The Kingdom

“Now, bear in mind,” *I pause, allowing time for you to visualize the bear*

i'm trying to flirt with this noblewoman but she keeps asking me to demonstrate my flawless sword technique and i don't think she realizes how much effort i'm putting in to make my tits bounce while doing so

once these 15 million different stressful situations resolve themselves I’m gonna be so normal again. I can be normal and not exhausted

>>> the perfect court the foxhole court the raven king the king's men the sunshine court the golden raven the broken cage >>> the queen's game

I don’t know how we’re letting trump get away with all this shit when I truly believe that if you threw a blanket over his head he would think it was nighttime and go to sleep like a bird

t shirt that says i've misunderstood many social interactions

on the back: please tell me whats going on in a clear and concise manner

booty shorts that ask: are you mad at me ?

nothing more flattering than someone saying "oh don't get her going" in reference to you when a topic you're passionate about is brought up

they dont do recency bias like they used to

they don't make staying up until 3am fun and exciting like they used to

Pro tips from original antifa.

some of you get worked up over nothing - not me though . when i get worked up im correct for it and it is something

hate coming to terms with things. i should be able to cast a fireball instead

yeah I will never get over that fact that there's so much to see in this world and yet I'm stuck working 5 days a week, evil evil life