the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

had a shit day, thank god there’s phone in bed time at the end of the day

lightning mcqueen waking up in an ice bath missing his catalytic converter

but time makes you bolder even children get older and i'm getting older too. btw

hey sorry i acted weird the other day i was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired

(girl who has never told anyone anything) i must just be doing it for attention

They should invent sleep that works

basically i have to stay silly bc the other option is death

sabrina the teenage carpenter

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

truly do not understand workplace drama. we're stuck here doing stupid bullshit for 8 hours and you want to make it worse? But on the other hand I love hearing about arguments that are not and never will be my problem