falling into the sky

Wow my grandfather has no chill. I now see where I inherited that trait.

Tbh I’ve had this in my gallery for a while but only posted it now because of what that shriveled, poison-filled tangerine we call a president said on Twitter.

He called trans people in the military a burden. He called medical costs a burden. HE SAID IT WOULD CAUSE “DISRUPTION”.

Let me tell you a few things, Satan-In-Human-Form

We are not a burden.

Trans people never have been. You say that the medical cost would be “tremendous”. Okay. Let’s analyze that.

(Also note that I’m a fucking teenager and even I can get basic percentages correct you spray tanned piece of termite infested balsa wood.)

So let’s see.

According to a UCLA study in 2014, the estimate of actively serving transgender military personnel was around 15,500.

Alright. Note that there was another study which suggested less trans personnel were actively serving, so let’s use the 2014 survey and go with 15,500 people, just to prove my point.

The average cost for someone to transition as a trans woman comes to around $20,000, according to tgender.net. This is over a two year transition, and note that a transition for a trans man can cost upwards of $50,000 (not including insurance). Afterwards, there comes hormone therapy that the person must continue to take afterwards. These prices are for genital reassignment, as well as aftercare and counseling sessions.

Let’s use the price range of a trans male for financial explanation. Obviously, this isn’t true to real life, and there are trans women serving, but for the sake of comparison to the military finances right now, let’s use the budget of a trans man.

So $50,000. Multiply that by 15,500 people, and you get $775,000,000. Of course, this seems like a lot of money. It’s in the millions, yeah. But let’s compare that to the military budget.

IT’S FUCKING $824.7 B I L L I O N. FUCKING OKAY DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH $775 MILLION IS COMPARED TO THAT TRUMP. CAN YOU DO BASIC MATH?? BECAUSE IF YOU DID THEN YOU’D REALIZE THAT YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT. CAN YOU DO ALGEBRA DONALD. CAN YOU DO SEVENTH GRADE PERCENTAGE CALCULATION. DO YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A CALCULATOR.

Apparently not. So let me make it clear to you. 842.7 billion is, expanded, 824,700,000,000. Compared to 775,000,000. Dollars. These numbers are in dollars. That is 0.09397% of the military’s annual budget for the fiscal year of 2018.

Let’s be generous, and go up to 0.1%.

Still, that is miniscule. This is using numbers that are on the higher end of things, and still, THAT’S THE DENT IT MAKES.

Trump isn’t doing this because it’s financially beneficial. He’s not doing it because it’s a burden. He’s doing this because of thinly-veiled transphobia.

This is the same man who said he would stand by the LGBTQIA+ community during his campaign. So I ask all of you who voted for him:

If he’s broken a promise to this community, what’s stopping him from breaking other promises.

I’ll tell you what. Nothing. Nothing but those of us who speak up.

Trump tries to hide behind buzzwords like finances, but we can see what it really is. It’s a horrible man who promises things to mask his transphobia and misogyny and racism and bigotry. He’s not going to help us. We can help ourselves by going out there- and shutting him down.

TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT A BURDEN. GAY, LESBIAN, BI, PAN, ACE. NONE OF US ARE BURDENS.

—— SOURCES

Number of trans people serving (includes link to UCLA study) : http://www.snopes.com/2017/07/27/how-many-transgender-people-currently-serve-in-the-u-s-military/

Cost for a trans woman’s transition: http://www.tgender.net/taw/tsins.html

me: u know in BTS' hit song "Danger" when the lyrics get that lil GROOVE and "cang na nei no" and in the music video they do the thing where they shrug their shoulders one at a time and their arms are crossed??

them: yeah

me: Jimin's biceps

(Warning for suicide, death, self harm)

I’m not sugarcoating it. A man who influenced so many people, who saved so many, is gone. He was found at nine AM, and appears to have committed suicide by hanging.

He was the lead singer of Linkin Park, and he was the lead singer of one of the bands that has helped me through some of my worst times.

I have considered suicide before. I’ve cried, I’ve cut, I’ve punched walls. Music like the kind Linkin Park has, with raw emotion and about overcoming and being strong and pushing through- that’s what told me I had to keep going. To keep my head up and breathe and know that I would survive.

Chester Bennington was lead singer of that band, and considering the fact that he appears to have taken his own life, it’s hit me hard.

I’ve never been to a Linkin Park show. I don’t own any merchandise. All I have is the songs and the emotions and the associations. I hoped that one day, I could go see them live. I hoped that I could go to them and say “thank you” because honestly, that’s what I want to do the most. Thank that band for giving me something to hold onto. A lifeline. Even if they didn’t know I existed, they still gave me, and so many others, I’m sure, a reason to keep going.

I told my mother about this, and she asked how. She asked how old he was. I told her. She asked if it was a drug overdose. The reason for this is from the type of music I listen to, I guess.

I told her the cause of death, and she got quiet.

She knows that I’ve considered suicide before. And when she learned about the suicide, I think it kind of made her realize that the band wasn’t just a band, because I wasn’t talking like normal. I have a very… distinct voice when I talk about things that are horrible and break me into pieces. It’s mechanical. Monotone.

She hugged me minutes later, asking if I knew how much she cared for and loved me. I do know. But that doesn’t make the thoughts go away.

I don’t think anything will. But I can find things that remind me to keep going, that I don’t have to let those thoughts control me.

Breaking The Habit was one of these things. It was the first song to get me into Linkin Park, and I found it when I was in a really bad place, mentally. It made me break down crying. I wasn’t upset at this, no. I was crying because I’d found something that said to keep pushing forward.

This didn’t follow a track, but I want it to be seen: Chester Bennington had an impact on me without me ever seeing him or the band. Through music alone, I found something to give me a reason. I may have gone off topic, but I don’t care. I’m still here. I’m still breathing, my heart’s beating, I’m alive.

Chester Bennington may have died, but the impact that he’s had will not. I refuse to let it.

Thank you, Chester, for giving me, and so many others, a voice and a hope.