hand on my stupid heart

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

Just found out my preternatural ability to predict doom and death and destruction in every aspect of my life is actually an anxiety disorder and not a clairvoyant gift from god for his specialest favorite most nerve-ridden hyperventilating little girl

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

watched all hunger games movies in one weekend truly cannot stop thinking about coin and snow and the line “I don’t want what you have I want to be you”/“of humble origins and born of the cursed sex, my name is Brutus but the people will call me Rex”

fuck I have so many thoughts. Genuinely how did this series get touted as like “ya dystopia whatever whatever” and perPETUALLY made fun of holy fuck. Like over the past few years I’ve reread/rewatched a lot of series that were very important to me in childhood and most of them don’t hold up but Suzanne Collins. The woman that you are. You see right through the soul of American capitalism don’t you. You see it for what it is! And you said! I am going to write not a love story but a story of survival using love. Not how the revolution will be televised but how we need to be critical about every thing televised. I am going to write a story about how desensitized we are to the death of children because they’re not OUR children. I am going to write about how the two ways to oppress a people are to malnourish them and work them to death AND overfeed them and distract them to death, and we do both. I am going to spoonfeed das kapital along with a sharp, bitter critique of our warmongering government and culture of entertainment above all else to every single American teenager and most of them won’t get it. But maybe a few will. Maybe!

Oh! The intimacy of adopting each other’s vocabulary.