hurgh

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

do people even call their children squirt anymore

take away the teeth and the eyes children don't have that anymore

i’m on that weird shit. i’m jacking odd. disturbating. creeping my meat

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it

yaouch! that hurts me when you hit me until I'm blood

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

i can tell when the edible starts to work when i start z-targeting shit irl