Lost and farting in the backrooms. No almond water for you boy

i heard my nephew got enslaved by cave bugs

wait to post about this until you’ve confirmed it

sorry

forgive me father for I have had a diva moment

oh, did I ever tell you about [thing I've told you about no fewer than four times, opening on exactly this sentence every single one of those times]

I HATE TIME DEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nutsack hanging at an all time low today and it’s only noon

now that I'm about a month post top surgery and the swelling is pretty much gone, it's absolutely insane that chest contouring Isn't included in the majority of top surgery operations bc the difference it makes!!! that dreaded extreme lowercase b shape just. isn't there.

My gnomeliness is killing me

got a good thing going where these bandits give me a half share of whatever loot they pull from adventurers i send their way & the best part is i don't even need to lie or anything since every hero is born with the unshakeable belief in their ability to win a fight against ten guys at once. just gotta say "we've got bandit trouble in the west, let me mark it on your map" and a week later i get $15 from Wulfric the Hound on cashapp