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Sirius kept watching Regulus. Enough years had passed that it felt like he was watching an apparition â here was a shadow of Regulus at eleven; here at eight â but none of it felt real. Sirius tightened the fists in his pockets and made himself look away and out of the window, where a few flakes of snow drifted past.Â
âYou know why I was there,â Sirius said without thinking, then abruptly realised that was completely true. Regulus was the other side. He knew about Ashen Phoenix, about their cause. It certainly looked like he was cosy enough to bloody Narcissa, who looked as if she wouldnât hurt a fly but almost certainly had plotted out a dozen ways to poison it and get away Scot free. Siriusâ grey eyes cut to Regulus in his peripheral vision.
It was probably useless trying to explain himself, but Sirius hated to be misunderstood. âYeah, Iâm having a fucking breakdown,â he replied coldly. âWhy am I repeating myself, Reg? Iâm not allowed to be glad youâreâŚâ Alive shivered on his tongue. Sirius hunched his shoulders against the cold draught.
âWhatever.â He sighed. âObviously this was a massive mistake.â I make a lot of those. Sirius shifted his weight, his leather jacket squeaking, before he took a measured step backwards. The laces of his Doc Martens trailed in the dust on the floor. Siriusâ face was blank. âIâll go, shall I?â
Regulus had to move. Suddenly. It had never felt like this before the cave. He remembered that before he could stand still and just count the tiles on the floor or the molding on the ceiling. Now he had to be moving. There were three steps to the window. That was better. The cold was betterâthough it didnât feel the same as it used to.
He missed Siriusâ dismissal, missed that he was leaving. Instead Regulus turned around and addressed his back like it was any other normal part of a conversation, âThatâscaring.â He started, stopped and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. âNot your style.â
Sirius was the sort to be direct about it. He was full of collateral damage but collateral damage come from a duel, an explosionâdirect and personal.
You know why I was there, Sirius had saidâbut there were many reasons he could have been and none of them explained the bloody mess that appeared at the party.
The direct path for walking was over towards Sirius so Regulus turned, walked a couple steps to one wall, then tried the other direction. âJames.â He said at lastâthough it might have only been moments. âAlways James. I guess. It always was.â
It always felt better to have a reason, even if it didnât entirely explain Siriusâ purpose here. The laugh that tumbled out startled him and he tried to smother it with a hand. âOh, yes.â Not even this explained it but at least it was something to grab at. Regulus needed certainty and there had been so little of it recently. The party had been a mistake. âOh, yes, youâre allowed to be glad Iâm dead.â

















