social experiment #777

I really am the fucking worst

i hate having BPD when i'm upset it feels like my heart is legit getting stabbed 1000 times, it is not fun at all. I'm upset cos i'm jealous of a situation that isn't even real that i just made up in my head i hate myself

fuck texting, put your cigarettes out on me

Unconditional loyalty does not exist to non BPD people. They leave. We stay no matter what.

is anyone else like....... exhausted? just way too tired? mentally and physically? and you look at other people your age who seem to be doing fine and you feel so dysfunctional and broken because normal adult tasks and responsibilities just feel way too overwhelming and you can’t cope and

Bad? No, I’m not getting bad “again”. This isn’t something “temporary”. This is the state I’ve been in for a long time. But when I become mentally exhausted from all the pretending, that’s when you see it too. It’s getting bad “again” for YOU. Because for me, this is something I have to deal with every day. Every hour. Every moment. I am only showing you the tip of my emotion, because if I let you see it all, you won’t be able to comprehend how I am even existing. You’ve seen nothing.

Might fuck around and self destruct…