awaiting consciousness

discord letting you have custom emoji has really ruined my ability to communicate effectively on other apps. what do you mean i cant send jalute. what about givehand. cryingpat. torment. sittinghere. tvek. cant even send my wonderful beloved frogheart. whats the bloody point

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

Fucked up that if you make a minor social blunder you can't ask the person if they hate you forever now because that within itself is another social blunder

has anyone seen my sharp rock? i left it in the river for 100 years for safe keeping and now i can't find it. its many uneven edges have sentimental significance

joining the war on pigeons on the side of pigeons

"this quote was attributed to me. perhaps as a punishment." -dostoevsky

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.