Raging Insomniac

We usually are away that weekend for a car show we always go to, but y'know, corona. We had made plans to order take out sushi and just hang out. But then the project my husband went to help his dad with (trenching out water line to his dad's new place) and had been pushed off for the last several weekends took forever. Instead of being home in the late afternoon, he told me to just come out there. E and I went out there to say hi around 6pm. And then finally left a little after 815pm to go pick up our sushi dinner.

We still got to have our sushi dinner, but that was pretty much it. He was exhausted, sunburnt, and sore and our toddler was wayyy over tired by the time we ate, and they went to bed right after. I sobbed on the couch for a full 20 minutes.

I'm mad at myself for being mad and for being disappointed. But also, I'm allowed to feel my feelings. It was a hard day anyways of my toddler not listening to me, and the things I had been looking forward to got messed up even more than this whole dumb situation had already messed them up.

Our state is starting a phased plan of opening up, and I just am fucking dreading it all. Even though everything is kind of shit, I have enjoyed more time home with Eleanor. I'm trying to work a somewhat more normal schedule going forward, but still grouping so that I'm not just sitting in an empty office.