Peridot is borderline and hella autistic

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

I’ve been up for like, two days with only three hours sleep so pardon me if I ramble but, I’m currently without a place of residence. Our toilet has finally broke for good and it could take weeks to repair the bathroom–and yes the entire bathroom needs to be done–before it’s usable again. That’s bad. 

There are two things I definitely need to live: A bathroom and free wifi. (Food is the third but optional need in comparison to the other two.) 

And when I say I have no where to live, I mean it.

The toilet ain’t no mere patch job. The entire bathroom needs to be overhauled. As it is, the floor around the toilet is cracked and sinking in at the base. The reason why the pipe has snapped because of how the toilet’s twisted over time (it’s currently sitting at an angle towards the wall.)

My mother’s place isn’t much better and my grandmother is being a shrew about letting me stay at her place because of issues she has with me. (I’m too loud, too explosive, too challenging for her, even though I said I would pay 300 bucks rent–all the government will let me have seeing as I can’t work–and sign a contract that prevents me from coming upstairs outside of food/outings. She could even have my soul as a bonus, she does not care.)

It’s the next few days to weeks that are undetermined.

Since friends are trying to house me, there are some other things you need to know. I am going to visit friends in Montreal for 15 days, on the 15th. (This was already planned before all of this hit me like a broom.) The repairs could take two weeks to two months, depending and were going to start when I leave but they obviously need to start tomorrow if not the day next, for obvious reasons.

If anyone’s willing to house me, I will talk to my worker about transferring rent, which is a max of 300, I’m sorry it’s not more. It’ll have to be from now, til the 15th, and possibly when I come back. (If not, I default to my mothers place.) All I ask is for some space in the fridge for my special needs diet (that I will pay for, I get 300 for groceries) and access to the wifi since all of my friends are online. I am willing to do chores and what else I can to earn my keep during my stay while this mess gets settled.

and it’s fucking killing me because ???  the idea of being annoyed by people telling you that stuff is because those people honestly think that doing yoga and “looking on the bright side” will magically cure your depression, because they can’t imagine happiness not coming as easily to someone else as it does to them.  the idea isn’t that getting exercise and practicing positive thinking are useless ways to treat depression.  but that’s what i’m seeing a lot of now and i just want to say…. i got some fucking bad news, cause that is the treatment for depression.

therapists telling you to get good nutrition and exercise are not the same as your yoga-instructor aunt on facebook posting pictures of the sunrise and wondering how anyone can be depressed when the world is so wonderful!!! thats not just an anti-recovery attitude, it’s an anti-treatment attitude, and it’s unbelievably ignorant.

there’s sort of this interesting circular form to dealing with mental illness, where you start in a place of “i just need to think positively and push myself out of this ditch” and then you move to step 2, which is “depression is a real and very serious illness and it’s not my fault that i’m tired all the time, stop telling me to just “think positive” all the time.”

But then there’s step three, which is where you size up your situation and say “look, i understand how serious my illness is, and i’m no longer blaming myself for it.  And it sucks, and I don’t “deserve” this, and I didn’t bring it on myself.  But regardless of how unfair it is, the truth is that I’m the only one who can actually do anything about it.”  And so in a lot of ways, you end up with parallel ways of thinking as before, but this time you’re coming from a completely different source of understanding.  People who don’t know anything about mental illness say “depression is a choice.”  People who are fed up with being depressed and realize that wallowing in the comforting embrace of self-pity is useful to erase guilt, but ultimately won’t help them lead a better life say, “recovery is a choice.”

The first group means that if you’re depressed, you can just magically decide not to be depressed.  The second group means that depression is a crushing weight on your back determined to make your life as miserable (and as short) as possible, and that you didn’t do anything to cause it, but that ultimately you have the choice of giving up and accepting being depressed for the rest of your life, or you have the option of making an effort to improve your quality of life.  Similar statements, totally different meanings.

But I think a lot of people are sort of seduced by the comfort of giving up, and with the good intention of creating communities of understanding and non-judgement between mentally ill people, social media has unwittingly created communities of mentally ill people encouraging each other to give up.  To just accept that this is the way their lives are, and there’s no possibility of getting better.  And that’s how it’s gotten to the point of people dismissing actual mental health professionals as being no different than some ignorant person who doesn’t know the first thing about psychology and thinks an avocado smoothie will solve all your problems.

Avocado smoothie people are coming from the first perspective, that being depressed is a free choice that you can easily opt out of.  Therapists are coming from the second perspective, where mental illness is a horrible reality, but given that you’re seeing them, a provider of mental health treatment, of fucking course they’re going to give you advice on how to treat your mental illness!  Your therapist isn’t going to sit around and say “yeah man that sucks, haha look at this funny meme about how much you want to kill yourself.”  Your therapist is going to give you recommendations of activities and habits that will help you recover.  And they understand that these activities are not easy!!!  They get that!!!  The reason they’re there is to help you introduce these activities and ways of thinking into your life!!!  Otherwise they’d just hand you a pamphlet and walk out!!!

But you can’t access that kind of help - the kind where you say “getting out of the house is a real problem for me, I never have the energy to get out of bed” and your therapist says “okay let’s figure out how to break this down into small steps, we’ll set a small goal for this week, and next time we meet you can tell me if it worked out, and if it did then we can figure out what the next goal will be, and if not then we can figure out why it didn’t work and try a different approach” - if you immediately dismiss any mention of recovery as “neurotypical bullshit.”

Anyways please please please take your healthcare seriously, get treatment, and realize that giving up and normalizing your depression/anxiety/etc as something that will never ever get better (yes, even if it’s a chronic condition that you’ll never fully cure, you still need to treat it) is not okay.  Try to get good nutrition. Try to get sunshine and exercise.  Try to be social.  Making an effort to do things that will help you is not the same as thinking mental illness is a switch you can easily flip.  Getting treatment is not the same thing as pretending your mental illness doesn’t exist or isn’t serious.  On the contrary, getting treatment is taking your mental illness seriously.  I’m not saying you should never make a joke or reblog a fucking meme or anything, I’m saying don’t use social media as your mental health care provider.  Social media can be a way to vent, but venting is not the same thing as recovering.

I’ve got my boyfriend calling me at 8am every weekday morning to get me out of bed so that I *get out of bed*. I then tell him when I’ve gotten to the gym.

We have worked this out between us, consensually, because I can’t fucking make myself do it. Because depression. But when I get up and go to the gym, suddenly my days get way, way more functional. I eat real food, I run errands, I cook- instead of laying on the couch feeling like my diaphragm got nailed to the floor. (They don’t all necessarily happen every day, but they become at least theoretically feasible.) This isn’t part 1, it’s part 3. Because dammit, I am fucking sick of this shit. I don’t deserve it and it’s a real issue- and for me, having someone to basically hotwire me because my starter is broken is how we’re gonna get a routine that takes minimal spoons to run.

Sometimes depression is cureable. Sometimes it’s just treatable. But dissing treatment because “gah neurotypicals” is shooting yourself in the foot.

Google “Did the Holocaust happen” and a neo-Nazi website is the first result

Googling “Did the Holocaust happen” leads to numerous top-ranked search results from white supremacist and Holocaust denial sources

This includes a top-ranked result from online neo-Nazi site Stormfront, the Guardian reported Sunday.

The Stormfront thread appears before the Wikipedia article on Holocaust denial and a list of common FAQs on the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum’s website.

There is no dispute among academic historians the Holocaust happened, resulting in millions of innocent deaths, and its intentionality is supported by extensive eyewitness testimony and documentation kept by the Nazi regime itself.

In a statement to Fortune, Google suggested it would not be taking action to direct users away from Holocaust denial content. Read more

Click this link and you will be taken to a complaint form. Highlight the Stormfront link with the provided highlighter

And enter a comment to the effect of:

This is hateful, inflammatory, historically inaccurate and completely inappropriate as a top result for this query. It is completely unacceptable.

This will cause the result to be flagged as potentially incorrect, and it should be moved soon.

It won’t be removed, because that is against google’s policy. However, repeated complaints through the official channel will get it flagged as “low quality or incorrect” which should have it forced down a page or two once it has been put through review.