Beep Boop *screams in too lesbian for this shit*

billions and billions of WASTED taxpayers money

Not to mention all the dead and maimed-for-life service personel.

two prime examples of why people hate americans 👍

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

I had to get my kidneys imaged a few years ago and the urologist somewhat breathlessly told me "you have absolutely beautiful kidneys." and tbh I've never felt hotter.

the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

this was tumblr in 2013

This is tumblr in 2026

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

talking to offline friends about your online drama is good, because they’re like “not only does this not matter, but it’s actively pissing me off that you’re talking about this.” and then talking to hyper online friends is the opposite, because they’ll be like “omggg it was horrible, they dragged your corpse into the public square and everyone was taking turns pissing in your mouth!”

and it's like, okay can you at least describe it in a way that isn't hot?

I can’t believe we actually have to speak this out loud