lauki bedevils me

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

Weird random thought in the shower this morning. Xie Lian's heavenly title is Xianle, the name of his kingdom. Banyue is named after her kingdom, too. They both feel like total fuck ups who screwed over their homelands. I have no idea what it means or if that's just a common thing in ancient fantasy china but anyway. Thought I would mention it before I forget again bc I just found it an interesting choice.

Thinking about places being symbolic of people and how banyue was torn apart emotionally and physically by the two sides of her mixed heritage forced to become a symbol for a civilisation that used and abandoned her and how that mirrors how Xianle used and abandoned Xie Lian. They were both so young so had the weight of their respective nations literally placed on them with their names and when they crumbled under the weight their nations fell because a single person can’t be responsible for everything but they now have to be followed by that shame for the rest of their existence their titles are their biggest failures and everyone who says their names reminds them of their failures again and again. Ugh. Free them.

i still feel like, compared to xie lian's dynamic with mu qing, his relationship with feng xin was underdeveloped. Or rather, their reconciliation. There was almost nothing signaling a new start in the relationship and it's such a shame considering how terrible their seperation was , and yet not a single scene of feng xin actually coming to the realisation that xie lian wasn't losing his mind and was actually being haunted by bwx. i expected something, an apology, a question about what really happened back then, and nothing. I really like xie lian's bitterness aimed at himself upon realising he never had the slightest idea about jian lan or how he never asked, because despite us the readers yelling well you couldn't have noticed during all that that's not what xie lian thinks and it's such an important moment for them, so i cant believe there was nothing from feng xin's side. He shows remorse through his actions,yes, albeit in a very messed up way of being straight up unable to comprehend the fact that xie lian does in fact know what he's dealing with with hua cheng, and misguided as his actions may be they stem from his guilt so WHY was there not half a hint of a reconciliation. A discussion. Anything? The xl/mq confrontation and their dynamic in the following scenes was so good at portraying a new start, far too different from their previous one but one nonetheless. Imagine how good a xl/fx would have been. Ah well