🧉

yo get off your ass i need you to come up front and call a customer the f slur for me i cant reclaim it

i got jumped on google docs

me after making horrible posts all day: who wants me 😏

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

what do you think i was jacking off to...?

Why do you think it was raining?

two of my coworkers are also roommates which is crazy like haven’t you had enough of each other

this cheese was aged by sending it to the beach that makes you old

It's incredible how annoying lawnmowers and leafblowers are and the sense of relief you feel when they finally turn off. Goddamn.

In the People's Democratic Biotipist Republic, having a leafblower is punished by death. It's the only crime that warrants it.