Loving, Loved, Lovely

my problem is if i enjoy something enough i will be nitpicking. i Will have things to say about where and how it failed. out of nothing but love straight from my heart. unfortunately this often makes me indistinguishable from a hater who has never experienced joy or kindness. such is the amateur critic's burden.

all of my favourite things are like beautiful racehorses that trip over their own feet a hundred times. but they get back up again. and goddamn, you should see them run.

like in general making care work dependent on sentimentality is a fucking bad idea lol, to some extent you can't really prevent the fact that people interacting with one another will probably feel some type of way about each other but esp when you are taking on a role where people depend on you for basic bodily care tasks, necessary medications, proper performance of potentially dangerous procedures &c it's not actually about YOU or your feelings at all & the more you make it into that type of ego trip looking for self satisfaction because youre soooooo self sacrificing and empathetic and you love your patients sooooooooo much -- the less you actually see & think about & serve those patients. never confuse personal fondness for evidence you are doing right by that person -- completely irrelevant & not at all protective against or mutually exclusive of abuse. people who are disliked or dislikable also need care! you signed up to provide it to them. if you cannot do bear to do that and do it fucking well then find a different job