just sent my ex my blood pressure results so she fuckin knows what shes missing

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?

The first sign that I was trans came to me in 5th grade in the form of a series of dreams in which I was flat chested and looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. I have no doubt of my gender but I’m also now convinced with the emergence of Shaggy memes that it was Shaggy himself trying to recruit me as his holy vessel. The dreams stopped when I started getting depressed I think he thought I was too weak to support his power

me getting my heart ripped out of my chest: okay first off, mood,

Ok, let’s admit it. The Biggest Forced Hetero Relationship on tv ever had to be Kelsi and Ryan from High school musical.

*whispers* I don’t dance

Ryan and Kelsi were each other’s beards

@erin1355

A high school musical remake would only matter if it made Ryan gay and let him date Chad