did you even change it in the first place? What is going on here?"

Nothing, chill," Paige said, waving her hand dismissively as she leaned her elbows against the granite island. She let out a soft, airy giggle that she tried to disguise as a casual shrug, her eyes dancing with hidden amusement. "I just think she looks really cute in this picture, Azzi. Like, look at the aesthetic. The sun was hitting her highlights perfectly, the outfit was a ten out of ten... it just fits the whole vibe of my home screen setup right now. It's not that deep."

"It's not that deep?" Azzi echoed, her voice hitting a pitch of pure, unadulterated disbelief. She stared at Paige as if her girlfriend had just started speaking a completely foreign language. She slowly brought the phone back toward her chest, holding it with both hands now like it was a hazardous material. "Paige. Look at me. Look into my eyes. You did not just tell me to chill while Jessica is currently occupying the prime real estate on your Apple device."

Azzi took a step closer to the island, leaning over the counter so she was fully in Paige's space, the sheer height of her athletic frame making the gesture look incredibly dramatic.

"First of all," Azzi started, counting on her fingers, "Jess is cute, great, amazing—we love her. But she has her own man to put her on a lock screen. Second of all, what happened to our aesthetic? What happened to the picture we took at the beach last month where the lighting was actually perfect and my arm looked phenomenal? Did that just get deleted from the archive?"

Paige bit her lip so hard she was certain it was going to leave a mark, her chest shaking as she desperately tried to suppress the hysterical laughter bubbling up inside her. She looked away toward the living room for a split second, catching a glimpse of the microwave where the hidden camera was capturing every single second of Azzi's escalating protective girlfriend monologue.

"I mean, that beach picture was getting a little old, bae," Paige teased right back, her voice dripping with a completely fabricated nonchalance. She reached out and casually adjusted the bowl of fruit, acting like she was completely unbothered by the absolute interrogation happening across the counter. "We've had that up for like three weeks. Change is good for the soul. Plus, Jess's top matches my phone case. It’s a color coordination thing, honestly."

"Color coordination?!" Azzi let out a sharp, breathless laugh, her hand flying to her forehead in pure exasperation. She shook her head, her long braids swinging violently. "Oh, you are completely losing your mind. You're a menace. I know you're playing with me right now because there is absolutely no way you stand there, in our kitchen, after I just fought for my life with a spoiled dog outside, and tell me you replaced me for color coordination."

She slammed her water bottle down again—not hard enough to break anything, but definitely hard enough to make a loud clack against the stone.

"I don't care about the highlights, I don't care about the ten-out-of-ten outfit, and I definitely don't care about your phone case," Azzi declared, holding the locked iPhone right up to Paige's face again, her thumb tapping the glass so the picture of Jess illuminated the space between them. "Face ID it right now, P. I'm not playing with you. Unlock the phone. We are fixing this before I text Jess and go off on her ass “ Azzi said

"Before you text Jess and do what?" Paige finally broken down, a loud, wheezing laugh bursting right out of her chest. She couldn't hold the straight face for another single second. She completely collapsed forward against the granite island, burying her face into her crossed arms as her entire body shook with uncontrollable, hysterical laughter.

"Don't laugh! Paige, I am ninety-nine percent serious right now!" Azzi protested, though her defensive stance faltered just a fraction as she watched her girlfriend completely lose it. She stood there holding the locked iPhone out like a weapon, her eyebrows still knitted together in deep offense. "I am literally clicking on her contact name right now. I'm going to ask her why she's invading my relationship from a lock screen!"

Paige frantically waved a hand in the air, trying to catch her breath as she pointed a finger up toward the upper cabinets. "Azzi—stop, stop! Don't text Jess! Look up at the microwave!" she gasped out, her eyes watering from laughing so hard.

Azzi froze. Her gaze slowly traveled away from Paige, moving up past the granite backsplash, past the clean white upper cabinets, until her eyes locked onto the small, dark camera lens tucked discreetly right next to the digital clock of the microwave. The little red recording light was still blinking steadily, capturing every ounce of her protective, deadpan fury in crisp 4K resolution.

The kitchen went dead quiet for three seconds while Azzi’s brain did a complete 180.

Slowly, the realization dawned on her. She looked at the hidden camera, looked down at the picture of Jess on the phone screen, and then looked at Paige, who was now leaning back against the sink, wiping tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes.

"Oh my god," Azzi muttered, a slow, incredibly embarrassed but relieved grin finally breaking across her face. She tossed Paige's phone onto the counter and covered her face with both hands, letting out a deep, rumbling groan. "You are a literal menace to society. I hate you so much."

"Y'all see this?!" Paige yelled happily, walking right over to the microwave and grabbing the camera to bring it down to eye level, framing both of them in the shot. She was practically beaming with victory. "I got her! I officially got her! Miss 'I don't care, I'm completely unbothered' was about to evict one of her best friends over a wallpaper change!"

"Hey, cut the tape, cut the tape," Azzi joked, walking up behind Paige and wrapping her long arms securely around her waist, burying her face into Paige’s shoulder to hide her flushed cheeks from the subscribers. She let out a soft chuckle, her earlier irritation completely vanishing into the warm kitchen air. "Jess, if you're watching this, you're safe. You can stay. But Paige? You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Bye guys!" Paige cheered into the lens, blowing a dramatic, double-handed kiss to the camera while leaning back against Azzi’s chest.

"Yeah, bye y'all. Don't let her fool you, she's still the real menace here," Azzi added with a lazy, affectionate grin, finally lifting her face from Paige's shoulder just long enough to offer a big, warm wave to the subscribers. She reached around Paige’s arm, her long fingers gently covering the camera lens to block out the light as Paige pressed the power button, bringing a definitive end to the afternoon's chaotic recording.

The little red recording light blinked one final time before fading to black, plunging the kitchen back into its usual, quiet domesticity.

Paige set the camera down on the granite island next to the bowl of freshly washed fruit, her shoulders still shaking with the residual aftershocks of her laughter. "Oh my gosh, my stomach literally hurts," she gasped, wiping away one last tear from the corner of her eye. "The look on your face when you thought Jess was actually occupying the prime real estate on my phone was absolutely priceless. I'm putting that on the main channel timeline and nobody can stop me."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, P," Azzi grumbled playfully, though she didn't make even the slightest effort to untangle herself from Paige's waist. Instead, she pulled her a fraction closer, resting her chin comfortably on top of Paige's head. "You're lucky I love you, because I was genuinely about to have a very awkward conversation with Jessica about her modeling career and why it was interfering with my peace of mind."

"Admission of guilt! You were totally jealous," Paige teased, tilting her head back to look up at her girlfriend with a triumphant, knowing smirk. "Miss 'I'm a focused, professional athlete who doesn't let minor things bother me' was ready to start a whole house eviction over a basic color-coordinated lock screen."

"It wasn't jealousy, it was principle," Azzi corrected right back, her deep voice vibrating against Paige's back as she let out a soft chuckle. "There is a strict hierarchy for phone wallpapers in this relationship, and my face belongs at the top of the pyramid. Period. Now, open the phone and change it back before I actually get offended for real."

Paige giggled, finally picking up her phone and using Face ID to unlock the device. With a few quick taps, she navigated through her photo library, bypassing the picture of Jess and pulling up the familiar, sun-drenched photo they had taken at the beach the previous month. The lighting was perfect, capturing both of them laughing against a backdrop of rolling waves, with Azzi’s arm wrapped protectively around Paige’s shoulders. With a decisive swipe, she set it back as her permanent display.

"There. Satisfied, bae?" Paige asked, holding the screen up so Azzi could see her rightful place had been restored.

"Much better," Azzi murmured, her expression softening into that quiet, genuine warmth she reserved only for moments like this. She leaned down, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against the side of Paige's neck before finally letting her arms slide away. "Now, since I survived a grueling media compliance meeting, a chaotic run-in with Max, and a full-blown existential crisis over your phone background, I think I deserve the biggest share of those strawberries."

"Oh, absolutely not," Paige laughed, instantly reaching out to shield the ceramic bowl with her hands. "I washed them, I set the prank up, I did all the heavy lifting for the vlog today. You get the small ones."

"We'll see about that," Azzi grinned, effortlessly reaching over Paige's shoulder with her superior wingspan to pluck the biggest, ripest strawberry right out of the center of the bowl.

𓏵 YOUTUBE VIDEO IDEAS

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┆ FASHION RELATED

thrift flipping random items my friend chose me

styling clothes I no longer like

closet cleanout

personalising something (your purse, bike, car, etc)

recreating pinterest outfits

how to find your style/finding my style

clothes Id buy if l was rich

current favourite fashion trends

wearing clothes wrong (scarf as shirt for example

recreating met gala outfits

letting my followers/friends style me

styling my followers

my favourite clothing items

how to spice up a boring outfit

making outfits based on random theme suggestions

upcycling my old clothes

jewellery collection

thrift haul + try on + styling

predicting fashion trends

how to dress more whimsical

weird fashion trends that actually existed

the science hehind why certain colors look good on you (explaining undertones, color theory and how to find your best shades)

only wearing old trends

my favourite trends

letting strangers pick my outfits from a thrift store 

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

┆ ART RELATED

guessing the prices of modern art

playing roblox speed draw until I win

drawing in weird conditions (in the dark/underwater/with your non doninant hand)

recreating famous paintings

trying out different art styles

guessing/making up the meanings behind famous pieces

turning random scribbles into masterpieces

can I spot the Al generated piece

trying to create a masterpiece with the cheapest materials

attempting to find my art style

drawing the same thing in ten minutes vs an hour

redesigning companies logos

redesigning cartoon characters (in my art style)

drawing how I think book characters/places look

painting scnenes from my dreams while telling you about them

making a piece of art only using materials from nature

turning my followers’ pinterest boards into characters/stories/pieces of art

reviewing my followers’ art

trying to draw random characters completely from memory

drawing a self portrait from memory

drawing a self portrait in different styles

rating my fanart

doing random art exercises

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

┆ …EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK CHALLANGES

trying a new hobby...

getting of my comfort zone (doing something uncomfortable...)

going on side quests alone...

trying out new styles...

dressing like 90s movie characters...

doing something nice...

watching a different movie...

letting followers/friends control my life...

listening to a new genre of music...

turning into my favourite characters...

letting my followers/friends style me…

interviewing strangers about their weirdest dream (or any other topic)…

testing out a new morning/night/writing/etc routine…

only wearing old trends…

reading/writing a short story…

watching a horror film…

helping out a stranger…

doing 3 crafts a day…

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

┆ JUST VIBES / RANDOM

trinket collection/favourite trinkets

trinket hunting at the thrift store

whats in my bag

whats in my junk drawer

movie/book/music recs

character customizing (dyeng hair, getting nails done, etc)

reading my old journals

redesigning famous album covers/movie posters

going randonauticaing

turning into my favourite character for a day (dressing and acting like your favourite character)

rating media Ive consumed lately (movies, books)

room/car tour

being productive for a week

reading my followers confessions

doing public dares (with your friend/alone with dares that your followers submitted)

my wishlist

things I want in my future home/things I love in houses

my (month) favourites

weird facebook marketplace finds (+buying them?)

decorating my purse

hobby ideas

weird girl hobby ideas

trying new hairstyles and makeup looks

reading reddit confessions/AITA stories

career ideas if you like…

24h without my phone

replacing my screentime with isolation

putting the same writing prompt in story writing generators and ranking them

opening mystery jewellery bags

short film / short film ideas

stop motion film

the history of literally anything (journaling for example)

what Id buy if I was rich / wishlist

how to take good pictures / picture and pose ideas for photoshoots

rating my old pinterest boards and playlists

playing cozy games

making my room more whimsical / how to make your room more whimsical

attempting to follow a reciepe in another language

random dreams Ive had (+why you think you had them, their meaning, did it predict something?)

guessing how magic tricks work + learning them

revisiting childhood (trying your old hobbies, watching old favourite movies, etc)

trying to write a poem with random words that a random word generator gives me

interviewing strangers about their weirdest dream (or any other topic)

creating my own religion

creating my own holiday and celebrating it

reacting to beauty standars from different countries (and trying to look like that)

trying to do my followers homework

analysing a movie/book

asmr

how to add whimsy into your life

what your … says about you

answering strange questions

journaling prompts/questions for deep thinkers

my thoughts on …

creating a soundtrack for my life

reacting to embarrasing stories

reacting to mandala effects

taking uquizzes

asking strangers “whats the most interesting thing about you?”

letting a yes or no wheel decide my fate for a day 

going out and collecting things for my junk journal 

inventing my own country and language

letting strangers write a story sentence by sentence 

testing creativity techniques for a day

designing my dream life

conspiracy theories that I believe in 

reacting to random conspiracy theories

romanticising life 

choosing 5 things from all of the bucketlists ive ever made and completeing them

taking random personality tests

journal tour

yapping about (specific topic) while coloring/drawing

trying to be more creative

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

┆ RATING MY FOLLOWERS…

…letterboxd top 4

…style

…music taste

…instagram profiles

…rooms

…pictures as kids

…dreams

…deepest secrets

…crushes

…wishlists

…favourite (movies, songs,etc)

hamzah x clueless reader oneshot

friends?lovers

| warnings include - slushynoobz humour, & fluff

‘ fancy restaraunt mukbang vlog’

“alright, intro time. everyone look good?” martin says, holding the camera up as he films you and hamzah, who is dressed in a navy blazer, with his ‘mama needs a blunt’ shirt peeking out from underneath, topped with none other than cargo pants to really tie the look together, you didn’t fight him on his decision, because to each their own.. but you dressed more appropriately to make up for his joke of an outfit. you wore knee-high boots, a slip dress, and a leather oversized bomber jacket with a print on it’s back.

martins outfit was also unserious- the bottom half included dress pants paired with fancy shoes, while the top half consisted of an emoji print zip-up hoodie, with his ‘find x’ shirt peeking through from underneath the jumper. you all stood next eachother, martin in your left, and hamzah on your right. he pulls you in close, arm around your shoulder, and smiles at the camera to do the intro.

a few minutes of walking pass, and martin dramatically informs the camera that we have finally made it to the restaurant.

“welcome to my crib.” hamzah teases to the camera, leaning on one of the grand pillars that stood close-by to the entrance of the restaurant. the restaurant itself looked like it was a castle worthy of royalty to own. the camera turns to you, letting out a laugh, at hamzah's pun, making him smile to himself.

“boi if all three of us put our money together we couldn't even buy the one of those pillars.” you gesture to the one he’s currently leaning on.

martin’s behind the camera, rolling his eyes at you and your jesting, then flips the camera so it faces him “incase you guys are new here, we aren’t picky eaters around here, so prepare to see some food you guys probably have never seen before because- well- rich people foods aren’t accessible to everyone, and every time you guys subscribe to us, we will plant a tree, because trees make paper, and paper makes money so you guys can be rich one day, just like us.” he rants, making movements with his hands, and giving a sympathetic facial expression to the camera, you and hamzah death stare him and stiffle your laughs- letting martin absorb his embarrassment.

“hey- my reservation was booked under my good friends name, khloe kardashian - is that anywhere in you system?” martin tells the receptionist.

i look at hamzah who’s already covering his mouth with his hand to cover a shocked laugh, pointing the camera to martin.

to both mine and hamzah’s surprise, the woman replies with “yes- table for three- for khloe kardashian...” handing martin the reciept that showed our booking number, booking name, and the table we were assigned.

“bro- why would you do that?” hamzah asks martin, still laughing.

“what? i told you- i read that they charge average people more than celebrities, you gotta do what you gotta do in this economy boi.”

“motherfucker they can tell you’re not khloe .” i emphasise, “yeah well i did say she’s my good friend, never stated that i was her.” martin sassed back, as our waitress walks us towards our table.

after ordering your meals, the camera faces all three of us, the order of seating going: martin, then hamzah, then you.

“you guys are probably wondering why mandy isn’t here, and that’s because she refused to leave the house until its spotless, so while we all eat good food, she’s setting a good example to all women, and cleaning” martin explains making unconvincing faces, and expressions during his explanation. which has me and hamzah nodding convincingly to play along with martins sarcastic, misogony-mocking joke.

the mukbang dinner ends up being a mix of gagging at how inedible some of overpriced dishes are- then seconds later moaning at how good the others were.

another thing that the dinner was full of, was hamzahs touch- he would constantly reach over to the tissue box halfway across your side of the table, when he had many clean napkins sat infront of him, he also enjoyed nudging you with either his shoulder, or knee, when he waiting for you to say your commentary about the food to the camera.

but it was all friendly.. right?

outside, the air is cool, the night dark but not too cold. the camera’s still rolling. martin’s talking to the camera about the “world’s most expensive mukbang in history,” but you’re not really paying attention anymore. your feet are screaming from the boots you chose to wear to fit the aesthetic of the video.

you try to keep up with the two friends, but the shoes are becoming unbearable to the point where it’s not cute and unnoticeable anymore.

hamzah senses your discomfort right away, of course. he turns around and raises an eyebrow.

“hey, you good?”

“yeah, just—” you wince and shift your weight from foot to foot, “these boots are brutal, wearing heels through a 30 minute walk, big big big mistake.”

he looks down at your heels, then at his own sneakers, and smirks. “alright, i got you.”

“what?” you start to protest, but he’s already crouching down, taking off his sneakers. “wait, you’re not serious.” you watch as he slips his feet out of the sneakers. “no you’re lying- you are not walking home barefoot bro.”

“dead serious. and no i’m not gonna be barefoot- give me the heels.”

“no way.” you laugh, but it’s already happening. he’s kneeling next to you and sliding the zip of your boots down, completely unfazed.

you step into his sneakers, feeling immediate relief. they’re way too big for you, but honestly? in this moment they’re the comfiest thing you’ve ever worn.

“how do i look?” he asks, slipping your knee-high boots with a 4” heel on like it’s no big deal. he stands up, wobbling a little but making it look… oddly natural. “dude how did your feet fit into that- theres so much toe space in your sneakers for me.” you ask with genuine wonder.

“oh trust me they do not fit, my toes are all getting compressed into one toe as we speak- but its kinda therapeutic.” he defends- unconvincingly as he coughs to cover his pain.

you throw your head back laughing. “cmon- this is torture to look at just give me-” and right as you begin to beg for your shoes back, hamzah makes a run towards martin who was atleast 20 meters ahead of us by now.

the way this man was running, you would think he just learned how to walk approximately 10 minutes ago.

martin’s behind the camera, trying not to laugh too loud. “this is gold, man- girls get yourself a man who would do this for you.” he flips the camera to show your feet in huge sneakers, alongside hamzah and his new heels. “boyfriend material- am i right?” martin nudges you and winks at the camera. “dude now they’re gonna speculate .” you roll your eyes at him “yeah but more clicks and views!” martin jokes and dances his tongue to the camera.

hamzah either didn’t mind the fact that they would get dating speculations- as he just stayed quiet, or he was too focused on the pain in his feet.

probably the second one though.. yeah?

hamzah then grins, obviously pleased with himself. “content for the people.” he winks.

NOTE i hope u enjoyed my first piece of actual writing, if you guys love this I may possibly turn this into a short series, but right now its just a one shot :)

thank you for reading.