Misery Guts

my roommate and i were trying to identify two birds outside of our window and she's pulling up pictures on her phone and she says "ok so that one's a house sparrow" and shows me a picture i nod my head and then she points to the reddish one next to it outside and says "and that one's a house finch" and she shows me again and i nod and then she switches to a new tab and it's a picture of hugh laurie and she says "and this is house m.d." i'm gonna kill her

that was like watching someone very skillfully assembling a stained-glass window just to watch someone else dropkick it

The first time I saw that creature I thought (it's like noodles). Honestly It tastes like burnt camera roll rather than noodles :(

I mean if you're stranded at sea and you do kill a seagull with a golf ball and it lands on the deck and you don't have any water you COULD drink its blood for hydration but you run the risk of losing more water if it makes you too nauseous, and you would get more hydrated just eating the meat. If has bird flu you're fucked tho.

of course any sailor could tell you "don't kill a seagull it's bad luck" but personally if a sailor told me that while I hucked another wilson soft at a screaming airborne beach menace I would probably not handle the advice too well. I would most likely not take it with a lot of patience if I'm being fully honest

Id use my fantastic machine that turns blood into water.

it's always the fantastic blood machine with this guy