bootsthecat

at least there’s fucking friends. at least there’s people who love you in this godforsaken world

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

CHOMP!!!!!!

boy are you a werthers original cause i could suck you for about three minutes

but after that im chewing on it

some people are afraid to be cheesy. I live my whole life on the charcuterie board

lacing my blood with poison so when those mosquitoes try to drink from me theyll be in for a nasty surprise

huh. guys i feel a little funny