I GOT A LOUD BARK | DEEP BITE

you might hate men, manhood and masculinity, you might personify the oppressing class of the patriarchy in every expression of these things but ultimately you’re raising a beast that’ll bite you too.

the moment you start feeling dysphoric you’ll see a man in the mirror and you’ll hate him just like you hate all men.

the body hair and facial stubble you’ve decreed to be the mark of the enemy you will find growing on you.

the edges and shapes that you’ve declared embodiment of all you despise you’ll see in every mirror.

Your transandrophobia IS transmisogyny as well.

Feminism cannot grow to healthy things from hatred and aversion.

Feminism is for men and women, it’s for nonbinary people and for agender folks.

Cambridge professor of sociology Jason Arday is accused of plagiarism by another academic

the accuser is a "race realist" who believes that in a true meritocracy all university professors would be white. this is somehow not acknowledged much during the entire ordeal

this leads to several days of media coverage demanding an investigation, or that Arday is expelled from his post immediately

somehow this accusation that has no effect on the lives of 99.99% of the population becomes FRONT PAGE NEWS in all the newspapers for multiple days, above anything else happening in the UK or the world at large

following intense media scrutiny, Arday resigns his post as a Cambridge professor

today, august 14th, days after resigning, Arday is found dead at his home in Battersea

This article by professor Kehinde Andrews clarifies more about the story of racist harassment Arday has been suffering since he fucking got a teaching job at Cambridge in the first place, in 2023, as the FIRST Black professor in that fucking stupid institution, who sure is taking it's sweet time defending their worker, despite already fucking checking his work for plagiarism and saying he didn't do it:

https://www.voice-online.co.uk/opinion/comment/2026/08/07/ardays-resignation/

even within a marginalized group you still aren't an expert on other people's experiences. what happens frequently to a Black disabled person will not be the same as what happens frequently to a white disabled person. what happens frequently to a queer person in the global south will not be the same as what happens frequently to a queer person in Europe. etc. etc. no one lives an identical life to you so what might seem like a "made up guy" or an outlier very well might not be made up or an outlier.

shout out to all the trans men on this site that are normal about trans women

shout out to all the binary (+non GNC) trans folks on this site that are normal about nonbinary/genderfluid/multigender/GNC/etc trans people

shout out to all the perisex trans people on this site that are normal about intersex (and intertrans) people

signs of a healthy friendship w/ an adult:

they don’t do the obvious predatory things; they don’t send you sexual content or ask you sexual questions, they don’t tell you that you don’t “seem” like a minor, they don’t start inappropriate conversations

they don’t do the less obvious predatory things; they don’t ask you to keep secrets or try to isolate you from others or ask inappropriate favors or use you as a key source of emotional support*

you’d be comfortable with your parents seeing your conversations (or, if you can’t trust your parents, you’d be comfortable with a trusted adult seeing your conversations)

they’d be comfortable with your interactions being shown to people; they don’t ask you to ‘hide’ anything

they set clear boundaries; they tell you when they’re not comfortable offering guidance, when they’re uncomfortable with a conversation in general, etc.

they respect YOUR boundaries; they drop or redirect conversations when asked, they don’t ask for invasive details about trauma or your living situation, etc

you aren’t nervous about telling them when you’re uncomfortable - or at least, you aren’t more nervous than you are with anyone else. some ppl have anxiety disorders or struggle to articulate discomfort, i get it

on that note, you shouldn’t feel more anxious or nervous around them than you do around other trusted adults.  

you don’t need to have a Reason for the nervousness - sometimes a person’s intensity or conversational style is just stressful.  the same might happen w/ peers your age.  a beneficial friendship shouldn’t make you feel consistently tense/on edge, even if the other party hasn’t done anything “wrong”

(people don’t need to Commit A Transgression for you to want to stop interacting with them.  if they’re not making your life better, you don’t need to keep them in your life.)

your friendship is based around mutual interests - fandoms you enjoy, creative work you’re doing, hobbies you share, etc.  you both have an equal interest in the things you talk about, & your conversations focus on common ground between you

you’d be comfortable with them interacting with others in your life - peers your age and trusted adults.

they are respectful of you as a person; they act with appropriate awareness of your age, but they don’t condescend to you or tell you they wish you were older or treat you like an infant they’re in charge of babysitting. basically, they aren’t an asshole.

if they are comfortable being asked for emotional support or guidance (not all adults are!), they offer advice and support from the perspective of a mentor, rather than the type of support you’d expect from a peer your age.  they’ll also tell you when they don’t feel like they can give helpful advice (see: boundaries)

there are other healthy signs; these are just some basics

please note that it is possible for friendships to have some of these elements while still being unhealthy.  this is not a checklist for a Guarantee Of Healthy Dynamics And Stability.  it is, however, a good place to start if you’re not sure what an okay friendship with an adult looks like.

*the emotional support thing is complex: there’s nothing wrong with comforting an older friend who’s sad or grieving or having mental health struggles.  but you Shouldn’t be a person they’re Relying Upon for support - they shouldn’t be leaning on you for constant help managing their feelings/struggles.

this is bc adults and adolescents tend to be in very different places where emotional processing is concerned.  an adult will find more helpful emotional support from other adults, similar to how you might find more relatable emotional support from your peers than from adults. it’s bc of where different people are developmentally

(also, like, an 18 year old and a 17 year old are very similar developmentally.  a 30 year old and a 17 year old are not.  how much older they are makes a difference.)

an adult who depends heavily on you for support isn’t Necessarily doing so with predatory intent.  but they Are making the choice to ask an adolescent to be partially responsible for their emotional wellbeing.

you’ll see a lot of people talk abt the trauma of being the emotional support system for their parent(s) growing up (and might have experienced it yourself); similar dynamics are at play here.

“Class based or economic grievances” added as a domestic terror indicator:

The police ruled it a suicide. The family and local community demanded an investigation. The police refused to change their ruling.

Juliana Nzita, A 16 year old Black girl, was just found hanging from a tree on church grounds in Charlotte, NC. Police have ruled it a suicide, despite hanging ourselves from trees being like the one communally agreed way Black folks ain’t killing ourselves.

Every time I go on Twitter or Facebook I learn about another recent lynching or missing Black person going mostly unreported. Half the reason I keep an active account on either of those sites is because they’re the only place I can find out about the violence happening to Black and Trans people reasonably quickly.

To’Nea Nicole Miller, Justice Kai James, and Jerard “Jay” Jackson have all been found hanging from trees this year alone, and have all had their cases ruled a suicide by the police. Just a few days ago another (currently unidentified) Black woman was found hanging from a tree in Jackson Mississippi, although the police havent ruled it a suicide yet.