ChunTyrion

Merry Christmas All 🎄

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

this passed the bechdel test

Tumblr is, Huey. Twitter is, Riley.

#Accurate

TRUE AF

Instagram is grandad. Woke when it’s convenient.

Facebook is Tom

World Star is Thugnificent…

Fox News is Uncle Ruckus

This is my new favorite post cuz it’s so damn true

No lies

Pinterest is Jazmine

^^^ I was thinking that though!!! Lmao

who snapchat?

Ed Wuncler III

Yik Yak is fleece Johnson

Lmaooo I love you guys. You made it so much better.

Who’s MySpace

Stinkmeaner cause he died, and he tried to come back, only to die again.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Also Luna is Tinder and Gangstalicious is Grindr.

Ed Wuncler I is CNN

😂😂😂😂

I am screaming at all the new additions

😂😂😂😂😂 I ain’t never seent this shit! y'all are hilarious

Lmaooooo myspace= stinkmeaner 😂😂 I’m dead

^ fr fr had me crine

Not stinkmeaner though 😭

These comparisons 😭😭😭

Black planet?

My kink: not having to set alarm for the next morning

I was in a bible study we went over this part and I just sat there like “wait what?!?”

Yup! This is so real!

So what you’re saying is the original sin was man not fucking protecting his wife lmao

Adam was a fuck boy?

Omfg! I’ve had this argument so many times!

FUCK

All men Ain’t shit for the bible told me so.

Woooooooowwwwwwwwww stop

Whats happening on Twitter? 😂

His smile 😩

If your straight guy friend says that he supports gays, tell him that you thought he was gay when you first met him. See how fast he gets upset and insecure & starts asking you why you thought that.

My gay guy friend tried this to our straight friend and the response he got was “thought? More like hoped” and then he winked. That’s a real ally right there. 

He really just scalped your poor gay friend on the spot didn’t he lmfao

THIS THIS THIS

No, but literally, same.

god i feel this in my bones

I love how this post implies that the pharmacist is just used to you by now