Riley

yall I fucking bled for this peice of trash pls like it 

oh. I thought it was a photo.

Damn it took me 5 minutes to figure out why you wanted people to like a picture of soap. You did such a good job people think you are just posting random pics of soap.

Imagine being such a good artist that people think you’re just an lolrandom shitposter

The realest shitposters are just god teir artists

a guy in a salvos truck yelled at me and my gf while we were kissing today so I was thinking of this

that is beautiful

Holiday reminder: don’t let anyone get away with trying to make you feel bad about yourself.

That’s it I’m out. No more donations. I’m done.

ok but imagine a roomba that’s programmed to react positively when being scratched or petted 

#or a roomba that’s programmed to recognize their owner and drive up to them for no other reason than to be petted

I have a Neato Botvac that has an optical sensor to find its way around (Roombas just bump into things and derps off in a random direction) and yesterday it did its “dee-dummm” sad noise while under the couch, stopped what it was doing, and hummed over to me and stopped beside my chair, with its error message saying, “Please dust me off so I can see.” I wiped it off and sent it on its way, and it did its “doo doo do doooo!” of happiness and finished the living room. It’s never done that before, but I like to think that I’ve gained its trust over the past few months, and it knows it can come to me for help.

let’s normalize using “they” when you don’t know someone’s pronouns.

my host mom in Japan referred to her Roomba as “Roomba-san” and when it would get stuck she would just look over it and softly say “ganbatte, Roomba-san…ganbatte” as it made distressed beeping noises at her

“Ganbatte: Cheer up, Be courageous, Do your best”

This is so pure. OMG

is that a fucking game boy cartridge case?

this is a legit lifehack because keeping a condom in your wallet is bad news. the friction from it being in your pocket or jostled around wears down the latex and can cause it to tear. if you keep one on you in a gameboy cart case that won’t be an issue because no one will have sex with you

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

Nonbinary characters were also included for the first time!

Protip for men: if marriage is a horrifying concept for you and you think it is an evil trap, do not buy a ring and ask a woman to marry you

I’m way over seeing radical feminist bullshit on my dash. This isn’t even social justice or a real issue.

sorry that not marrying someone you dont loathe is radical feminism i guess?

the other bit that this implies is: If you like your wife, act like it. Even around your friends. Be open and honest about liking your wife, liking spending time with her, and not being resentful of the shared work of building a household. Let your buddies know you can’t hang out with them because you’d rather be home with your wife, whom you like, because she is your legit bff, even though you know your buddies are gonna mock you for it. Stand up to your buddies. Tell them mocking isn’t cool and you don’t want them to do it anymore. Challenge the other men in your life to be better men. That is what “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” implies to men who are married. And while it’s all completely reasonable I imagine that it’s scary as fuck when it’s just so much easier to har de har har the little woman’s such a nag, ain’t she, don’t we all hate being married so much? with other men. In that context, “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” is kindof a radical statement.

SERIOUSLY. 

My friend is getting married this summer and when I congratulated her fiance on their engagement he said to me “Yeah well you know, women. This is what they want so you have to bite the bullet.” and my other friend’s husband who was sitting next to him laughed and agreed. If this is how you feel, don’t get married. Don’t propose. Just…. Don’t. Do it. Any of it.

Straight people think that doing things you really don’t want to do - like marriage and having kids - is normal cos they’re still stuck in a fucking 19th century mindset.

It’s why I know my best friend got a good one, he’s open about how much he loves her and he’s excited to be getting married and regularly contributes ideas and has his own input, it’s nice to see

It filters through as well. Even being gay, a lot of my straight friends don’t understand why I spend so much time with my husband. Because I love him? Because I enjoy his company? Because he’s my best friend? I can’t count the amount of straight people that have told me that they think it’s “weird” that my husband and I spend so much quality time together. The only person who understood was my mom, whose response was: “If you love someone and genuinely enjoy their company, why WOULDN’T you want to spend your free time with them?!”

How can anyone look at their impending marriage and think ‘oh no, it’s all over now’ like???? I’ve only felt so close to so many people in my life, but those small few were like?? I’d wake up in the morning excited to be awake just to look forward to SEEING them. I’d catch myself with this stupid idiot grin in broad daylight just THINKING ABOUT BEING AROUND THEM. I’d sleep easy with them in my head, shitty days became perfect once I spoke to them. THAT’s how I imagine feeling again someday. I think about feeling that way for someone again and it’s like the whole future opens up. Marriage is finding your best friend in the whole wide world and wanting to have a sleepover every single day, and to agree to it and then go around groaning like your freedom is being stolen is a HUGE disrespect. If you have the freedom to share your life with anyone you like and you throw it around like baggage you really can’t expect it to grow, can you? You gotta care about yourself a little more than that I think

All of this.

Holy shit I didn’t know that was even a thing. This reminds me of a study I read about years ago with statistics on happiness/stability in relationships of people of various genders/orientations, and straight people were at the very bottom. (And lesbians were at the top! Not a huge surprise, given that women are generally more inclined to communicate and work out emotions and issues.)

Reblogging for the “last chance to run” comment. Honestly it’s so fucking gross.

seriously, how fucked up is a society that expects you to eventually choose a single person to spend the rest of your life with, but at the same time gets confused by the idea that you actually might enjoy spending time with them?

making fun of small dick energy isn’t anti body positive fools. it’s about your spiritual dick. your soul cock. u can have a small dick and have the biggest dick energy in the world. dick energy transcends human form u cowards

What did I just read

the truth