No, but seriously...

I feel like my problems are exacerbated by the lack of dates I have had and it makes me feel insecure. And the longer it continues the more insecure and broken I feel. And it makes me feel desperate for anything because it will just get worse and worse.

And that desperation is palpable to women because I just want the date to go well instead of figuring out if we are a match. And that is just unattractive.

So of course they “don’t feel chemistry” I was too worried about the date and not the person.

Pro: she’s a catch and deserves Someone who wants her

I started talking to from threads because of a picture I posted on a dating thread asking for liberal dudes that legit got like 5000 likes and boosted my ego. She lives in tampa, where I’m visiting now and moving in a month

We’ve had some GREAT conversations. Like what we want, how we want to be as partners, on top of other compatible stuff. She’s a nurse, two kids, been through some SHIT but she’s strong af and I like it.

I’m in tampa now but I had asked if she wanted to go on our date this weekend or when I moved, and she said when I move which I’m good with. She works this weekend anyway, and also didn’t want to wait a month between seeing each other again which I was on the fence about and brought up when I asked.

I’m… over thinking talking to her. I’m not trying to purposefully wait days to talk, but sometimes she doesn’t respond and I don’t want to text too much. Because frankly I HAVE BEEN OVERBEARING in the past and her and I haven’t even met.

And I don’t think she’s ignoring the texts I just don’t think she needed to respond always because … she’s a busy nurse with two careers and two kids and we haven’t even met. Like, what do I expect? There are priorities and “guy from threads” isn’t one yet, it just isn’t.

But the last thing I sent was three days again and was about Nightmare before Christmas because it’s one of her favorites… and it was a movie I hadn’t seen? It just somehow slipped through the cracks?

So I watched it and told her and she never responded and NOW I’m overthinking “oh god she thinks it’s too much to watch her favorite movie when we haven’t even Met, no matter how good the conversations were” and like I should wait for her to text next?

But now it feels like I’m strategizing how get her to like me more or talk when I really just want to keep talking to her which feels like I’m being overbearing and …

I did avoid messaging her when her insta note said she had a cold. I was gonna be like “damn shame. I make great soup” or something dumb and flirty and then was like no that’s too much, she didn’t respond to the Movie thing.

I think too much.

I’m not good at subtle or not rushing in. I like effort and romance and I need to just chill and not over think. Save that shit for after an actual date??

I’ve never been good at pacing this stuff.

I just needed to type this out so I stop bottling it and over thinning it. She’s going to want to go out still when I move down

I just… I don’t get tons of dates and times it haven’t had many second dates lately. And it’s always Chemistry that’s the reason which means either A) it’s chemistry or B) they are being polite. Both are fine. I just feel like I’m doing something wrong and don’t know what.

Practically it works well while I do nursing school till I have clinicals, but it also lets me spend time with dad. I don’t know how long he’s got and he will be best this year and the one after so it gives us some good time

That’s what the second opinion stated and they have a meeting next week. It’s possible it’s not but all others have been ruled out. The average life span is 5-10 years, but It’s diagnosed so late that most people -dad included, are diagnosed theee years in. So it’s actually 2-7 and Oh guess what????

The last half he’s a fucking vegetable.