#daggermckinnon

sent from @daggermckinnon

Number Twelve: Absence made the Heart Grow Fonder

It took James and Marcus two months to connect with one another after James had taken the Mark. James wasn’t immediately shown off. Evan and the others who know about James’ situation needed to make sure he wouldn’t go running at the first chance. But he’d heard Marcus’ name - heard it within the circle of Death Eater - and James knew he’d defected. And while there was a small part of him that saw the hypocrisy, James still judged. Because Marcus had a choice - didn’t he?

That didn’t stop James’ feet from instantly flocking to the younger boy the moment the first meeting they’d attended together ended. It didn’t stop James from attaching himself to Marcus’ side during his first gathering at Malfoy Manor. Marcus was familiar - he was comfortable. And, perhaps, the most important thing... Marcus wasn’t a threat. James was used to being charge. He liked when people listened. But that had been stripped away from him along with the rest of his freedoms. With Marcus, however, there was a hint where James remembered the person he’d been. He can let the annoyance slip from his lips - he can question Marcus’ choices. 

☎

James Potter; Severus Snape; Petunia Evans         It probably means something that all three of these people don’t get along with each other. 

⊗

These days? Almost everything, though she rarely shows those doubts anymore. 

♆

♩ sent by @daggermckinnon

Chaos & Piss - P!nk

I worry how the whole thing looks, it doesn't look good But I thought that you would be here, no I just don't get it And being clear gets too much for me, just like it does for you Even though I want to, I want to, I don't

James watched as Marcus’ technique got better, more pronounced. And there was a sick sense of pride that he’d helped it happen. Told himself it was only because, the better Marcus performed, the less he would be punished. James didn’t particularly like watching someone else walk all over Marcus. He was the only person James knew from the other side.

It was easier to ignore what spell he was teaching Marcus - easier to pretend that what he was doing wasn’t bad. You have to mean it, he’d been told. And so James had decided to mean it. Because, if he didn’t, it wouldn’t be his head he’d have to worry about.

James didn’t like to think about this whole thing with much detail. Marcus made it simple. When they were together, it was almost as though being back in an Order meeting. They could’ve been stuck in any corner, talking about any mission. He couldn’t say he liked Marcus, but the fact that the younger boy was around was more valuable than James would ever admit.

Which is why he didn’t understand when he’d decided to fuck things up. They were happy pretending the spells they performed together, behind the masks, were nothing more than a hiccup charm. “Do you ever miss what it was like before?” James had asked, once, on a whim. His impulsive choices had gotten him into enough trouble, he should’ve learned by now. 

“What?” Marcus had said and James realized what he’d done. He’d made it clear for the both of them. That this was nothing like during the war. They were the bad guys now. James had killed people - he assumed Marcus had too. Didn’t they both get the honored tattoos? James had people he was fighting for and he couldn’t just mess it up to share a moment with Marcus McKinnon. Had he made it obvious that maybe he wasn’t completely on the wrong side yet? He couldn’t do that.

17. I Google You (Stalking Online or Off) sent from @daggermckinnon

The McKinnon boy was well beneath Narcissa’s notice at Hogwarts -- their time there barely overlapped, and some baby half-blood Hufflepuff would have had to go to great lengths to be interesting enough to cross her social circles -- but after school? After the war? After his family died? Ah, that was a different matter...

Everyone knew what had happened to the McKinnons...and what had done the deed. That made Marcus (and his sister) especially interesting to Narcissa for personal reasons...but even if they didn’t have a tenuous “blood connection” (a connection that Narcissa never intends to let Marcus discover, of course) due to her and Marcus’s sister both sharing a condition with what had slaughtered his family, he would have been interesting. He would have been useful.

He was damaged and lonely and vulnerable. And while Lucius was the one with the knack for finding and befriending the vulnerable (a useful talent to be sure, even if Severus had proved to be something of a disappointment of late) it was Narcissa who was particularly taken with Marcus -- and least after her fangs grew in, anyway. She kept an eye on him, gauging his progress (or lack thereof) after the deaths, after he took the Mark -- after he, too, found himself disappointment by the Dark Lord’s failure to follow-through on his promises. Waiting to see if resentment would kindle within despair...and then offering salvation. Not too much; he might have balked if they were too generous, might have felt too much like he was being bought...but enough to make it clear that unlike the Dark Lord, the Malfoys valued loyalty.

sent from @daggermckinnon

❣: Describe a way that will earn affection (whether platonic or romantic) from them.

Right now, James is pretty starved for any sort of affection after six months of torture and then another eight months as a Death Eater. In the past, he never had any trouble showing physical or emotional affection. He would hug his friends or put his arm around them – he kissed Lily openly. He smiled and laughed and had no problem with the words I love you. Now, all that feels so far away that he doesn’t even know who he’d be able to show affection to. The best way to earn it, however, is through trust. James does not trust the Death Eaters – does not trust the supporters – even though he’s one of them. Gaining his trust is much harder than it seems and, even if a person tried to show him affection, he’d be suspicious of it. To him, there’s nothing done in this world without some sort of external motivation behind it. So, try as you might, but he wouldn’t believe it anyway. And he’s very unlikely to show any sort of affection without trust.

☾ : On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing?

James has plenty of sleepless nights and, often, he can’t do anything about it. There’s not a whole lot of opportunities for nighttime adventures anymore. Usually, he’ll sit in Evan’s kitchen and read the papers (over and over again, trying to find some subtle hint of Sirius or Remus). If he’s able to go out, he’ll take a walk around the grounds.

But, most of the time, if he’s out and about during the nighttime, it has less to do with him and more to do with the Death Eaters. They like to work in the dark for the most obvious sinister stuff – the undermining, the law-changes, the taking over can be done right in the public, subtle whispers of Voldemort’s regime – and James is often part of that. His sleepless nights are just as much about following orders as they are about the nightmares from those orders.

❤ : Describe a physical action that shows complete trust.