Bisexual Bonsai Bovine in a Bag

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

gosh I enjoy this website

This is a spot from an italian estate agency (we are governed by the right-wing party)

The woman says "Ridiculous..."

The old lady is not in her home. She is at work. She's meant to be what in Italian is called "la portinaia", aka a cross between a doorwoman and cleaner of a residential building. She's in her small "office" space, at the entrance of the building, from where she can survey the coming and goings of the inhabitants. It's a job that has mostly disappeared, but is culturally very clear to us as having the connotation of "potentially gossipy, one-million-percent judgmental woman who sees everything that goes on in the apartment complex, knows everyone and their secrets, and has Strong Opinions™️".

it starts with them watching a movie, maybe the devil wears prada, and a little way through the movie rocky asks why miranda has two names. is it because she's more important?

grace, already anticipating a long conversation, says no, all humans have two names. everyone's just scared of miranda because her two names are really well known.

"grace have another name and not tell rocky?!" rocky asks, incensed. "what names mean, question? why two?"

"well," grace explains, "your first name is the name your parents give you at birth. usually people call you by your first name, especially if you're close. except in... some situations, i guess," he says, remembering stratt's vat. nobody had called him ryland there, but he still felt pretty close to all of them.

"and second name?" rocky prompts.

"right - last names correlate to your family. when you're born, you take your family name so that people know who you're related to. it also helps differentiate between two people with the same first name."

"so what grace last name, question?" rocky asks. grace blanches a little.

"uhh... grace is my last name, rock," he says, sheepishly.

"what?!" rocky yells. grace winces. "grace not tell rocky grace first name? grace not close with rocky? grace hate rocky?"

"no!" grace protests. "of course i don't hate you! don't say that!" maybe it's stupid, but grace does actually feel a little hurt by the insinuation.

"then why not tell rocky?!"

grace sighs. "i don't know, rock. i mean - when i met you i barely knew up from down, much less what my name meant to me. and i kept getting these memories and everyone kept calling me grace, and i just, i haven't been called ryland in so long it doesn't really feel like my name anymore."

rocky ruminates on this for a moment. then: "...ryland is grace first name, question?"

"yeah."

"rocky like grace better." grace deflates with relief. "yeah, me too, buddy."

"but," rocky says, "rocky want last name too now."

huh. okay, then.

"i guess i could figure that out," grace agrees. "we could give you movie rocky's last name? you wanna be rocky balboa?"

"mm, no," rocky says.

"okay, well we could go region based, i guess. where'd you grow up? i can make up something fitting, or i can look something up on my computer, i'm sure there's places on earth that are similar to places on erid -"

"no," rocky interrupts. "want grace."

"...huh?"

"rocky want grace last name."

grace is suddenly feeling very, very flushed. "you what??"

"last name is family name, question?"

"well, yeah, but -"

"and rocky grace family now. so rocky want grace family name!"

...well, when he says it like THAT, it's so much more innocent. grace... well, he agrees, because what else is he gonna say? that rocky should know that that that's as good as a marriage proposal?

no, that takes too much cultural context, and a longer conversation than he wants to have right now. easier to just let rocky have it. it's not like there'll be any consequences to bite him in the ass, right?

you have been transformed into this dog breed!

Assuming you have good conditions and a loving owner,

(someone also wanted me to do a cat breed wheel but I've been putting it off since April 27th so I'm gonna go do that too)