morbid curiosity

honor and passing share a theme, the irrational jealousy over a child getting attention. while in passing's case it was due to the accumulated trauma of having lost so many children, and the separation of clay's parents due that, as well as his own slightly selfish demeanors (not justifying arthur, just stating that part of clay's character that is important to nderstand him entirely), in honor, orel is seeking someone who shares a connection with his father, someone that clay had deemed "his"

clay has admitted to hoarding, specifically, people. he doesn't love bloberta, cannot stand her, but he has become so irreparably co dependent to her that in his eyes, he "keeping" her, truly means he is a better man, even if in nature he stated that he hated himself, and that in sacrifice, "you made them love you." and for him, Danielle loving him so spontaneously, is something he cannot lose. and something hindered by orel, who is getting the attention, the "love" he so rightfully deserves, given that clay measures affection with the image of his mother, and when bloberta drifted from it, Danielle entered.

I am not condoning Danielle's manipulation of Bloberta, stalking, abusing his position to get close to Clay, almost sacrificing Orel. But I am expressing that, by observing that Orel is not "the cure" but rather something linked to Clay and yet someone so different. The miracle, that Putty talked about. Now, Danielle is not much for miracles, but rather chances and gambles. And Orel is a winning gamble, a lucky strike that he cannot explain.

And in that constructed happiness, Clay is becoming like Arthur, dragging a taxidermized bear, trying to impress Danielle, who is giving preference to the child, in platonic affection. But because Moralton has no awareness of simple, platonic affection, it is confusing and enraging to him. Because he cannot truly understand it. Someone that loved him is leaving him for his child, and in his mind, it's like watching a picture of himself and his mother looking at baby pictures from a chilling distance.

Passing and Honor share the horrible misconception of affections. Of twisted ones, and others based on grief. As loving in only one way, and that way shouldn't go to the children, going back to the very first episode: "I love you enough." An admittance that the affection and love is destined for adults, and children take the scraps.

that he doesn't understand why spock is betraying him, and the more things unravel, the less he seems to grasp it, and after tarsus iv, having someone so unconditionally loyal brought him a comfort that is being pulled forcibly out of his grasp. like vertigo. a free fall into reading spock's mind in a way he's never thought he'd ever have to.

arthur puppington raises the very complex dynamic of being one of the roots of clay's continuously abusive behavior, but, he is also the very first genuine connection orel ever had with an adult when very young. his position in the puppington family raises the question of, "why, as such a horrible father, he can give orel a slight of proper guidance?" Is it the distance? Orel being not his son, but something close to being one? a second chance? someone that is not clay, and he finds himself trying to connect with orel, because he is so unlike his son, and yet, there is a pull to him. Obviously because of the stance of both arthur and clay that the blood, when it comes to family is the only way to determine the worth of the children.

he feels sorry for orel, for the way he is being raised, so he offers advice the best way he can. orel is a sweet, unassuming boy who does everything everyone tells him to do to appease the others, and make them happy. he lacks direction, and his purpose is whichever anyone tells him. and yet, arthur was a terrible parent, shaping the nature of clay, and what orel would suffer later.

so arthur dying in orel's bed, posing the question of why would god take his grandfather from him, is a discussion that is key to, not only further understanding clay and orel, but also the progression of breaking the toxic cycle that is shown in "honor". i'm not condoning anything that arthur has done, or his terrible absence in clay's life, but i am saying that dismissing his slight positive impact on orel's life is something to consider when dissecting orel's behavior along the series.

what stuck out to me was orel's dialogue in narcissism, when he says that he wouldn't mind dying in his grandfather's bed, stating the high regard in which he holds arthur. if he ever where to die, he would like to die somewhere else, with someone he loves. orel's connections with adults have been misguiding, and in very little cases, genuine and loving (like stephanie), so having one of the few people in his life that he loves being taken from him, not only brings out the fact that he is starting to slowly dread his house, but also, and most importantly, his own father.

being placed after honor, narcissism would be the counterpart of being faithful. accepting loss in life, not as punishment, but as part of life itself. that god is part of the world, but he doesn't control anything, or anyone. and the tragic death of his grandfather is something that happened. because there is no fate. no accidents, but there are miracles. because people are capable of making miracles around them. hope in other people, can lead in having faith in goodness again.