Cup of Tae

Initially, you were relieved that you were not holding what you previously thought might be court papers detailing the lawsuit Big Hit was filing against you. However, a heavy blanket of unease settled over you as you considered the possibility that Bang PD intended to go through your numerous contract violations before officially serving you. As you sat there, wincing as you tallied them all up in your head, your heart began hammering in your chest uncontrollably.

“Could you please turn to Section IX on page 15,” Bang PD asked in a calm voice which did absolutely nothing to settle your nerves.

Knowing exactly what was outlined in that section, your heart sank as you realized your suspicions were likely correct. You nodded your head in reply, not trusting your voice, and then silently flipped through the pages until you came to the one in question.

On the original paper version of your contract, which was at home tucked away in a drawer somewhere, this page was dotted with blotches of smeared ink. It was almost illegible in some places, the letters from one line bleeding down into the next, but that mattered not. By the time the words were sharp enough to draw tears, they had already etched themselves onto your heart. Even now, after months spent trying to ignore their existence, you could recite them from memory in excruciating detail.

Section IX: Idol / Trainee Fraternization Policy

In order to protect the well-being of all employees and retain the professional working environment at all times, Big Hit Entertainment Co. Ltd. upholds a strict fraternization policy regarding the formation of relationships between staff members and idols / trainees.

Staff members are encouraged to develop and maintain professional relationships with idols / trainees, and may even develop personal friendships, so long as these relationships do not interfere with the work performance of either individual or with the effective functioning of the workplace.

However, romantic relationships and/or sexual interactions of any kind are expressly prohibited between staff members and idols / trainees. Such relationships put at risk the fundamental interest of every employee to work in an environment free from conflicts of interests, favoritism, and/or exploitation.

Failure to comply with this policy will result in immediate termination of employment. Employees may report suspected policy violations anonymously through the online portal.

Those were the words that had haunted you for years, the ones that echoed in your mind and stifled the growth of that tiny flicker of hope every time Tae said or did something sweet. They were the words that reminded you again and again of just how much you had to lose, the ones that bound your heart in fear and doubt and hesitation. They were the words that almost kept you from the love of your life, the ones that still sought to tear you apart.

However, they were not the words written on the page before you.

You stilled, your breath catching and the erratic beating of your heart coming to a sudden and jarring halt, as the realization hit you like a freight train.

This was not the contract you signed three years ago.

This was a new contract.

A new contract with new rules.

The first time you read through the words on the page in front of you, you refused to accept they were real, convinced that your mind was playing the cruelest of tricks on you.

The second time you read them, you did so slowly and skeptically, terrified that at any moment they would vanish like disappearing ink, taking with them the very last shred of your sanity.

The third time you read them, though, tears welled up in your eyes as you finally allowed yourself to acknowledge their meaning.

Section IX: Acknowledgement of Pre-existing Relationship with Idol Kim Taehyung

Big Hit Entertainment Co. Ltd. acknowledges the pre-existing romantic relationship between the contractee and idol Kim Taehyung and hereby exempts it from the idol / trainee fraternization policy which prohibits romantic relationships between staff members and idols / trainees.

The aforementioned relationship will instead be subjected to the general workplace fraternization policy outlining the appropriate conduct for coworkers engaging in consensual romantic relationships as detailed in Section XI.

All relationships between the contractee and other idols / trainees will be subjected to the idol / trainee fraternization policy as otherwise upheld.

“Jagi?” Tae softly called from beside you, his voice laden with concern.

“Sweetheart, what does it say?” he asked a moment later as he reached over and took your hand again, carefully lacing his fingers with yours.

“It…it says...,” you began before a lump formed in your throat and words failed you entirely.

“It says she can stay,” Bang PD finally answered for you, his voice warm and gentle.

“What? ” Tae breathed out, sounding completely awestruck.

“Y/N can remain here at Big Hit as your stylist and continue being in a relationship with you,” the older man explained as a small smile crept onto his face.

“A relationship that doesn’t have to be a secret,” he then added.

“Y-You really mean it?” Tae asked in disbelief, his eyes wide and pleading. “We…we can be together?”

“You can,” Bang PD assured him.

Reading the words on the page had been one thing, but hearing them spoken from Bang PD himself was something else entirely. The moment they left his lips, tears started pouring out of you. It all just felt so surreal, the idea that you were going to be allowed to be with Tae and also be with him. It was something you had only ever imagined in your wildest dreams.

After scooting his chair closer to yours, Tae reached over and wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. As you buried your face in his shoulder and continued to softly cry, he placed loving kisses on the top of your head. You remained there like that for almost a minute before you regained your composure. Lifting your head up off of Tae’s shoulder, you wiped away your tears, took a deep breath, and looked over at Bang PD who had been patiently waiting this whole time.

“T-Thank you,” you said, your voice hoarse and shaky. “This is such an incredible and generous offer. It’s truly beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.”

“But, are you...are you sure?” you then asked quietly. “You said you were worried about the optics and the potential backlash and I...I am too. I love my job and I love Tae and I want nothing more than to stay here with him, but I don’t want to cause trouble for you or for him or for anyone else.”

“Y/N, I do appreciate your concern, but please believe me when I say that I am very sure of this decision,” Bang PD said, giving you a reassuring smile. “The person I met with this morning convinced me that having you here with Taehyung will be best for the two of you both personally and professionally and is also confident that news of your relationship will be generally well-received.”

“They think you complement each other very well and make a great team,” he began explaining. “They feel you’ve played an integral role in his ability to withstand the stress and pressure that comes with being an idol and that you’ve helped him stay grounded and motivated over the years. They also think he has helped with your development as a stylist and that your creativity and confidence has blossomed in part because of his influence and support.”

“If the purpose of the rule barring involvement between staff and idols is to maintain a safe work environment and ensure that everyone can stay focused and perform to the best of their abilities, then it really doesn’t make sense to apply it in this situation given that you’re clearly in a loving, consensual relationship which brings out the best in both of you and helps you do your jobs exceedingly well,” he then stated rather bluntly.

“As for how others will respond, my informer actually doesn’t think people on the BTS team will be all that surprised to learn you’re together,” he went on to reveal with a little chuckle. “It might not have been obvious to anyone that you began legitimately dating, but it has apparently always been obvious that you’re extremely close and rather affectionate towards one another, you in particular, Taehyung.”

“Honestly, they think people have suspected for some time you were at least harboring crushes on one another, if not deeper feelings, which partially explains why everyone was so shocked when Tae and Jisoo began ‘dating’,” he continued thoughtfully. “They said that people long ago accepted your relationship, however informal it might have been and despite the fact that it was technically not allowed, and that they believe people will be equally accepting of it once it’s official and contractually legal.”

Initially, his words caught you off guard, but as they sank in you realized that this assertion really wasn’t all that far-fetched. None of the other guys had been surprised when you told them you were dating. The only thing they were surprised about was that it took so long for it to happen. Jimin was the only one to whom Tae actually expressed his feelings about you, but the others managed to pick up on everything all on their own.

Thinking through things, you decided that Eunji and Donghae were another two people that likely would not be all that surprised to discover you and Tae were together. Strangely enough, they had been incredibly sympathetic and even somewhat angry when Tae and Jisoo revealed their ‘relationship’. At the time, you just thought they felt bad that you were being forced to spend time with someone so unpleasant, but looking back now, you realized there was clearly more to it.

During that long and terrible month the two of them frequently inquired about your love life and also encouraged you to set up more Tinder dates and get drinks with them after work so you could meet someone. They often did that right in front of Tae in what was now a painfully obvious attempt at making him jealous. Their scheming was, of course, quite unnecessary given that you two were actually already dating, though, it definitely still had an effect on him, evoking a possessiveness which manifested in the most pleasurable of ways when you got home.

For years they had playfully teased you about your relationship with Tae, noting how often he flirted with you and also calling you out for flirting right back. You always brushed them off, and assumed they regarded your flirtation as totally harmless, but perhaps they had suspected more than they were letting on. They were, after all, your best friends here at Big Hit. If anyone was paying close enough attention to see the truth, surely it would have been them.

However, even people outside of yours and Tae’s close friends seemed to have caught on over the years, the most notable being none other than Hyun. A few weeks after the incident on the roof, he had contacted you and asked if you would be up for grabbing coffee sometime, not as a date, but just to talk. You agreed and met up with him a few days later down in the café at Big Hit.

The first thing he did was apologize again for his behavior, but he also then said that, while he still deeply regretted his actions, he was grateful that he now had the opportunity to learn from his mistakes and do better. He asked if you would be willing to answer some questions about how you felt when he said or did certain things over the years and you said yes. The two of you then spent an hour talking about a host of topics related to dating like the different ways people express interest, the assumptions often made on both sides, and the pitfalls for miscommunication. It ended up being a really great conversation, one that you felt was truly productive for both of you.

Towards the end, Hyun mentioned that Tae had come to see him in the editing room the Monday after everything happened. While he didn’t specifically use the word ‘threaten’, he did say that Tae made it crystal clear that he would no longer have a job at Big Hit, or anywhere else in the entertainment industry, if he ever touched you again or made you uncomfortable in any way. You were honestly shocked to learn that Tae had done that, not to mention incredibly flustered, but Hyun, however, did not seem the least bit surprised.

“He’s always been very protective of you,” he said matter-of-factly, giving you a knowing smile.

“It’s obvious he cares a lot about you,” he then added thoughtfully, his expression growing slightly wistful before he continued. “And, that you care a lot about him.”

At the time, you convinced yourself that the affection Hyun thought you and Tae felt towards one another was strictly platonic. The alternative was just too painful to even contemplate given that Tae was busy recording the song with Jisoo and your love had never felt more unrequited. Worse than that, though, the alternative was dangerous. If Hyun realized your relationship contained romantic feelings, even if they sadly were only one-sided, he could end your career in a heartbeat.

In hindsight, it was overwhelmingly obvious that Hyun knew the true nature of your relationship, even if it remained unbeknownst to the two of you for another few months. He had seen how jealous and protective Tae grew whenever he asked you out. He had realized that every time you turned him down because of your ‘busy schedule’, you were really choosing Tae over him. He had witnessed you two together, off in your own little world, talking and laughing and flirting as if no one else existed, least of all him. He had known.

And yet, he had said nothing. He had not reported you. He had not attempted to blackmail you. He had not caused trouble in any way, shape, or form. He had just accepted it and moved on. Realizing this monumental fact, you allowed yourself to hope that, in time, others would do the same.

“The fact that it’s you, Taehyung, and not anyone else, also makes all the difference in this situation,” Bang PD went on, pulling you back to the present moment. “You are one of the most adored and respected idols here at Big Hit and are also already known to be family-oriented and, self admittedly, a hopeless romantic. You falling in love with Y/N, but waiting three years to tell her and then hiding your eventual relationship because you were afraid of losing her honestly just makes you all the more endearing.”

“If we tell people the truth, that you couldn’t bear to be separated from your pregnant wife who you deeply love and want to take care of, what is anyone really going to say?” he then questioned.

Upon hearing those words, you and Tae immediately turned to look at each other, your eyes wide in shock. You had not mentioned your news to anyone other than Jisoo, and thought you had been discreet at the hospital last night, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Turning back to face Bang PD, you saw a guilty expression clearly written on his face.

“Sejin accidentally saw the pregnancy test on the bedside table just before you left the hospital,” he revealed, sounding deeply apologetic.

“He did not tell me this when I spoke to him last night,” he went on slowly, choosing his words carefully. “He only shared the news this morning when I called him to discuss your future here at Big Hit. I asked him point blank how soon he thought you might be looking to start a family since Taehyung mentioned last night that you were already discussing children. He was caught off guard and didn’t know how else to respond other than to tell the truth.”

“He feels extremely guilty to have discovered and shared this highly personal information without your permission and I too feel guilty that I have discussed it and now taken away the opportunity for you to tell me yourselves,” he admitted as he bowed his head in remorse.

“However, I do feel it’s important that you know the decision to allow you to stay was made with this precious knowledge in mind,” he then said sincerely. “I want you to know that I am fully supportive of both your relationship and of your soon-to-be family.”

In the last few minutes you had already felt a flicker of anxiety about how and when you would tell him the news and if it would make him regret his decision to allow you to stay. The fact that he already knew and was genuinely supportive was a massive relief. You were about to thank him for providing you with this much needed peace of mind when he suddenly pulled something else out of his desk drawer.

“I also want you to know that Big Hit is going to be fully supportive as well,” he then said as he spread the papers in his hands out across his desk.

“These are the floor plans for the new building we will be moving into next spring,” he went on, a hint of excitement in his voice. “I think you might be interested in what will be located on the North end of the third floor.”

Confused and curious, you peered over at the paper in question. It took a few moments to orient yourself and figure out where to look, but when you did, you immediately knew what Bang PD wanted you to see.

“A childcare center,” you whispered as fresh tears welled up in your eyes.

“Yes. Starting next spring, Big Hit will offer onsite childcare services to all of its employees,” he explained. “With several of our idols now married or soon-to-be married and thinking of starting families, and many staff members having children already, it was an easy decision to make. Anyone who chooses to have their children cared for at the center will be guaranteed time throughout the day to visit with them. When the time comes, the two of you can take that time together or separately, whichever you prefer.”

Discovering you were allowed to stay had been overwhelming enough as it was, but this revelation was almost too much to handle. You were barely holding it together, filled with so much joy and gratitude that you thought you might burst, and you knew Tae was fairing no better. After taking one look at the floor plan, he dropped his head into his hand and began to softly cry.

Having this kind of support from Big Hit would be monumental for you both as new parents. It would make your transition back to work so much smoother and help you find that elusive balance between career and motherhood. It would also enable Tae to be that much more present in your children’s lives, allowing him to easily and safely spend time with them even when the schedule was busy. This development alone had already seemed life-changing, but what Bang PD said next made you realize it had only scratched the surface.

“Taehyung, for you and the rest of the members of BTS, family support will also extend beyond this building,” he began tentatively.

At the sound of those words, Tae looked up at you, his eyes wide in wonder and anticipation, before turning to Bang PD.

“From now on, you will be allowed to bring your families with you whenever BTS travels for extended periods of time,” he revealed, pausing for a moment to let the immense weight of that statement sink in. “The finer details of everything are yet to be worked out, but they will likely travel with you on your chartered flights and will stay with you as well. Big Hit will provide childcare whenever necessary and tutoring too when the time comes.”

“We will, of course, have to be extremely careful so as not to allow any information about your partners or children to get out, but I am confident we can handle it with proper planning and increased security,” he continued thoughtfully.

“Obviously, we will need to make some special arrangements for the upcoming tour, though,” he then quickly added.

“Y/N, may I ask when you are due?” he questioned gently.

For a second, you forgot how to speak. Your brain was still going a mile a minute as you struggled to comprehend everything he had just said. The idea of your children being allowed to travel with you and Tae, of you all being together as a family, was truly mind-blowing. It was honestly never something you considered to be even a remote possibility, even in your wildest dreams. It simply was not something that happened in the K-pop industry. Idols were expected to either put off having a family until they retired or have one that they rarely saw. There was no in between. No compromise.

That is, until now.

“July 15th is my expected due date,” you told him bewilderedly.

He nodded his head and was quiet for a few moments, no doubt running through the tour schedule in his head to see where exactly your due date fell. The tiniest amount of worry crept into your mind as you wondered if he was going to be upset with how unfortunately timed your pregnancy was, but once again he surprised you with his compassion and composure.

“It will be entirely up to you and Taehyung to decide how much of the tour you participate in, if any,” he finally said. “If your doctor clears you for travel and you are feeling up to it, you could come for the North American leg of the tour and maybe even part of the European leg. Obviously, you would need to be home by mid-spring and would then remain there once your child was born.”

“We would, of course, have someone on the medical staff oversee your prenatal care while you were traveling, but if you would be more comfortable staying home throughout your pregnancy that is perfectly fine,” he then assured you. “We could have you temporarily transferred over to another group that isn’t on tour until you take your maternity leave this summer.”

“Taehyung, you will also need to decide how much of the tour you’ll participate in,” he added, turning his attention back to Tae. “If you could make it through Festa and Muster in June and then possibly attend a few shows in September that would be great, but if you need more time off before or after the baby is born I understand completely.”

Of all the incredible revelations this meeting had brought, this one was perhaps the most earth-shattering. It was one thing for accommodations to be made for when Tae was busy with BTS commitments, but it was something else entirely for him to be released from those commitments altogether. It was a huge deal for a member to miss any event, let alone a concert, and was something that only happened in dire circumstances. And yet, here was Bang PD, saying Tae could miss a month or two of their world tour without consequence.

Unsure how to even begin to express the tangle of thoughts and emotions inside you, you glanced over at Tae, hoping he might have found the words to say, only to discover he was infinitely more overwhelmed than you were. He was staring at Bang PD with an absolutely astonished expression on his face, his eyes wide, mouth agape. For a whole minute he said nothing, just stood there in utter disbelief, barely even seeming to breathe, until he finally broke the silence.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice little more than a whisper.

“I-I’m so grateful for it all, truly, but I just…I just don’t understand,” he stammered as his voice began to waver and his eyes filled with tears once more. “When we signed you said the rules would never change.”

Bang PD drew in a long, deep breath before letting it out very slowly. As he did, his gaze traveled all over the room, taking in the sight of the numerous photographs and awards and mementos that lined the walls, most of which commemorated some notable milestone or accomplishment BTS had achieved. Looking back at Tae, a somber expression on his face, he cleared his throat and began to speak.

“I have been reconsidering a number of Big Hit’s policies for some time now,” he admitted as he leaned his elbows on the desk and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I know other members have also experienced hardship in their relationships, but what you’ve gone through with Y/N has been particularly eye-opening. It’s painfully clear to me now how near-impossible you felt it would be to have and maintain a healthy relationship with her if she wasn’t with you because of her job at Big Hit.”

“Obviously, I’ve always known that BTS’s schedule is very demanding and that it interferes with everyone’s personal lives, but I didn’t realize it was to such a large and heartbreaking extent,” he went on, letting out a deep sigh before he continued. “I want you all to be committed to the group’s shared vision and success, but not at the cost of your current and future happiness.”

“The rules were established before you debuted, back when you were all so young and inexperienced, but so much has changed since then,” he acknowledged. “You’ve grown, and will only continue to grow, not just as artists, but as individuals and as men, as husbands and fathers someday too.”

“Bit Hit needs to grow with you,” he then said with a note of finality.

“Thank you,” Tae said after a few moments of silence, his voice soft and sincere, as he bowed his head respectfully. “Your kindness and support means more to me than I can put into words. I deeply appreciate all that you have done for me over the years and all that you continue to do for Y/N, myself, and our unborn child. I promise to never take the incredible opportunity you’ve given us for granted and to continue performing to the absolute best of my ability as a member of BTS.”

“You are most welcome, Taehyung,” Bang PD said back with a smile. “You have dedicated over a third of your life to BTS and given myself and Big Hit so much. It is my pleasure to offer this to you in return.”

You were about to say something as well when Bang PD’s phone suddenly started to ring. After glancing down to see who it was, he said he unfortunately needed to take it. The call was brief, he gave little more than a few ‘Hmms’ and ‘OKs’, and before you knew it he was hanging up.

“I do apologize, but I am urgently needed at the police station with Jisoo and our lawyer,” he said regretfully, standing up from his desk.

“Why don’t we plan to meet again in a couple days,” he then suggested as he put on his coat. “That way you can take some time to absorb all of this and talk through everything together. Y/N, assuming you decide to stay, we’ll need to discuss when and how to reveal your relationship with Taehyung to the rest of Big Hit. There are also a couple of other things we’ll need to go over like security and NDAs and the like.”

“Please stay here as long as you’d like to collect yourselves before leaving,” he added gently. “I know it’s been an overwhelming and emotional afternoon.”

You and Tae both stood up and bid him farewell, shaking his hand and thanking him again for everything. He had opened the door, and was just about to step through and leave, when Tae suddenly called out to him.

“Sir, was it Namjoon-hyung?” he asked hesitantly.

This question had been on the tip of your tongue since the moment Bang PD said someone came to visit him this morning. Like Tae, you had assumed it was Namjoon, your guardian angel. He was the obvious choice, having been in your corner right from the very beginning, which is why Bang PD’s response came as such a surprise.

“No,” the older man said after a moment, a small smile playing on his lips. “The person I met with this morning, the one who convinced me you two should remain together here at Big Hit, was Mrs. Choi.”

With that, he took his leave, giving a final wave before stepping out into the hallway. The second the door closed and you and Tae were alone, the reality of everything that had transpired in the last hour finally hit you.

You weren’t being fired. You weren’t getting sued. You weren’t even being punished at all. Instead, you were being given the most precious gift anyone can ever ask for.

Time.

Time with Tae, the love of your life and your best friend, the father of your unborn child and your soon-to-be husband. Time spent talking and laughing and being with him. Time spent growing with him and learning from him and discovering a million more reasons to love him. Time spent watching him and his brothers follow their passion and change the world.

Time spent with him and your children. Time spent playing with them and teaching them things and showering them with love and affection. Time spent watching them discover they had the most wonderful, caring, and incredible father in the entire world. Time spent together as a family, one that was happy and whole and not separated by time zones and thousands upon thousands of miles.

Looking over at Tae, and seeing his own eyes already filled with tears, you lost it. In an instant, he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you as close as possible, enveloping you in his warmth and comfort and love. As you sobbed into his chest, absolutely overcome with emotion, he pressed endless kisses to your temple and rubbed your back in the most soothing, loving way.

“You can stay, Jagi,” he whispered as his own tears freely fell. “You can stay.”

“You can stay and we can be together,” he went on, gently rocking you in his arms. “Our family can be together.”

“I’ll take care of you and our baby, sweetheart,” he then vowed, his voice soft but resolute. “No matter where we go, no matter how crazy things get, I’ll take care of you both. I’ll keep you safe and make sure you’re healthy and happy and so, so loved. I’ll be the best husband and father I can be, I promise.”

Moved by his words, it took you a few moments to gather yourself to the point that you could speak and even then your voice was breaking over every other word.

“I’ll take care of you too, Tae,” you promised, pulling back to look at him. “I’ll take care of you and support you and love you always. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I love you so much,” you then told him as the joyful tears continued to pour out.

Though his eyes were still glistening with his own tears, he looked almost as happy as he did last night when you first told him you were pregnant. After gazing at you for a few moments, he reached up to cup your cheeks and rub away your tears with his thumbs before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and sweet and truly magical and, when he pulled away and looked at you so adoringly, still holding you so tenderly, you knew without question that this was the happiest moment of your entire life.

“I love you too, Jagi,” he confessed, giving you a shy, boxy smile. “I always have and I always will.”

~~~

Author’s Note:

Thank you all for following along with me on this incredible journey. When I started writing this story in my head while out on a long run back in January, I never dreamed it would have evolved into what it has now become. It has truly been a labor of love writing this and I thank each and every one of you who took the time to leave comments and send me messages. Your feedback and support meant more to me than I can put into words.

There were will an epilogue to this story that I hope to publish sometime in the next month. I am also planning on releasing drabbles every now and then. They will be of both past and future events and will also be from Tae's POV on occasion.

Part of the reason why it took so long for this last chapter to be released is that I've already started writing another story. I tried to hold off on beginning it until this one was done, but I got too excited lol It will be another Tae Idol!AU, however, that is where the similarities with TGTBT end. The title is 'Shattered Glass' and, like TGTBT was loosely centered on Tae's song 'Sweet Night', the new story will revolved around 'Stigma'. It will be angsty and smutty and honestly quite dark. It will be a roller coast for sure - friends to enemies to friends to lovers! I'm having a blast writing it so far and hope to have the first chapter published in the next month or so.

Thank you again for your love and support! 

Borahae 💜

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At that, your smile widened. This silly, sweet side of Tae was just so endearing. You’d been awake for less than a minute and already he had you swooning, your heart threatening to burst due to cuteness overload.

“Are you my Prince Charming?” you asked shyly, your eyes still closed as you snuggled against his bare chest.

“Yes,” he replied happily, smiling into the kiss he then pressed to your forehead. “And, you are my beautiful princess.”

You were smiling from ear to ear now, completely smitten with the man in whose arms you laid. Tae had this incredible ability to take any moment, however brief or ordinary, and make it feel special and memorable, truly magical. Being with him was honestly like living in a fairy tale, one that you had feared for so long was too good to be true, but now trusted and believed with all your heart was real.

After laying there for a few more minutes, basking in the warmth of both his love and his embrace, you finally opened your eyes and pulled back to find him gazing at you with a soft, intent expression. As he brushed away a wisp of your hair and then cradled your face in his hand, you felt that familiar fluttering in your chest. Yesterday he had said you were the most precious thing in the world to him and right now, with how lovingly he was looking at you and how tenderly he was holding you, you truly felt like you were.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked a moment later, having grown a bit shy under his gaze.

He didn’t respond right away and instead took his thumb and lightly ran it along your lower lip. As he did, a tiny shiver went up your spine as the atmosphere in the room shifted ever so slightly. The love was still clearly there in his eyes, but it was now accompanied by an unmistakable glint of lust.

“Last night,” he finally confessed, his sultry voice shooting right through you. “And how much I loved being with you like that.”

“Being so close to you,” he went on, your breath hitching as he leaned in and tilted your chin up with his finger. “Feeling all of you.”

“It was incredible,” he then murmured, his lips just a breath away from yours.

“It was,” you agreed quietly, feeling dizzy and lightheaded, utterly intoxicated by him.

The next thing you knew, he had closed the distance between you and captured your lips in a deep, sensual kiss that had memories from last night instantly flooding back to you.  

How it began with an innocent goodnight kiss that lingered on and on before eventually turning messy and desperate. The way his lips caressed the sensitive skin of your neck while he teased his fingers along the waistband of your shorts. The rush you felt when he whispered in your ear that he missed being inside you and hearing your pretty sounds and feeling you come around him. How he slowly removed your clothes and then licked and bit his lips as his gaze shamelessly roamed over you. The searing hot kisses he trailed all the way down your body, how he softly sucked and nipped as he went, and all the sinfully sweet words he murmured against your skin.

Want to take care of you

Make my sweetheart feel so good

Worship your beautiful body that’s carrying our baby

Show you just how much I love you, Jagi

How he then used his mouth to express that love, but didn’t use words. His insatiable hunger as he pleasured you until your body was trembling and your mind was devoid of all thoughts except him. Breathlessly telling him that you wanted and needed him. Him reaching over to the nightstand out of habit. You reminding him that you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant when you were already pregnant. The adorably sheepish grin he then gave you. The passionate kiss you shared as he laid his body down on yours.

Making love without anything between you for the first time. How it felt so much more intimate and meaningful, every sensation heightened and the pleasure beyond anything you’d ever experienced before. The way he held you so close and gazed into your eyes as he slowly and deeply thrust into you. The physical and emotional bliss of coming together. How truly whole you felt afterwards, sharing languid kisses and confessing your love over and over again while your bodies remained intimately intertwined.

~~~

An hour later you were in the kitchen savoring the one cup of coffee you were now allowed to have every day and waiting for Tae to finish showering so you could hop in. He had pleaded for you to join him, promising with puppy dog eyes that he would be on his best behavior and that you two would only clean each other, but you knew better than to believe that. Even after last night’s three rounds and this morning’s two, it was clear that neither of you were satiated. His appetite was particularly ravenous, having admitted last night that you being pregnant with his child was something he found extremely sexy. If you had gotten in the shower with him just now he surely would have misbehaved, you obviously would have had to punish him, and you two definitely would have then missed the meeting with Bang PD and the lawyer that you needed to be at in forty-five minutes.

As you stood there leaning against the kitchen counter, mug in hand, your mind began wandering to all the questions that needed to be answered and decisions that needed to be made. If Jisoo would actually try to blackmail Tae and what would happen if she did. How to tell your families and close friends about the pregnancy. If they would be as supportive as you hoped. When to get legally married and when to have the wedding reception. How to begin telling other people about your relationship with Tae. If they would believe that your marriage was genuine and that your baby was truly wanted. What jobs you would apply for once you left Big Hit. When and if you would go back to work after you gave birth. If you would be a good mother.

However, there was one thought that weighed more heavily on your mind than all the rest combined: whether or not Tae would actually remain in BTS. Last night after your ultrasound, while you were laying with him and waiting to be released, you fell asleep for a little bit. When you woke up you found him on his phone scrolling through his contract. He said he was just glancing at it, but you knew there was more to it than that.

He had reluctantly agreed when you told him that you still wanted to wait before you made any decisions, but in the hours since then your own feelings had become muddled. As adamant as you had been back at the hospital that you two could make it work once you left Big Hit, you couldn’t deny the anxiety you now felt when you imagined what life was going to be like moving forward. You thought you were going to have time to adjust and gradually settle into your new routine, but that notion had gone out the window the moment you saw those two pink lines.

The truth was, you being pregnant changed everything. So many new and exciting, but also stressful things were about to happen and you honestly didn’t know if you could handle them all without Tae by your side. Given how inseparable you’d been for the last three years, the idea of being apart for even a little while made your heart legitimately ache. The hectic and unpredictable nature of his regular schedule would be hard enough to deal with, but sadly there would be a far greater challenge awaiting you both if he chose not to give up his idol life.

After not touring at all this year, BTS was set to embark on a massive world tour next year. Once they kicked things off in February with several shows in South Korea, they would spend almost two months in North America and then a month in Europe. At the end of May they would come home for Festa and Muster which would last most of June. They would then spend the rest of the summer touring Japan and Southeast Asia before the tour concluded with a big three-day finale back in Seoul at the end of September. Other than a couple weekends off here and there, and a two week break in mid-summer, they would be going nonstop for almost eight months.

And, you would be giving birth right in the middle of it all.

Putting down your suddenly tasteless coffee, you dropped your head into your hands and let out a long, frustrated sigh. The truth was undeniable: if Tae was considering leaving BTS before, he was surely now convinced that it was what he needed to do. There was just no way he was going to want to be away from you while you were pregnant, let alone once the baby was born.

This realization caused a flurry of conflicting emotions to well up inside you. You wanted more than anything to have him with you, to share all of the experiences of pregnancy and new parenthood together, but wanting that made you feel so guilty. To be with you he would need to make an enormous sacrifice, one that would undoubtedly cause confusion and hardship and heartbreak for so many people. Even if he said it's what he wanted, even if it was what was best for your family and relationship in the long run, allowing him to do it still just felt so selfish. Tae offered so much to the world as a member of BTS, so much love and joy and positivity, and also received so much in return.

Could you really allow him to give all that up?

The answer to that question was elusive, but just as you began to chase it around your mind, you heard a knock on the apartment door. It was soft, so soft that you thought for a moment that you had imagined the sound, but when you heard it again a few moments later, you realized that it was most definitely real.

As you walked down the hallway towards the foyer, you decided your visitor must be one of the guys. Tae had texted their group chat late last night and told them that you fainted while at Big Hit and were taken to the hospital, but that you were discharged and were doing alright. He mentioned that the situation involved Jisoo, and also let them know that Bang PD and several others now knew about your relationship, but didn’t go into much more detail since he wanted to talk to them about everything in person. He said nothing about the pregnancy, though, partly because it wasn’t something to be shared over text, but also because it was still a little early to tell people.

All of the guys had responded with concern and well-wishes and both Jimin and Namjoon had texted back separately asking if there was anything that the two of you needed. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised you at all if one of them decided to pop over just in case to make sure that everything truly was alright. However, after undoing the deadbolt and lock, you opened the door and were brought face to face with the absolute last person you were expecting.

Jisoo

The fact that she was standing in front of you was surprising enough, but it was the state of her appearance that was most shocking. In the year and a half that you had known her, you had never seen her look so unkempt. She was completely bare faced, having not even bothered to hide the dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was undone, piled in a messy heap atop her head. Her clothes were plain, a bit grungy, even: black leggings with scuffed white sneakers and a blue crew neck sweatshirt that was clearly distressed not by design, but by years of wear and tear. The color was faded and bleached in some spots, the ends of the sleeves frayed and covered with black smudges you had a sneaking suspicion were mascara. Her eyes were red and puffy, the unmistakable aftermath of fallen tears, and wide with fear and anticipation.

The sight before you was disarming, automatically eliciting emotions you never thought you could feel for the woman who stood before you. She looked broken, a mere shell of a human, and no matter how hard you tried to fight them, genuine feelings of concern and sympathy flickered inside you. Despite everything she had said and done to you and Tae, despite how much she had hurt you both, you simply could not find it within yourself to take pleasure in her own obvious pain.

The two of you spent what felt like hours staring at each other in complete silence. As you watched her gaze briefly travel over you, and saw it linger on all the skin exposed by Tae’s loose-fitting V-neck tee shirt, the irony of the situation sank in. You were the one now covered in marks, ones that had obviously been given to you by the man whose clothes you were wearing, the man that you still shared a home with and were clearly still dating. The dramatic reversal of your roles should have given you at least a small amount of satisfaction, but it didn’t. Instead, it caused a pit to form in the bottom of your stomach.

“I-I’m glad you’re still here,” she finally said, sounding slightly relieved, somewhat surprised, but mostly nervous.

“I was hoping to speak with you and Tae,” she went on, barely able to meet your eye.

Struggling to comprehend not only the words she was saying, but the entire situation, you continued gaping at her in disbelief. She wasn’t supposed to be here right now. She wasn’t supposed to have been the one to reach out. You and Tae hadn’t met with Bang PD and the lawyer yet. You hadn’t made a plan for how to handle everything. Namjoon wasn’t here and the conversation wasn’t being recorded. It was all wrong. The whole situation was all wrong.

And yet, something inside you was telling you that you should hear what she had to say.

Wordlessly, you stepped aside and ushered her through the door. After closing it, you turned and walked with her down the hallway towards the kitchen. When you got there, you gestured for her to take a seat at the island counter.

“I’m going to go get Tae,” you said after a moment of debating whether or not it was OK to leave her alone in the apartment. “Just...wait here.”

She nodded in reply and you turned to leave the room, but before you could even take a step, Tae’s voice rang out from within the apartment.

“Jagi, I had a thought in the shower,” he called from down the hall. “If we turn the office into the baby’s room, should we move our bedroom into the room next to it? I’m worried about it taking too long to get all the way across the apartment if the baby needs us in the middle of the night.”

You froze, your heart absolutely plummeting in your chest, as you realized what Tae had just inadvertently revealed to Jisoo. He had only been in the shower for a few minutes when she knocked and you thought for sure he would still be in there now. Obviously, though, you were wrong and now your precious secret was out.

“I'm also worried about not being able to hear when something is wrong,” he added, now sounding like he was getting closer. “I know we’ll have a baby monitor, but what if it doesn’t work for some reason? What if our baby spends the whole night crying all alone while we’re asleep? Just thinking about that makes me want to cry.”

“We definitely need to-,” he then began before abruptly stopping when he turned the corner and saw Jisoo.

For a few seconds he just stood there in stunned silence, staring at her with wide eyes, but as soon as he snapped out of it he was at your side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest in a protective embrace. You couldn’t see his face, but from the terrified look on Jisoo’s you knew he was giving her his most intimidating death glare.

“What are you doing here?” he spat, his voice cold and sharp as ice.

She flinched, physically recoiling from his verbal assault, but her gaze remained fixed on you.

“You’re pregnant?” she whispered.

Your first instinct was to deny it, but you realized a second later that it was pointless. There was honestly no other explanation for what she had just heard Tae say.

“I am,” you admitted sheepishly. “We found out last night after I went to the hospital.”

“You went to the hospital?” she breathed out, her eyes wide in shock.

“I fainted after Tae told me the truth about his grandmother’s ring,” you said hesitantly, Tae hugging you tighter as you spoke. “I hadn’t eaten in a while and my blood pressure was already low because I’m pregnant. When I got really overwhelmed my body just shut down.”

You truly hadn’t said that to guilt her, you’d just wanted to explain the situation, but the way her face somehow fell ever further upon hearing them made it crystal clear that the weight of your words was absolutely crushing. Against all reason, you felt your heart clench at the sight.

“Jisoo, why are you here?” Tae asked again, his tone now even more threatening.

She took a few moments before answering, looking down at the floor and taking a deep breath as she clearly tried to compose herself.

“I came to apologize,” she finally said, looking up at the two of you. “And to explain.”

Tae said nothing in reply, just stared back at her, his gaze piercing and his jaw tightly set. He was clearly skeptical of her intentions which was absolutely warranted given everything she had done. Your own reservations were swirling around inside you, but there too was that same voice from before, urging you to listen.

“I think you know already that what I said last night wasn’t the truth,” she began quietly, guilt written all over her face. “But, I just want to make it absolutely clear that nothing inappropriate ever happened between Tae and I.”

“It was so wrong of me to make it seem like something had,” she continued as her voice started to tremble. “I-I’m truly ashamed that I did that.”

“I’m so sorry,” she then confessed as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry for all of the terrible things I did and said. I’m sorry for lying and manipulating you and trying to come between you. I’m sorry for everything. If I could go back and undo it all, I would. I’m not asking for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it, but I just…I just need you to know that I’m so sorry.”

For the longest time, the room was dead silent save for the faint ticking from the clock on the nearby wall. Your head was swimming with an infinite number of indecipherable thoughts. To be honest, you hadn’t expected to ever receive an apology from Jisoo. She had acted so deliberately and with such calculated malice that it seemed unfathomable for her to actually feel guilt or remorse. The fact that she did, and had just expressed those feelings to you with what sounded to be true sincerity, left you completely at a loss.

“Why?” was all Tae finally said, his tone harsh and demanding. “Why did you do this to us?”

“I-I…It just…I was…,” she stammered before her voice trailed off and a few tears began trickling out.

“I trusted you,” he went on, his voice rising in frustration. “I trusted you and you betrayed me. You ruined what was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life. You jeopardized my entire future, everything I’ve spent years waiting and hoping for. You hurt me deeply, more than anyone else ever has and probably ever will, but far worse than that, you hurt Y/N. You hurt her and tried to drive her away, knowing how much I love her and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”  

“Why would you be so cruel?” he then shouted, now shaking with rage. “Why would you be so fucking selfish?”

At the sound of his words, something inside Jisoo seemed to snap. In an instant, the sad, shameful look she had worn since the moment you first laid eyes on her vanished and gave way to one of seething anger.

“Because someone was blackmailing me!” she yelled back at him.

“Someone who knew about your relationship was threatening me,” she continued, an unmistakable hint of fear now mixed in with her anger. “And I-I just panicked.”

Of all the reasons she could have given, that was the absolute last one you ever would have expected. As you and Tae wordlessly stood there, both of you too shocked to even attempt to respond, she pulled out her phone and navigated to her text messages. After scrolling for what felt like an eternity, she finally set her phone down on the counter and turned it around so you could see.

There on the screen was a photo of a beach with a beautiful sunset. On that beach, standing a couple feet into the water, was a man holding a barefoot woman in his arms. She was snuggled up against him, her head on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his neck, and his lips were pressed to her temple in a kiss.

The scene was so tender and intimate and romantic.

And so heart-stoppingly familiar.

You gasped, your hand flying up to cover your mouth, as Tae stiffened beside you, his grip on your waist tightening like a vice. The evidence was right there in front of you, clear as day, and yet you simply could not believe it. Your magical moment on the beach with Tae, the one that changed your life forever, had been secretly witnessed and photographed by someone.

As she swiped through several more photos, you saw Tae turning around and carrying you across the sand back towards the road. The quality of the photos was shockingly good and you could clearly tell it was him in most of them. Having nuzzled into his neck because you were feeling shy and nervous, your face was hidden in all of the photos except for the last. In that one, Tae had just reached the road and you had finally pulled back to look at him. It wasn’t the best angle, but anyone who knew you would be able to recognize you in a heartbeat.

“I was sent these photos one night three weeks ago by a random number,” Jisoo said to break the silence.

“It took me a few minutes to realize they had been taken at the Itaewon Class photoshoot,” she went on, her voice hushed and shaky. “As you know, I wasn’t there, but I remembered you saying that it took place at the beach and that Y/N went with you.”

“I was confused and nervous as to why someone was sending them to me,” she admitted, sounding genuinely fearful. “But, before I could reply, more messages came flooding in.”

The photos she showed you next were infinitely more disturbing than the ones from the beach and had you clutching Tae’s shirt in absolute horror. You and Tae loading things into your car outside of your old apartment. You and Tannie playing in what was supposed to be the private courtyard of the apartment complex. You driving through the gate and into the parking garage underneath the building. You walking out of the front doors of the Big Hit building. You shopping at the grocery store while wearing Tae’s gray sweatshirt. There were a bunch more of you out and about around Seoul, all of them taken at what appeared to be frighteningly close range, and then came the text messages.

[Unknown 8:44 PM] Who is this woman?

[Unknown 8:46 PM] She shouldn’t be touching Tae.

[Unknown 8:47 PM] She shouldn’t be in his home or playing with Tannie or wearing his clothes.

The next set of photos were no longer of you and Tae, but of Jisoo and Tae. They clearly weren’t taken by the sender and instead seemed to have been gathered from the internet. Most of them showed their interactions at various events they’d both attended, like her kissing him on the cheek at last year’s Golden Disc Awards. There were also a number of screenshots from the Instagram Lives they did over the summer when they were recording the song. A couple of them were even fan edits, ones you had previously seen circulated on Twitter by delusional TaeSoo shippers.

[Unknown 9:15 PM] Are you mad that he left you for her?

[Unknown 9:16 PM] You should be.

[Unknown 9:16 PM] She doesn’t deserve him.

[Unknown 9:17 PM] You don’t deserve him either.

[Unknown 9:20 PM] No one does.

“By this point, I was already so creeped out,” Jisoo said, sounding truly frightened. “This person was obviously a crazy sasaeng fan who was obsessed with Tae and had been stalking you both for months. I don’t think they knew about the fake dating cover, but they clearly thought Tae and I were actually dating at some point and figured out that you and him were currently together.”

“They were following you everywhere you went, Y/N,” she added as she looked at you with wide, terrified eyes. “Everywhere.”

You shuddered, the hairs on the back of your neck rising up as your stomach dropped. Someone had been following you and watching you and photographing you for months and you’d had absolutely no idea. As a tidal wave of fear and disgust and dread crashed over you, Tae drew you even closer, holding you in the tightest, most protective embrace as he pressed his cheek to your temple.

“I was going to tell you,” Jisoo then said, her voice laden with regret as fresh tears pooled in her eyes. “I was going to tell you so you could alert the police and get the Bit Hit security team involved. I was, I promise.”

“But, then they sent this,” she all but whispered as she scrolled down to reveal another set of messages and photos.

[Unknown 10:20 PM] She can’t be with him anymore.

[Unknown 10:22 PM] Make her go away.

[Unknown 10:23 PM] Do it or else.

Below those distressing, threatening messages was a photo of a girl sitting at a café, a drink in one hand, her phone in the other. She looked to be a bit younger than you, the presence of a backpack on the chair beside her indicating she was likely still in school. She had big, almond eyes, pink heart-shaped lips, and long, dark brown hair that cascaded down her back in gentle waves. Her beauty was striking. It was the kind you couldn’t help but notice and admire. The kind you would remember and recognize again if you ever saw it. The kind, you then realized, that was standing right in front of you.

“Jisoo, who is that?” you asked quietly.

Watching as the anguish spread across her face and her lower lip began to quiver, tears pricked at your own eyes as you realized you already knew the answer to that question.

“It’s my little sister, Hyejin,” she cried before a terrible sob tore through her and she completely lost it.

Without even thinking, you slipped out of Tae’s hold, strode over to Jisoo, and gathered her in your arms. She melted into your embrace instantly, burying her face in your shoulder as she began sobbing uncontrollably. As you stroked her back and whispered comforting words, you watched as Tae started swiping through more photos.

They were just like the ones of you, candid and invasive and wholly unsettling. Hyejin shopping at the mall. Walking down the sidewalk. At a restaurant with friends. In her car at a gas station. Through the window in what appeared to be a dorm room. There were just so many photos and below them were more threats, each one more frightening than the last. At some point Jisoo responded, at first refusing to get involved, but eventually conceding once it was clear the sasaeng fan could not be reasoned with.

Beside you, Tae looked stricken, his face drained of all color as he stared down at Jisoo’s phone. He hadn’t said a word, but you knew exactly what was going through his mind. Family was everything to Tae; he loved and protected his fiercely. He went to extraordinary measures to keep them hidden and allow them to live safe, normal lives. It broke his heart that he often couldn’t be there with them, that he had to miss things like his brother’s baseball games and sister’s dance recitals, but he had no other choice. The risk of him being recognized and his family being exposed was just too great. If anything ever happened to them because of him, he would never forgive himself.

“I don’t know how this happened,” Jisoo sobbed into your shoulder, almost incoherently. “I’ve always been so careful. I’ve never posted photos of her. I’ve never gone out in public with her. I’ve never shared any of her personal information. I've been an idol for six years and no one has ever found her before now.”

“Hyejin is only seventeen,” she went on despondently. “It’s my job to take care of her and keep her safe, but I didn’t do that. She’s in danger and it’s my fault. All of this is my fault.”

With every word she spoke, your heart broke a little more. From the conversations he’d had with Jisoo over the last few months, Tae had gathered that she didn’t have the best home life while growing up. After her parents went through a bitter divorce when she was very young, she and Hyejin ended up living with their father. He never remarried, but their mother did and then moved far away not long after. From that point forward, Jisoo became somewhat of a mother figure to her younger sister, doing everything she could to help raise the young girl and also protect her from their father who unfortunately was not always the kindest man.

After joining the drama club simply to get out of the house, Jisoo quickly discovered that she had both a talent and passion for performing. With encouragement from her performing arts teacher, she eventually auditioned with YG entertainment when she was sixteen and was accepted as a trainee. Becoming a trainee allowed Jisoo to escape, but it also meant leaving her sister behind which made her feel unbearably guilty. Despite her hectic schedule as a trainee and eventual idol, Jisoo visited home as much as possible to continue taking care of Hyejin and, as soon as could afford it, arranged to have her enrolled in a private boarding school just outside of Seoul.

It was rare for Jisoo to step out of her cold, hard idol persona, even when she was alone with Tae, but when she’d spoken of her sister he had noted an undeniable warmth and tenderness. Though she often tried to play it off, it was clear to him that she absolutely adored the girl and would do anything for her. In what you now realized was the most ironic and heartbreaking turn of events, it had actually been Jisoo’s quiet, but unwavering love for her sister that ultimately convinced Tae that she could be trusted to safeguard your love.

“I’m so sorry,” Jisoo said again, finally lifting her head to look at you. “I know I shouldn’t have given in, but I was just so scared. I didn’t know what to do. They knew so much about her and were threatening such terrible things. I was so afraid of what would happen if I asked for help. I just panicked.”

“I just wanted them to stop,” she added softly, looking and sounding so terribly distraught. “I just wanted them to leave my little sister alone.”

As you watched tears once again well up her eyes, and felt your heart ripping apart, you were struck with a truly devastating realization: the sasaeng fan targeted Jisoo as a way to get to you. Had they been able to discover your identity, it wouldn’t have been Hyejin being threatened, it would have been Jia and Nari. A gut-wrenching mixture of relief and guilt immediately welled up inside you. What would you have done if that had happened? What would you have done if someone threatened the people you loved most in the entire world?

The answer was immediate: you would have done anything to protect them.

“I know,” you told her as the first few tears began spilling down your own cheeks. “I know and I understand. I have two sisters and I love them more than life itself. I can’t even imagine how scared you must have been.”

“I’m so sorry that they did this to you because of me,” you went on, now crying in earnest. “I’m sorry and I forgive you.”

“I forgive you too,” Tae added softly as he wrapped an arm around you and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“We’re not going to let this person hurt you or your sister,” he then vowed. “We’ll figure this out together, I promise.”

~~~

Jisoo accompanied you and Tae to your meeting with Bang PD and the Big Hit lawyer. With your support, she told them everything she’d shared with you, showing them the messages and photos and explaining what had happened. Bang PD was extremely concerned about the breach in security and quite disappointed that she hadn’t come forward sooner, but mostly he was upset that you’d all gone through such an awful experience.

He and the lawyer spent the next few hours explaining what would happen moving forward. Sadly, it was nothing new for one of their idols to be threatened and blackmailed, though they did acknowledge that this was a particularly messy situation. The authorities would be contacted immediately to help track down the person who had contacted Jisoo and bring charges against them. In the meantime, security would be heightened for you, Tae, and Jisoo as well as Hyejin.

Given that this person had been holding onto these photos for months, the lawyer was fairly confident that they had no actual intentions of releasing them. Usually when someone had compromising photos or information they wanted one of two things: money or attention. Money was clearly not the motivator in this situation; this person could have made a fortune by selling the photos of you and Tae, but had chosen not to. As long as ‘Jisoo’, aka the police using Jisoo’s phone, kept contacting them, they would be happy and cooperative, ideally long enough to be found.

When it was time for Jisoo and the lawyer to leave and go to the police station, you got up to give her a hug goodbye. She instantly returned it and then asked if the two of you could talk real in the hallway. Once the door closed she apologized again, not for what had transpired over the last three weeks, but for everything that had happened over the last year and a half. With a blush, she bluntly admitted to having always had a crush on Tae and being jealous of you. Even before you were together, she’d noticed the way he looked at you and spoke of you and suspected that he thought of you as more than a colleague or friend. She flirted with him nonetheless, and held out hope that maybe he’d someday return her feelings, but while they were recording the song together over the summer she finally accepted he was legitimately in love with you.

She said it stung to sing a love song with her crush, knowing that he wrote it for another woman, and that it hurt even more when Tae reached out to her almost two months later asking to fake date her to hide his relationship with you. To her it was a slap in the face since she thought she’d made it pretty obvious over the summer that she was genuinely interested in him. Given how aloof Tae could sometimes be, you knew it was entirely possible that he’d missed even the clearest signs that she’d given him.

In hindsight, she realized that she never should have agreed to the fake dating arrangement. She thought she could separate her feelings and approach the situation objectively, but she was wrong. She felt bitter and frustrated and honestly confused at times and she took it out on you by being petty and pushing the envelope when she was with Tae.

Her heartfelt apology was one you deeply appreciated and accepted without hesitation. Had you been in her shoes, you’re honestly not sure you would have handled it any better. You knew it would have absolutely crushed you to have Tae hold your hand and kiss your cheek and call you Jagi, but not actually mean any of it.

After saying one final goodbye, and promising to talk with her later to hear how everything went with the police, you went back into Bang PD’s office. He was on the phone with someone from the security team so you wordlessly sat down and waited for him to finish. As you gazed out the window at the Han River, contemplating how truly unbelievable the last twenty four hours had been, Tae reached over from where he was sitting beside you and took your hand. Turning to face him, you found him holding up a finger heart with his other hand which instantly brought a smile to your lips.

“I know it’s been such a long and tiring day for the two of you, but before you leave there is still one more matter that we need to discuss,” Bang PD tentatively began after he finally hung up the phone.

“Your relationship,” he then simply stated after a brief pause.

Amidst all the drama regarding Jisoo and the sasaeng fan, you had almost forgotten that this conversation was likely to take place today. Even though you had long ago accepted its inevitable outcome, you found yourself feeling incredibly nervous now that the moment had finally arrived. Sitting up straighter in your chair as Tae gave your hand an encouraging squeeze, you waited with bated breath for the Big Hit CEO to continue.

“I’ll be honest, my gut reaction last night was to forbid Taehyung from revealing your relationship to anyone here at Big Hit even after you left so as to avoid any controversy,” he admitted warily, causing your heart to seize.

“One of my biggest concerns is a potential scandal,” he went on. “We have done an excellent job so far maintaining the privacy of everyone’s relationships, in large part because our staff has been so compliant with their nondisclosure agreements, but I worried about how news of your relationship would be perceived internally. The optics are not great, especially with Jisoo being involved as well, and I feared there would be significant backlash once word got out.”

“However, I had a meeting with someone this morning who convinced me that a different, but equally drastic action needed to be taken,” he then said, giving you both a tight lipped smile.

Just then, he opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out a large manila envelope. It was unlabeled, save for the red ‘confidential’ stamp in the upper left hand corner. After holding it in his hands for a few moments, he eventually laid it down on the desk and then gently slid it over to you.

Picking it up with your free hand that was shaking ever so slightly, you realized that whatever was inside was rather thick and immediately your mind began racing. The envelope said ‘confidential’ so it must contain some sort of legal document. Did he just serve you court papers? Was Big Hit actually suing you for breach of contract?

“Sir, what is this?” you asked quietly, trying desperately to keep your voice from trembling.

“Why don’t you open it and find out,” was all he said in reply.

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One of the very first questions the nurse asked when she did your initial examination was if there was any chance you were pregnant. Like every other time you had been asked this question by a medical professional, you immediately and automatically replied ‘no’. She said they would still do the tests since it was standard procedure, but you truly thought nothing of it at the time. It wasn’t until she left the room that you remembered that Tae had also wondered if you might be pregnant just two days earlier, but even then you still didn’t consider it to be a legitimate possibility. You two had only been having sex for a little over a month and had used protection every single time. The idea that your protection had somehow failed and you then happened to convince during one of the first few times you had sex seemed downright preposterous.

Looking back now, you realized there were actually numerous indications that this idea was not that far-fetched. You had been convinced that the nausea and body aches and fatigue you experienced this past week were all psychosomatic symptoms of your mental distress, but you failed to note the fact that, even when your mental health was infinitely worse several years ago, it hadn’t physically manifested to anywhere near this extent. The overly-emotional state you’d recently been in was another sign you had clearly missed. Although you had always been a sensitive person, you typically internalized your feelings instead of letting them out. During the last month, though, you had shed more tears than ever before in your life, sometimes with good reason, but honestly, sometimes without.

However, upon hearing your doctor’s next question, you realized there was another, far clearer signal that you had somehow not seen amidst the chaos of the fake dating fiasco.

“Do you recall the date of your last period?” she asked gently. “That will tell us how far along you are.”

To be honest, you never really kept track of your period. It had always come pretty regularly and, at least until recently, you never had any reason to believe that would change. Racking your brain, you tried to think of the last time your life was inconvenienced by this oh-so-wonderful aspect of womanhood. With a blush, a memory suddenly came to mind: you gently stopping Tae’s hands when they began wandering during a heated make-out session and then sheepishly telling him that you had your period.

You were embarrassed because you had completely forgotten and then been the one to escalate things with your own teasing touches, but he didn’t bat an eye at your admission. Instead, he said with utter sincerity that it didn’t bother him at all and that he still wanted to make you feel good in whatever way you were comfortable with. You were so appreciative of his words, but also a bit taken aback by them, especially since your college boyfriend barely touched you when you had your period, something which always made you feel a bit ashamed.

After pressing your lips to his, you shyly suggested that the shower might be the best place for you two to continue. He gave you a small, slightly mischievous smile in response before scrambling off of the bed, scooping you up in his arms bridal style, and then carrying you to the bathroom. Under the stream of hot water, while he murmured sweet nothings and filthy praises between slow, sensual kisses, he used his long, lithe fingers to not only make you feel good, but to make you feel beautiful and perfect just the way you were.

That intimate experience had taken place in your hotel room in Los Angeles during the second half of your trip to America. You had shared similar ones in the days that followed, but none, you suddenly realized, since returning home.

“It was about six or seven weeks ago,” you admitted quietly, feeling positively mortified that you had not noticed your missed period and therefore understood its massive implications sooner.

“Many women don’t realize they are pregnant this early on, especially if they weren’t actively trying to conceive,” she replied, clearly noting your embarrassment and trying to make you feel better.

“And, based on your reaction, I’m guessing you weren’t actively trying?” she then gently offered, absolutely no hint of judgement in her voice.

“No, we weren’t,” you confessed sheepishly as your face flushed. “So this...this is a big surprise.”

Over the next ten or so minutes, your doctor shared with you a rather overwhelming amount of pregnancy-related information. She explained that this was likely one of the reasons why you fainted due to the fact that your blood pressure drops during pregnancy which can lead to dizziness and actual fainting spells in some instances. She mentioned that you needed to start taking prenatal vitamins immediately and also encouraged you to make an appointment with your OB-GYN as soon as possible. She also let you know that someone would be coming by in a little while to perform an ultrasound to check the health of the fetus.

As grateful as you were for her support and guidance, you couldn't deny that you were relieved when she finally excused herself and exited the room. You just needed a moment alone to catch your breath and begin trying to process everything. Laying back down on the bed, you took the pregnancy test out of the bag, held it up in front of you, and stared at the two tiny, pink, life-changing lines.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant.

The baby that you and Tae had somehow conceived despite always using protection was currently growing inside you, had actually been growing inside you for a month and a half, and would be born in approximately seven and a half months at which point you and Tae would become real life parents.

The thought was absolutely mind blowing.

And, given that today had already been one the most overwhelming and unpredictable days of your entire life, that was saying a lot.

An infinite number of possibilities and questions and worries began rushing through your mind, but before you had a chance to contemplate even a single one, the door suddenly opened again. You immediately stuffed the pregnancy test underneath the pillow behind you before Tae entered the room.

“I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” he said, closing the door and removing his disguise. “That was Bang PD. He wants us both to meet with him and the lawyer tomorrow morning before I meet with Jisoo later in the day. He thinks Namjoon-hyung should go with me, which I agree is probably a good idea.”

“He also thinks I should…,” he continued before he looked over at you and immediately went quiet.

You were staring at him, the father of the child you just discovered you were carrying, with big, searching eyes, your heart thrumming in your chest with nervous anticipation.

“Jagi, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with concern as he quickly came to sit down next to you on the side of the bed. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

You opened your mouth to say ‘Yes’, to tell him the news you had just received which would change both your lives forever, but the words would not come out. They were stuck there in your throat, thick and heavy, threatening to suffocate you.

“Sweetheart?” he questioned worriedly.

After trying and failing to speak for almost another full minute, you eventually decided to forgo words entirely. Instead, you reached underneath the pillow behind you and pulled out the pregnancy test. With a trembling hand, you held it out to Tae, your heart threatening to leap out of your chest as he carefully took it from you and looked down.

Witnessing the exact moment that Tae realized he was going to be a dad was a truly breathtaking experience, one that you knew would be forever etched into your memory. His initial expression was one of total shock, his eyes wide and his mouth agape, but when he looked up at you and saw you smiling shyly, it morphed into one of pure, unadulterated joy. When he gave you the biggest, brightest, boxiest smile you’d ever seen on his beautiful face, your mind cleared of all thoughts save one.

I hope our baby has his smile.

“Jagi, you’re pregnant?” he whispered, gazing at you in wonder and amazement.

You nodded your head as your smile grew.

“Our baby is right here?” he then asked as he gently placed his hand on your abdomen.

“It is,” you replied quietly, bringing your hand down beside his and carefully lacing your fingers.

He was silent for several moments as he looked once more at the pregnancy test, down at your joined hands resting on your abdomen, and finally back up at you. Bringing his free hand up to cup your cheek, he then leaned in to give you the sweetest of kisses. As his lips moved against yours, slowly and tenderly, like he was savoring every single second, his thumb gently caressed your cheek. When he finally broke this kiss and pulled back to look at you, his eyes were filled with tears.

“Sweetheart, this is the happiest moment of my entire life,” he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. “This is everything I’ve ever wanted - a family with you, my best friend, my beautiful Jagi.”

His words enveloped you like a warm, comforting embrace, one that made you feel safe and loved and cherished. As confident as you were that this was going to be his reaction, hearing him voice his feelings so passionately and sincerely meant the absolute world to you. Knowing that he wasn’t just supportive, but truly excited, allowed you to finally embrace your own feelings.

“This has been my dream for three years, Tae,” you confessed, gazing into his misty eyes, tears pooling in your own. “I love you with all my heart and I’m so excited to be starting a family with you.”

“I love you too, Jagi,” he replied, still tenderly stroking your cheek. “I love you and our baby so much. I’m going to take care of you both and be the best husband and father I can possibly be. I promise I’ll always be there for you and for our family.”

Husband

The instant that word left his lips, you froze as the cold, harsh reality of your situation came crashing down upon you, shattering the blissful state you had been in just seconds ago. While you deeply appreciated his beautiful promise for the future, it sadly did nothing to lessen the blow that he had unintentionally just dealt you. With his declaration, Tae had reminded you of a simple, but crucial fact, one whose gravity had truly not occurred to you until this very moment:

Tae wasn’t your husband, at least not yet.

And, more importantly, he wasn't your husband when your baby was conceived.

It was this sobering realization that caused the first few tears to begin sliding down your cheeks.

The sad truth was that the stigma around premarital pregnancy was still very strong. In the K-pop world specifically, where there was already so much drama regarding idol’s relationships, it was an even bigger issue. This fact was put on wide display earlier in the year when the lead vocalist from the group EXO, Chen, announced his engagement to his pregnant girlfriend. Many people in their fandom and elsewhere in the K-pop community were supportive, but a surprising number of people were not. They said terrible things about him and his fiancé, calling him selfish and reckless and accusing her of trapping him with the pregnancy. Some even went so far as to call for his immediate removal from the group.

If word ever got out that lovable, innocent BTS darling, Kim Taehyung, was having a baby out of wedlock, with his own stylist of all people, it would be a massive scandal. There was obviously so much more to the story than that, so much nuisance regarding the situation and your relationship as a whole, but all of that would surely be lost within the media frenzy. The public debate and backlash could spell the end of Tae’s career, jeopardize everything BTS has spent almost a decade building, and, worst of all, cause so much hurtful speculation about you, your relationship, and your baby.

Even if the truth was never revealed to the general public, you and Tae would certainly still face judgment. You trusted that your family, Tae’s family, and the rest of the guys would be supportive, but after that you honestly weren’t sure. It pained you to admit that many of your own relatives would no doubt find your situation to be rather shameful. Some of them were extremely conservative and believed you shouldn’t even have sex before marriage. They might never say anything directly to you, but you knew they would wonder and whisper and forever view you differently.

At Big Hit, the fallout would likely be even more extreme. Bang PD and the management team certainly weren’t going to be thrilled to learn of this scandalous surprise, especially since they were already worried Jisoo might divulge information about your relationship. Everyone else in the company would also surely have opinions on the matter. You and Tae being together was going to be enough of a controversy as it was and an unplanned pregnancy would only add more fuel to the fire. People like Eunji and Donghae might have your back, maybe even Mrs. Choi as well, but other staff members were absolutely going to gossip. You were leaving Big Hit soon, so you thankfully wouldn't have to deal with that for very long, but Tae would have to endure it for at least the next five years.

Complicating things further was the fact that many of the people in your life would not be allowed to know you were with Tae until after he left Big Hit. There weren’t hard and fast rules about who you could or couldn’t tell, but you were supposed to keep the circle of people as small as possible and everyone you told had to sign an NDA. People like distant relatives and casual friends were going to eventually find out that you were pregnant, but you wouldn’t even be able to fully explain why you had to keep your relationship with the father hidden which would only make things look that much more suspicious.

The unavoidable truth was that people were going to have questions regarding the nature of your relationship once they learned that you and Tae had gotten pregnant before you were even engaged, let alone married. Even if they someday came to accept that you were in love and happy to be raising a child together, they might always have lingering doubts about the true reason why you got married. Knowing that people might forever question the sincerity of your commitment to one another honestly just broke your heart.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Tae asked, his brow furrowing slightly as he studied your face. “Those don’t look like tears of joy.”

“Are you nervous about becoming a parent?” he offered when you didn't immediately reply. “If you are, that's perfectly OK. I’m nervous too, but it’s going to be alright. We’re going to figure everything out together. You're going to be an amazing mom. I just know it.”

“It’s n-not that,” you replied weakly, your heart melting upon hearing his sweet words of assurance.

For the second time that night, you took a deep, steadying breath and summoned the courage to tell Tae something that you knew would be extremely hard for him to hear.

“I’m afraid that people will judge us,” you whispered.

“I’m afraid that they will think you’re only marrying me because you got me pregnant”, you then admitted tearfully, glancing down at the ringless finger in your joined hands.

“That they’ll think we were just hooking up and being irresponsible and that our baby…,” you went on before your voice broke.

Looking back up at Tae, you found that the tender, loving expression he had worn since the moment you gave him the pregnancy test had vanished and in its place was one of unbearable sadness. You knew your next words would only amplify the anguish he already felt, but you just couldn’t hold them in. They were simply too great a burden to bear by yourself.

“That our baby was a mistake,” you finally confessed with a terrible sob.

Tears instantly welled up in his own eyes, but before you had a chance to see them fall he climbed onto the bed beside you and lifted you up onto his lap. Safely cradled in his arms, you began sobbing into his chest, holding absolutely nothing back as feelings of fear and sadness and guilt poured out of you. He was clearly trying to be strong for you, stroking your back soothingly and pressing endless kisses to your temple, but you could tell from the deep, shuddering breaths he took that he too was struggling to keep it together.

“T-That’s not going to happen,” he stammered out, his voice hoarse and strained, filled with such obvious pain. “I’m not going to let that happen.”

“I won’t let anyone think those awful things about us and our baby,” he then vowed as he lightly rocked you in his arms. “I won’t, Jagi. I won’t.”

“I have always wanted you to be my wife and always wanted to have a family with you,” he went on. “I’ll make sure everyone knows that.”

“I-I promise,” he added quietly, almost to himself rather than to you.

You desperately wanted to believe him, to dismiss your fears and trust that he could protect you both from this hurt, but you knew in your heart that this promise was one he could not keep. No matter what he said or did, the truth was people were going to think what they wanted to think. Some would take the time to understand and appreciate your long and complex and beautiful love story, but some unfortunately would not. Some would judge you and doubt you and accuse you and you would just have to learn how to live with that. When he said nothing more, just held you to him ever more tightly as a heartbreaking silence fell over the room, you knew he too had accepted this reality.

The two of you stayed there like that for a long time, Tae gently running his fingers through your hair while you absentmindedly traced patterns across his chest with your own. You felt incredibly guilty for ruining the joyous moment by sharing your fears, but you also knew it was for the best that you were both aware of what was likely to come. Sooner or later, people would find out about your situation and, when they did, they would inevitably begin asking questions and sharing their opinions. You two needed to be prepared for how you were going to respond and then cope with the pain that would undoubtedly be caused.

“Jagi,” Tae suddenly said to break the silence. “We can get married right away - tomorrow even, if I could meet with your dad first - but no one outside of our family and close friends needs to know that it happened after you got pregnant.”

It took you several moments to register the words he had spoken and their greater implications, but when you finally did you raised your head off of his shoulder to look at him.

“Are you…are you saying we should lie about when we got married?” you asked hesitantly.

“Sweetheart, what does being married mean to you?” he asked in reply, his tone warm and affectionate.

You were quiet for several moments while you considered his question. On the surface, marriage was a formal, legal union between two people, but its true meaning ran so much deeper than that. When you thought of marriage, the very first thing that came to mind was the one your parents had shared for twenty five years. You thought of all the ways, both big and small, that they showed their love for one another. You thought about how they wholly accepted one another, faults and all, and helped each other grow. You thought of all the compromises and sacrifices they made and how their relationship and your family was always their top priority. And, above all else, you thought of their unwavering commitment to each other right up until the very end.

“That you’re committed to spending your life with someone and to loving and supporting them no matter what,” you finally answered, your eyes shimmering from the remembrance of those sad, but beautiful memories.

“That is exactly how I feel,” he replied, wiping away your tears that had fallen. “And, in my eyes, we’ve already made that commitment.”

“We made and sealed it when I gave you this,” he then said softly as he took your hand and ran his thumb along your couple’s ring.

“This ring was a promise of marriage, sweetheart,” he confessed as he brought your hand to his lips and placed a little kiss to your ringed-finger. “A promise of forever.”

“You knew that, right?” he then asked, giving you a small, slightly bashful smile. “You knew then that I wanted to be your husband and for you to be my wife?”

As you laid there in his arms, gazing into his eyes and seeing nothing but love reflected in them, you thought back to that morning in your bedroom when he gave you the ring…

For a moment you were utterly speechless. You knew without question that it was not a coincidence that this ring matched the one he wore around his neck and the knowledge of that fact was overwhelming in the best way possible. The statement he was making by giving it to you was clear as day and had you falling impossibly deeper in love with him.

“Baby, it’s absolutely beautiful,” you said breathlessly as he gently took the ring from you and slipped it onto your finger. “Thank you so much.”

You then crawled out from under the covers and climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as he automatically snuck his around your waist. He was sporting the biggest, brightest smile, one you found yourself instantly mimicking due to the abundance of love and joy that was blooming in your chest.

“You’re beautiful,” he said shyly as he pulled you closer and brought his lips to yours for a slow, sweet kiss.

“I love you, Jagi,” he then said softly after breaking away and looking deeply into your eyes. “I know things are difficult right now, but if you’re ever feeling anxious or scared or are having doubts about anything I want you to look down at this ring and remember that I will always love you.”

At his words, happy tears instantly pooled at the corners of your eyes. He always knew just what you needed, always knew just what to say to reassure you.

“I’ll always love you, too,” you said quietly as you pressed your lips against his once more and took his hand, intertwining your fingers and bringing together the two rings you now wore to symbolize your commitment to one another.

In that moment you knew that all you needed to do was trust in him and the love you had for one another. If you did that, no matter what anyone else did or said, you two would surely be OK...

“I did,” you finally replied as a shy smile spread across your face. “As soon as I saw the purple color, I knew.”

“I was so excited because I wanted that too,” you then confessed, now beaming back at him. “More than anything.”

At the sound of your words, he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before pulling back to look at you with a soft smile and adoring eyes.

“Sweetheart, I consider that the day that our lifelong partnership truly began,” he then said sincerely. “We exchanged those rings and vowed to always love each other in our own little special commitment ceremony.”

“Tannie was the witness,” he then added cheekily. “In fact, he was the ring bearer.”

At that, you couldn't help but smile and let out a soft laugh.

“We’ve been living out that commitment since then, Jagi, and that's what's most important,” he went on, growing serious once more. “We’ve been through so much, but we haven't given up on each other or our future together. We’ve acknowledged our mistakes, apologized and offered forgiveness, and promised to work on ourselves so we can become better partners and have a stronger, healthier relationship. We’ve continued to love and support each other no matter what.”

"If anyone questions the timeline of everything we’ll say that we had a private ceremony, that you got pregnant shortly after and we couldn’t be happier about it, and that we plan to have a wedding reception next year to celebrate with our family and friends," he then continued, sounding so sure and confident. "But, the fact that we didn't legally get married on the day of that ceremony isn't anyone’s business but our own."

As you gazed up at him, taking in his soft, earnest expression and the warmth it radiated, all of the fear and doubt that had been lingering in your heart melted away. What he was proposing wasn’t about fudging dates or saving face or avoiding a scandal. It wasn’t about lying. It was about acknowledging and embracing and protecting the most important truth of all: that you and Tae were deeply in love and fully committed to each other and to spending your lives together when your baby was conceived.

You didn’t need a legal document to prove that. Anyone who thought you did didn’t understand the true meaning of marriage anyway and therefore didn’t deserve to be given an opportunity to pass judgement. You and Tae had every right to protect yourselves and your baby from those people and anyone else who might hurt you, intentionally or otherwise. If that meant not publicly disclosing the date on which you actually signed a marriage license, you were perfectly OK with that. In all honesty, that day would never feel like the true beginning of your life together anyway.

“Can we celebrate the day of our little special commitment ceremony as our anniversary?” you then asked hesitantly, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he replied, giving you an adorably shy smile.

After reaching up to brush away a loose strand of your hair, he cupped your cheek and pulled you in for the softest, sweetest, most loving kiss, one that somehow, after all this time, caused a million butterflies to begin fluttering in your chest.

“You know, you called me Tannie’s mommy for the first time when you had him bring me the ring that morning,” you reminded Tae once he finally released your lips. “I loved the way it sounded and couldn’t help but imagine you calling me that when we actually had children.”

“Mommy,” he said softly, rubbing his nose against yours. “You’re going to be a mommy very soon.”

“And, you’re going to be a daddy,” you replied back as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“I am,” he said excitedly as a giant grin spread across his face. “I can’t believe it. I’m going to be a dad. You’re going to be a mom. We’re going to have a baby!”

He bent down to give you another quick kiss before lifting you up off his lap and laying you down beside him. You assumed he was going to come lay next to you so you could cuddle, but then he scooted down towards the foot of the bed and laid by your legs instead. You were confused at first, but when he gently lifted your shirt up a little you finally realized what he was doing.

“Hi little one,” he whispered against your tummy before placing a kiss just below your belly button. “This is Daddy.”

“I can’t wait to meet you and give you all the snuggles and kisses,” he cooed. “I can’t wait to see you and Mommy together and hold you both in my arms. My sweetheart and our baby.”

“I already love you so much,” he went on. “I love you and Mommy both so much, more than anything else in the whole world.”

As you watched him pepper more kisses all over your tummy, each one punctuated with an adorably loud ‘mwah’, you thought for sure that your heart would burst. Since the day you watched Tae play peekaboo with Son Sung Deuk’s baby for ten straight minutes, you knew he would one day make a great dad, but not even that sweet interaction could have prepared you for this. It had only been twenty minutes, but dad-to-be Tae was already beyond anything you could have imagined in your wildest dreams. You truly could not have asked for a more loving, supportive, and wonderful partner to raise a child with.

“However, because I love you I feel obligated to inform you that you are our first baby and that we have absolutely no idea what we’re doing,” Tae suddenly admitted, which made you giggle. “We’re going to read all the parenting books and ask your grandparents for advice and try our very best every single day, but it might be a little rough in the beginning. It’s going to take Mommy and I a little while to become fluent in baby language so I apologize in advance for any miscommunication. Hopefully we can resolve any issues amicably over a bottle of warm milk, but if you have any major concerns you can file a formal complaint with our family’s HR manager, Tanju.”

You were cracking up now, not just because of what he said, but how he said it. He sounded so serious and professional and wore a completely straight face. It was honestly as if he was in some super important business meeting brokering a huge deal.

“Being the first baby will have its perks, though,” he went on, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he spoke. “We’ll love you longest out of all of our children so you can rub that in your future sibling’s faces if they’re ever mean to you. You’re going to be the first grandchild on either side too, so you know you’re going to get extra spoiled because of that. And, you’re also going to be the first BTS baby which is quite the honor. Everyone thought Joon-hyung and Aera or Jin-hyung and Yuri would be first, but Mommy and I swooped in and beat everyone. We honestly weren’t even trying to win the race, but our baby-making skills were apparently just that good.”

At this point, you were laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. How he had managed to come up with all of that off the top of his head was simply beyond you. Of all the reasons why you loved Tae, of which there were many, his imagination and sense of humor were two of the biggest. It was moments like these that made you realize just how lucky you were to be in love with your best friend. With him by your side, you knew there would never be a dull moment as long as you lived.

“Basically, what I’m trying to say is that Mommy and I are awesome, we love you so much, and everything is going to be alright,” he then said, his stoic expression finally slipping as he cracked a smile. “We can’t wait to meet you in a couple months and introduce you to everyone, but until then you just focus on growing big and strong and maybe trying not to make Mommy too sick if you can help it.”

After whispering one more ‘I love you’ and giving your stomach a final kiss, Tae crawled back up to lay beside you. As he wound his arms around you and pulled you close, you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. Laying there together like that, you felt truly and completely at peace.

“I’m going to tell you something, but you have to promise not to make fun of me,” Tae suddenly said a few minutes later, sounding rather serious.

“OK, I promise I won’t,” you replied back, lifting your head to glance at him.

He was quiet for a few moments, his hands nervously fidgeting at your sides as he looked anywhere but at you.

“I already have a list of like thirty potential baby names,” he finally admitted with a sheepish smile.

“You do?” you whispered, giving him major heart-eyes as a big, dopey grin spread across your face.

“I do,” he confirmed, blushing wildly as he grabbed his phone from the bedside table where it had been charging. “I randomly thought of some a few months ago and wrote them down so I wouldn’t forget. Since then I’ve been adding to the list whenever I think of another one.”

He navigated to his ‘Notes’ app, clicked on one plainly titled ‘Names’, and then handed his phone over to you. There were a bunch of names on the screen in front of you for both boys and girls, but it was the first one on the list that immediately drew your attention.

“Jimin is the first name you thought of?” you asked before you burst out laughing.

“It wasn’t the first one,” he defended with a pout. “I just put it at the top of the list when I added it.”

“He says we have to name one of our kids after him so he can nickname them ‘Mini-Min’,” Tae then told you with a silly smile.

“Jimin would request that we name a kid after him,” you said back, rolling your eyes teasingly.

“What if we name one Taemin?” you offered a moment later. “That way they’ll be sort of named after you, but can still have the nickname ‘Mini-min’.”

“That could be a good compromise,” he replied, nodding his head in agreement. “I’ll add it to the list and run it by Jimin.”

For the next half hour you sat there together in your hospital bed, him leaning against the wall with you between his legs, snuggled against his chest. With one hand he held you safely to him, his fingers rubbing back and forth in a gentle, soothing way across your tummy underneath your shirt. With his other hand he held his phone up in front of you both while he scrolled through endless lists of names as well as numerous articles about pregnancy and babies and parenthood. It was all a bit surreal, and a little overwhelming too, to be honest, but knowing that you would be tackling everything together comforted you and made you far more excited than you were nervous.

When the ultrasound technician arrived a short while later, Tae quickly put his disguise back on which honestly made you a bit emotional. Even if the ultrasound was only going to show fuzzy black and white images of a little bean, it was still your little bean that you would be seeing for the first time. He was going to be wearing the biggest smile, you just knew it, and it broke your heart a tiny bit to know that you wouldn’t get to see it. However, you understood that he needed to be careful, not just for his sake or your sake anymore, but for the sake of your baby.

The technician was incredibly friendly and thankfully didn’t make any sort of fuss over the fact that Tae was clearly wearing a disguise. She talked to you both normally, carefully explaining what she was going to be doing and answering any questions that either of you had before she got started. From how nervous yet excited you both were, she correctly guessed that this was your first baby and then assured you that everything you were feeling right now was completely normal.

Tae held your hand the whole time she prepped you, periodically giving it little squeezes while his thumb softly stroked yours. When it was just about time to begin, he brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a little kiss through his facemask. As your joined hands then came to rest on the bed beside you, the technician began reaching over to grab the ultrasound transducer before suddenly stopping and turning back to face you both.

“You can take your disguise off if you’d like, Mr. Kim,” she said quietly, giving Tae a small, hesitant smile. “I promise I’m not going to tell anyone that you and your partner are expecting...or that you’re in a relationship to begin with.”

“For starters, it would be medically unethical, but, regardless, I would never betray your trust or violate your privacy like that. I respect you and the rest of the members too much to ever do such a thing,” she then said, her tone unmistakably sincere.

As your mouth dropped open, you looked over at Tae to find that his eyebrows had shot up above his sunglasses in obvious surprise.

“How did you…,” he began, his grip on your hand tightening as he spoke.

“Your voice,” she confessed shyly. “And your bracelets...and the fact that your sunglasses are Gucci.”

“I’m sorry if it's weird that I recognized you and I’m sorry if I’m being too forward,” she then quickly added. “It’s just...you shouldn’t have to hide right now.”

“Yes, you are ‘V’, the K-pop idol for BTS, but you are, first and foremost, Kim Taehyung, the person,” she went on passionately. “You deserve to enjoy this experience openly and proudly like every other expecting father. The two of you make such a cute couple and I can tell that you love each other so much. You should be able to share this special moment together without anything taking away from it.”

For perhaps the hundredth time that evening, tears welled up in your eyes, only these ones were decidedly happy. Her little speech was wonderful and adorable and everything you wanted and needed to hear. It was like she had read your mind and vocalized all of the thoughts she found swirling in there. You could tell from how sincerely she had spoken that she was suggesting this not just so she could catch a glimpse of Tae, but because she truly cared. Even though you had only known her for ten minutes, and even though Tae technically wasn’t supposed to reveal himself to anyone, you felt in your heart that you could trust her. So, when Tae turned towards you, silently asking for your thoughts, you nodded your head.

“What’s your name?” he asked as he turned back to face her.

“Chaewon,” she replied, now looking slightly nervous.

“Thank you, Chaewon,” he then said as he removed his mask, sunglasses, and hood. “Thank you for the kindness and respect you’ve shown us. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

“Yes, thank you so much,” you added, giving her an appreciative smile.

“You’re welcome,” she replied politely. “But, I’m really just doing my job.”

“As a medical professional and as an ARMY,” she then added with a little grin.

Tae gave her a big, boxy smile in return before turning back to look at you. He leaned down and gave you a kiss, told you again that he loved you so much, and then took your hand once more.

“OK,” he said, barely able to contain his excitement. “We’re ready to see our baby.”

~~~

It was almost 2:00 AM when the Big Hit company driver pulled up in front of the apartment complex. The trip home from the hospital had only taken twenty minutes, but that had apparently still been long enough for you to fall into a deep sleep. By the time you had fully woken up, you weren’t even in the car anymore, you were in Tae’s arms and he was already walking into the lobby.

“Tae,” you mumbled sleepily. “I can walk.”

“Nope,” he quickly replied. “Not allowed.”

“Jagi carries baby, I carry Jagi,” he then stated proudly.

Smiling to yourself at how unbelievably adorable he was, you didn’t protest again and instead just burrowed deeper into his warm, loving embrace, your hand resting over the front pocket of his shirt where the sonogram printout was safely tucked. You and Tae had both cried during the ultrasound, softly when the first image came up on the monitor, but in earnest when you saw your baby’s heartbeat. It was, without a doubt, the most incredible experience of your life. As he whisked you past the garden of beautiful purple flowers, humming happily to himself while he pressed little kisses to the top of your head, you felt more certain than ever that everything wouldn’t just be alright, it would be wonderful.

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