I’m really tired of the “Everyone Knew Before They Did” fic. and I HATE the “We Made Bets On Your Sexuality ‘cause We’re Such Great Friends™” trope. Give me fic where everyone was completely oblivious:
AU fic where teenage Sam is so happy his brother finally made a friend at their 3rd school that year. Teenage Sam totally oblivious about Dean and his “best friend” until he walks in on them dry humping in the living room one day and instead of Sam thinking, finally, he’s totally shocked and “didn’t even know you liked guys, Dean, what the hell?!”
Canon fic where Charlie and Sam roll their eyes and share exasperated looks around Dean and Cas a lot because they’re so obviously in love, but don’t know it. But when one of them brings it up to Dean one night he’s does the Stop and Blink because, “dude… we’ve been together for over a year now. You really never noticed?”
Canon fic where the demon-of-the-week mockingly calls Cas Dean’s boyfriend and Dean rolls his eyes and groans, “why does everyone keep saying that like I’m gonna get mad about it? So me and Cas are dating, who gives a crap; the world is ending.” And Sam and the demon are wide-eyed and struck dumb because she was just being facetious…
AU fic where Sam is visiting his brother at college and they go to a party with Dean’s group of friends. Sam’s more than a little buzzed, but that’s definitely Dean and Cas making out across the room, right? Sam elbows Ash who shoves Jo who digs her nails into Victor who elbows Benny who taps Charlie who physically turns Gabriel’s face toward them. The next day everyone is super awkward. Dean and Cas are obviously really hungover and probably don’t remember anything about last night. They certainly aren’t acting like anything is different. It’s not until they’re all feeling slightly better gathered around a pizza in front of the tv that Gabriel breaks the tension. “So, Deano, find any cute co-eds last night?” Sam misses Castiel glaring at Gabriel to watch Dean struggle with that. “No?” “Sure about that?” “Yeah…” “Oh ok, just wondering…” Dean groans, beginning to get frustrated with Gabriel’s smug face, “No, I definitely I came home and fucked your brother–” (“Dean!” Castiel hisses.) “–like I do every night.” “E….every night?” Charlie squeaks out. Dean looks around the room in surprise. Castiel shrugs his shoulders when their eyes meet. “Wait… did seriously none of you know that?”
Canon fic where Claire moves into the bunker and starts going to a school nearby. On her first parent teacher night, Dean is low-key freaking out and frantically searching for his car keys when Sam walks into the kitchen to laugh at him. “You know Cas can drive himself, right?” he says and sips his beer in amusement. Dean glares at him and flips him off before he goes back to checking under the stack of mail they keep on the kitchen table. “Why are you going anyway? You know what they’re gonna assume, right?” Dean stops to squint at him. “That Cas is Claire’s father and I’m her stepfather? That is what it says on her enrollment paperwork.” Sam chokes on his beer. “That… doesn’t bother you? At all? That they’d assume you were gay for Cas?” Dean crosses his arms and glares at his brother, “the term you’re looking for is ‘bisexual’ and I thought we got over this when you went to your first gsa meeting in high school.” “Uh, no yeah I mean, I don’t have a problem with it, obviously, it’s just… you’re ok with that? People thinking you’re dating Cas?” “Well gee, Sam, it’s a little late for that since I’m already dating him whether people like it or not.” Sam fumbles with and nearly drops his beer bottle. “What?!” he starts to ask, but Claire and Cas walk into the kitchen right then. “Come on, old man,” Claire says and jerks her head toward the garage, “don’t be late and make me look bad.” Castiel opens the fridge and grabs Dean’s keys from where they sit on top of the carton eggs. He squeezes Dean’s hand as he wordlessly passes him the keys. Sam can’t believe he never noticed.
AU fic where Dean’s best friend Benny keeps trying to set him up on dates so he can get over Cas, whom Dean’s clearly been crushing on for years, but never making a move to resolve the low-grade sexual tension that follows them everywhere. Dean barges into their shared apartment living room after the 5th blind date and stands in front of the tv Benny’s trying to play xbox on. “Dude,” he says angrily, “if you have a problem with Cas say something to my face.” Benny stares at him with his mouth hanging slightly open while his character gets shot to death in the background. “Come again?” “You’ve been sending me on dates without telling me. I can’t believe you would disrespect Cas like that.” And Benny’s brain has to reboot a minute because, “cher, are you trying to tell me you’re dating Cas?” And Dean just looks at him so exasperatedly because, “duh since before I met you. Don’t act like you didn’t know.” But he genuinely didn’t and can still hardly believe this is was resolved sexual tension between the two of them looks like.
Canon fic where every time Dean tries to talk to Cas privately on the phone, Sam walks over. “Is that Cas? What’s he saying?” until Dean caves and puts him on speaker. After the fiftieth time this happens Dean jerks away from where Sam is practically trying to press his ear up to the other side of the phone. “Jesus Christ, Sam,” he says through gritted teeth, “can I get a little privacy?!” “What? Why?” Dean glares at Sam, “why… would a man want to have a private conversation with his boyfriend who he hasn’t seen in three weeks? Really? I thought we had the birds and the bees conversation when you were 11, dude. Do we really need to have it again?” Sam slowly turns red as that sinks in. “Boyfriend?!?”
AU fic where Dean announces after Christmas dinner back home surrounded by his family that he and Cas are engaged and everyone stops talking and stares until Sam breaks the silence with an awkward, “don’t you think you should try dating first? What if you and Cas don’t get along like that?” Dean gapes at each of his family members in turn because what. the. fuck???? “Cas and I have been dating for 5 years.” Jess thinks it’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened and she falls out of her chair laughing at everyone’s shocked faces because literally no one knew. FOR FIVE YEARS! “Jesus Christ we live together!” “We thought he was your roommate, sweetie…”
