myrninerest

these things i'll be until i die -_-

I want the person I was when I attempted sobriety or moderation to die

Got really internally upset tonight hearing ppl talk about their first experiences with drinking alcohol as older teenagers late high schooler early college at parties and so on and withheld that my first experience with alcohol is drinking as much birthday cake flavored Smirnoff vodka as my body could tolerate as a 12 year old alone living with parents who just kept endless amounts of liquor that they didn’t monitor or care about in general areas of the home and feeling uniquely excited the next day at school over feeling hangover symptoms

Enjoying an emotional landscape regarding the works of Lil Ugly Mane that I haven’t felt since I was a teenager

cold approached random guy at the karaoke bar doing “lake of fire” by asking if he was doing nirvana or the meat puppets and he said nirvana - bearing in mind I used to do “lake of fire” at karaoke but it was meat puppets. and it didn’t matter anyhow i was only asking because he was doing “lake of fire”. Humiliating endeavor