nothing like a good feeling

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

writing music for a party I'M throwing for my thirtieth birthday where i gave everyone show and tell homework and realizing i don't like writing music at all. which is an acceptable outcome for my party with homework but i still have to finish this thing. that's fine

did a test run of this song for my roommates and it was well received but i've decided that it would be less embarrassing to just drill holes in my ceiling and hang myself in front of everyone. for my 30th birthday

i want the ability to instill disparate concepts onto animals (the concept of houses, warts, midnight, etc) and like spend an afternoon throwing one concept at a time into a boar's brain and see how long it would take before you see the boar become visibly distressed as it starts connecting ideas together but has nothing to do with them

boar has learned about the concept of alimony at 2:39pm. boar understands alimony is connected to marriage (learned at 12:02pm) but doesn't know what divorce is yet. boar has conceived of the idea of truffles (knowledge intrinsic) being divested from him as a result of alimony but doesn't know how to anticipate or avoid it. boar has begun loudly grunting and tamping its hooves.

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

Important personality test. What kid were you in gym class? I was the try hard who took it too seriously