i didn’t know you were keeping count

my favorite thing about ilya is that he lives in a 100% glass house both figuratively and literally and his hobby is chucking stones at people as hard as he can. ilya voice, ask me if i give a fuck!! fuck you and fuck me too!!

picture this it’s shane’s first time in a centaurs locker room pregame. captain ilya is giving his pregame pep talk in typical rozanov fashion. shane is discovering something about himself in real time watching ilya yelling and getting up in the guys faces making them nod in agreement to his words. ilya gets to shane as he’s rambling on about “i want to fucking win!” and then is like “you get that, hollander?” and shane is nodding slow and dazed and a “yes, sir” comes out without thought and then ilya and shane are staring at each other in complete silence for a long second heavy breathing before someone clears their throat and ilya snaps out of it and goes back to his hype speech.

at home afterwards, they go to their bedroom and they just stare at each other in the entry way because the sexual tension has been doing all fucking night and shane drops a breathy “what now, captain?” and Ilya just leaps at him and fucks him so possessively and with so much force Shane has finger print bruises and can feel it for days after

thinking about one of roz's players going "ugh hollander you're so lucky you're married, he's way meaner to us" and shane biting his tongue in half because he's torn between going you don't want to know how mean he is to me and also being like fuck you actually you don't deserve him being mean to you (this is an insult)

shane would 100% start a fight with ilya that’s like. “i just think you need to stop bullying the guys. they’re going to think you’re flirting with them.” and ilya is like, “solnyshko, just because i bullied you into bed does not mean everyone likes that. you are the only one who gets hard when i shove you around and call you names.” and shane still isn’t satisfied and he’s standing there with his bottom lip all pouty so ilya pinches it really hard and goes “i am just calling them assholes. i will call anyone asshole. only you get to be my little crybaby slut.” and shane’s pick me ass is melting into the wall like reallyyyy🥰🥰🥰

yeah the reason ilya’s depression gets worse in ottawa is not because he hates ottawa and hates the centaurs. like don’t get me wrong it doesn’t help that he’s suddenly in a new place and on a shit team. but that’s not the problem. the problem is that he’s spent almost a decade playing the game of ‘well if i had what i wanted then i’d be fixed’ and then he got what he wanted - his dad is gone and he doesn’t have to go back to russia or have contact with his horrible brother and shane loves him and he loves shane and they’re going to be together now - and unfortunately it didn’t fix a damn thing

abandon shame. theres more interesting emotions to be felt

unless its getting you off. in that case keep going