#BOOTY4EVER

Talk about getting two birds stoned at once lol

Assigned Cop at Birth

@alpha-team-deploy

The concept of relative color can be infuriating.

it’s honestly crazy how many ppl u meet in your early twenties who have never been in love or been in a relationship or had sex and then you’re like oh it’s actually normal and social milestones actually mean nothing bc everyone is different and has different experiences. cool!

The whole concept of "late-bloomers" is just another semingly cute name for the the belief that people have expiring dates and only youth is worth it and I wholeheartedly abhorre it

This is the way you’re supposed to do pranks!

I try SO hard not to make faces when I hear someone around me say wild shit but I just can’t stop myself

I got this joke instantly, whore.

Reblog and share if you understood the joke and OP is a whore of babylon

I fully understand that it's considered rude to sanitize your hands after shaking hands with a group of people, and I just want everyone to know: I'm not doing it because I think you're disgusting and I want to get your internet stank off of me; I'm doing it because I know the statistics about cis men washing their hands.

I'm a strong, capable adult. If I wanted to touch fifty dicks in a single afternoon, I'd do it myself. I don't need your hand outs.

holy shit does this one land differently in the 2020 coronavirus pandemic hellscape

I’m just imagining Edward trying to read Bella’s thought and hearing the dial-up noise.