With NASA announcing their streaming service NASA+ and also announcing it’s going to be free and also ad free, I’d just like to appreciate the lengths they go to make scientific knowledge and exploration as available as they possibly can.
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I already made that post a while back but it bears repeating: you need to rid yourself of the idea that fandom is some kind of natural phenomenon you have no power over. Fics don't sprout out of existence the same way rain starts falling. Ships don't become popular the same way hurricanes grow. It's people who make art of your blorbos, it's people who get into shipping and headcanons and such.
Which means that you, personally, have the power to influence how shit go in your fandom. I often see people complaining about how "urgh why is this ship unpopular" or "why isn't there more content about xyz" and such, and while I certainly understand the sentiment you have to realize that you can change that. You can make art yourself. You can commission someone to make art for you. You can post headcanons or concepts or ideas online, even if they're not prettily worded or only half-finished. You can encourage people who do create the shit you wanna see by sending them nice asks, or reblogging their stuff, or commenting on their fics.
Trying to shame or guilt people into not making what they like in favor of doing what you like is a doomed endeavor (as well as a dick move.) However, being loud and passionate about the shit you do like can go a long way- I say this as someone who got multiple people to ship characters who have never interacted in canon. You can do it! It costs nothing to try! I believe in you! :)
Somebody mentioned in a tag on one of my posts the scene where Marco Animorphs is showering after antmageddon and he finds an ant stuck to his hip by the pincers where it presumably was trying to bite him in half when he was an ant and then it died from him becoming very big very fast and I feel like that scene, and the scene where Cassie finds a sliver of a sentient person’s flesh between her teeth while she’s flossing and then flosses until her gums bleed, really deserve recognition in the literary canon. Applegate deserves an award. There should be a TV Trope named after whatever the fuck that is. Like fridge horror but diegetic. Bathroom horror. Your bedtime bathroom routine as an opportunity for personal confrontation with the violent detritus of the dead which lingers in and on your body even after you have ostensibly stripped yourself of weapons and healed over all your wounds.
Applegate said I know that the adolescent experience involves a lot of being alone in a room with your body (often but not always the bathroom) and becoming aware of something incredibly alarming and, hear me out, what if that thing was either uncontrollable weirdly gruesome bodily metamorphosis or physical fragments of things and people you’ve killed. And whoever she was in a pitch meeting with said sorry lady I wasn’t listening to you but you can just put whatever you want in these books, no one cares as long as you meet deadline
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I love it when anons/guests find my works and kudo/leave reviews, but given the new revelation that Elon Musk is using bots to mine AO3 fanfiction for a writing AI without writer's permission, my works are now archive-locked and only available for people with an AO3 account.
okay guys i'm having a brainrot on my way to work about goncharov bc of all your sexy meta posts but i haven't seen a single one talking about the flowers in this film so indulge me
so i'm a florist right ? my n°1 passion when i watch a movie or a show is to trashtalk the flowers bc 99,9% of the time they look like shit. like. i made better arrangements during my first year of training. it makes me sad. yes goncharov is a brilliant film in itself but it gets a whole star just for the fucking flowers (i can't find the florist in the end credits if anyone knows pls tell me ??)
like we're talking thierry boutemy in marie-antoinette (2006) levels of artistry. all the arrangements are so BEAUTIFUL and i'm gonna talk about them. it will ofc mostly be about katya lmao bc men yet have to express themselves through delicate floral jewellery (i wish they did though. i am waiting). katya doesn't have that many lines for a main character but her presence and the colours speak for themselves. sorry i'm on mobile i don't have any pictures
alright so of course you have the wedding. everything is so fucking opulent it's a cascade of wealth you have almost no foliage at all except eucalyptus and that shit is expensive. there are more peonies than you could ever count and the roses are soooo beautiful (i think most of them are juliet peach roses but i can't be 100% sure) like. i could smell it from my couch it was as if i was there aaaa the fucking wax flowers and scabiosas i love scabiosas so much !! and the perfect balance between flowers of different sizes !!! it was wonderful i mean you've seen them
but what i love about these arrangements is that they're all in white and yellow. it's an unusual combo for a wedding even if white is a classic wedding colour in western cultures and yellow isn't so weird at the heart of summer. yellow is however also the colour of jealousy and betrayal and idk if you ever noticed but andrey's boutonniere is the ONLY ONE that is just yellow. you don't have the white carnation (associated with love. screaming) on it like everybody else. also note that katya's bouquet is only white which is all about purity elegance etc. i do think however that the colours of andrey and katya's flowers on that day are more about the way goncharov feels about them at that point in the story, rather than their own feelings.
we also see katya wear several decorated combs in her hair throughout the film (idk enough about hair stylism to comment of the haircuts themselves so i'll stick to the flowers). the first we see are pretty simple and not rly noticeable, white and pastel pink, typical discreet but feminine stuff. p much like the rest of her wardrobe up until the boat scene where things get interesting.
this is where katya meets sofia who is wearing that rly fucking gorgeous burgundy (ambition, power and wealth) dress and look i know monica bellucci can wear anything and be beautiful but fucking hell. i mean i'm gay but i briefly questioned myself for a second there. anyway. the boat shenanigans happen and once katya goes back home and pretends she didn't almost get fucking killed, the flowers in her hair are burgundy. i mean i know we have the fruit market a bit later but the comb is what sold me on that ship. i see you katya
when she almost shoots goncharov (if we were rly in love you wouldn't have missed AAAAAAA i'm normal) she has a super pretty mix of blue hydrangea/eucalyptus in her hair. blue is the colour of control and tranquility and i thought it was very sexy of her. she still has them when sofia leaves her and i love how you can see the tears about to fall down her cheeks but she doesn't allow it. things got out of hand but she's not willing to lose control of herself in front of sofia and i think ultimately it's what fucked things up between them but i try not to think about it too hard
what DOES however keep me awake at night is that martin scorsese rly thought it was okay to have red bouquets everywhere made in the exact style of goncharov and katya's wedding in goncharov's home when andrey shows up to kill him. i mean the subtext isn't even subtext at this point it's like saying point break isn't gay but the flowers are the fucking cherry on top. andrey shoots him and he doesn't miss because he loves him and in case you're too dense to understand that here is a decadent display of red and burgundy. it is the colour of love it is the colour of violence and in their case one simply does not go without the other and i am so fucking normal about this
I'm not joking. I think the best way to absolutely relish in a joke is to push it as far as you can, and in this case that means "write a screenplay based off a movie that doesn't exist by an Italian-licenseplate screenwriter".
So let's write it.
My credentials - I'm a professional screenwriter and playwright with a handful of decent credits. I also am about to have a lot of time on my hands. However, I am not as familiar with Scorsese/crime film-flavoured writing as I would like.
That's where you come in.
Have some free time? Want to bang out a 3.5 hour long screenplay in the next few weeks from a set of hazily constructed plot points, homoerotic scene paintings and shitposts, shaping this concept into something that is simultaneously real and not real?
I absolutely do.
Hit me up if you're interested. If I get enough interest we can make this nonsense a reality. I anticipate it being a decently fast write - gotta stay on top of the popular thing, so just fyi.
Okay, I've run out of time but here's my (non)comprehensive breakdown of Goncharov (1973) after two hours of scrolling the tag. Tag me in stuff you think should be added here, or send them my way otherwise. Especially if you find the original posts for any of these facts!
(Note for the uninitiated: This is about the fake film Goncharov (1973) that we as a collective came up with, feel free to come up with your own crazy ideas about the film. It is not real, we're all just enjoying ourselves.)
Basics:
Goncharov (1973)
Written by Matteo JWHJ0715
Produced by Domenico Procacci
Directed by Martin Scorsese
Composed by Alexander Lasaranko (by @we-arerevolutionary here)
Originally had a 9 hour long director's cut
Original film was about 3 and a half hours long.
Returning to theaters for a limited time (by @huffy-the-bicycle-slayer here)
40th Anniversary Restoration (by @jpegchacek here)
50th Anniversary Remake (by @weijiangling here)
-Starring Adam Driver, Florence Pugh, Misha Collins
Remastered & Restored in 4k (by @dollopheadsandclotpoles here)
Named Characters:
Mikhail/Ivan Goncharov - Robert de Niro
-Main character
-Goes by Lo Straniero sometimes
-Everyone gay for this bitch
Mario Ambrosini - Al Pacino
-Ambrosini isn't his real surname
-Also has some homoerotic subtext with Goncharov
Andrey Daddano - Harvey Keitel
-Killed Goncharov
-Killed Goncharov's whole family (?)
-Has homoerotic subtext with Goncharov
Valery Michailov - Gene Hackman
-Katya's brother
Katya Goncharov - Cybill Shepherd
-nee Michailova
-Goncharov's wife
-Sold Goncharov out
-Left russia when she was sixteen
-Tries to shoot Goncharov at some point (misses?)
-Dies at some point (before Sofia?)
Sofia
-Dies at some point (?)
-Has homoerotic subtext with Katya
Ice Pick Joe - John Cazale
-Apparently got the icepick from Sofia who had it as a memento from her father? (here)
Bruno
-Gets shot at one point in the movie
-Supposed to be hateable with valid reasons.
Giacomo
-???
-Cheesemaker
-Coonected to Ice Pick Joe
Laura
-???
-Daughter of Mario (?)
-Falls in love with Goncharov in disguise
Mirko
-???
-Dies in the first half hour of the movie
Patchka
-Cat
Unnamed Characters:
Fruit Stand Guy
-Part of the infamous apple scene (here)
Scenes:
(Not in a particular order, I just wrote them down whenever as I found them)
Iconic Backstory Scene (by @cloudmancy here)
-Goncharov makes his first kill
-"You see it, don't you? You've become a monster too."
Clock Scene in St Petersburg
Beer Bottle Scene
Smoke Break Scene
Bridge Scene (script page by @thealogie here)
-Goncharov lights Andrey's cigarette with his own?
Train Scene (gif set by @illogicalsarek here)
Deleted Scene (by @rabdoidal here)
Bedroom Scene
Chase Scene
Whatever The Hell This Is Scene (by @spacesweepers here)
Apple Scene
-Andrey talks about taking Goncharov to his lake house
-Andrey tells Goncharov the truth about his father
Anchovy/Sardine Scene
Dress Up Scene
-Sofia changes into a cocktail dress
Casino Scene
Courtroom Scene
Pearl Necklace Scene (by @citrusllad here)
-Katya & Sofia hold hands
Boat Scene
-"You look better in red" - Sofia at Katya (by @foervraengd here)
Final Sequence (original screenplay by @dreamimpcssiblethings here)
"I wonder why we always meet at the edge of things." - Goncharo
(by @fanyeline here)
"Of course we're in love. That's why I tried to shoot you." - Katya
"If we really were in love you wouldn't have missed." - Goncharov
(by @powerbottombrucespringsteen here)
"It was worth it. For you, it was worth it." - Goncharov's last words, to Andrey
Screencaps:
By @troubledtealover here
By @goncharovcaps here
By @itswickedheadache here
Gayle (by @chobanibonnieandyanni here)
Unus Annus (by @gigi-the-bear here)
Stranger Things (by @demonsandpieohmy here)
Supernatural (by @officialqueer here)
Scores:
Main Theme by @caramiaaddio
Main Theme (End Titles) by @if-only-angels-could-prevail
Main Theme (Reprise) by @raccoonfink
The Bridge Breaks by @nicewizard
The Clocktower by @dungeonmastersconsortium
Farewell Scene by @levuna
Tempus Fugit - “Clock Theme” by @trupowieszcz
Goncharov Theme in Minor by @mapplejuice
Katya’s Leitmotif (Vinyl Rip) by @unscharf-an-den-raendern
Andrey’s Theme by @the-frosty-mac
It Is True (Extract) by @hex-of-els
Memories Of Water - Goncharov Soundtrack by @rismrus
Katya’s Sonata by @arcanistvysoren
“For My Love” Andrey’s Serenade by @shits-getting-weird
Stolen Time by @avatar-of-the-vast
Sharing A Dance by @the-frosty-mac
In The Boathouse by @madame-karenina
What Was And Will Be by @piano-flute
Overture on the Clocktower by @dead-minecraft-fandoms
Privyet Goncharov by @rismrus
Goncharov’s Gun by @netcup
Sofia’s Serenade to Katya (deleted scene) by @melongumi
Dockside #2 (unreleased) by @reptilemodernism
Unnamed Fragment from Goncharov’s death scene by @quizshow1994
Palace Dance Scene by @lostlovepunk
Waltz of the Pearls by @raynaonyourparade
The Courtroom by @traegorn
Bonus:
Cover of the song Goncharov (2010) by @idiopathicsmile
At Goncharov’s Gate (PC Version) by @badgraph1csghost
One of the official trailers by @talkshowhost1996
(extra thanks to @thisisnotjuli for compiling most of these)
the line “would you stop saying you’ve got nothing left? I’m right here, [name], I’m right here.” is so raw you’d think it’s from self-insert mafia slashfic or a gay porno where a bodyguard sucks his boss off on a helicopter ride but it’s actually from goncharov (1973) presented by martin scorcese
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