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@bog-bert
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um. i think that will make an even awkwarder silence
do you care her. need to leave work so i can go play with her
Her cuteness unstoppable
Iβm starting to think I need to lock in for a few years and write a 4 book clown smut series and see if that takes my life anywhere new
Her strap is sorta like this-
And instead of making a schlick sound when she deep in it, it squeaks like clown shoes, and when you honk her big red balls she squirts seltzer out the tip. Makes you feel tingly inside π₯°
@bog-bert
Girl, the only thing women care about is wanting to put you into their great beautiful machine that turns you into an unrecognizable beast. It's literally all they talk about.

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trans pride flag color picked from trans pride flag
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and itβs not to watch the shoppers. See, we canβt actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didnβt exist in my household. Itβs normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
βWhat the hell, Iβll take another,β says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. Heβs not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. Heβs not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadnβt spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldnβt have spent any. I go home. I donβt own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.Β
Iβm not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlandoβs walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (βcast membersβ) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even βfaceβ characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
I love how varied and universally weird the circumstances for making lifelong friendships are. Here's this guy I accidentally messaged once and I could not imagine my life without them now. Here's this girl I was so scared of when I met her, I would kill for her and remind her to rest on the regular. Here's this other guy we have so much in common we used to joke we were the same person in different timelines. It took us years to meet in person and I attended his wedding. There are also people who entered my life in absolutely unremarkable ways but changed it forever for the better. It's wonderful how easy it is to find people to love.
This is the best post I have ever written, read the notes and be blessed by loving your friends magic
funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

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They're making pig tunnels vast underground networks of pig tunnels barely fit the beast in pig tunnels tubes of dirt and sand and stone ten to twenty feet down pig tunnels huffing puffing snorting pig tunnels right under all of us pig tunnels pigs weaving in and out of pig tunnels clambering frightened through the darkness for hours pig tunnels and where are the entrances and exits to pig tunnels where do they get the pigs for this pig tunnels
would never have gotten this without the explanation
really quite fond of when scavengers do this. what are they doing. 1499 and 1503 just squishing eachother. what is going on in their minds.,...... gif submitted by @/morebagels :)
I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

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I'M GOING TO DO THIS TO MY BOOBS AS THEY GROW IN TO APPEAL TO THE MINECRAFT PORN CROWD
made this a transparent gif because im in love