i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!
Another thing (meant as an addition, not a correction).
Not all survivors know they have been raped. Because very often we imagine Sexual assault as well... sex. Violent, unasked for sex, but not that different from consensual sex. It sometimes sounds like an overreaction to call something rape, so victims play down their experiences. And amnesia is a common psychological reaction to what happened.
So, not everyone knows what they've been through is rape or even abuse. Some people have normalised the way they've been abused and think the terms mean something far worse than what they've experienced.
Calling it what it is, IS important! It's the key to understanding your worth, to unlearn acceptance where you should violently defend yourself.
Censoring is the reason that this happens in the first place. 'Don't call it that' is the same as 'hush and endure'
Naming it for what it is is the first step into healing. Don't deny victims that step.

















